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  1. #11
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    Default Returning to work after m/c -awkward

    It is wrong that your boss told people, but try to think about it from their side too- people may have been asking and genuinely concerned about why you were away, or maybe they told them so that people could understand and be more sensitive to your needs when back at work. I know everyone deals with a loss differently, but everywhere i have read ( because my best friend just went through it) says you should acknowledge and give sympathy for the loss. I am sure it comes from good intentions.

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    Default Re: Returning to work after m/c -awkward

    Perhaps your boss actually said that it was a Romans related illness to answer concerns of other staff, and he didn't actually know anything more than that.

    I'd definitely email saying you've had an awkward encounter with fellow staff and you'd like to know exactly what they have been told

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  3. #13
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    Default Returning to work after m/c -awkward

    Quote Originally Posted by Shackles View Post
    It is wrong that your boss told people, but try to think about it from their side too- people may have been asking and genuinely concerned about why you were away, or maybe they told them so that people could understand and be more sensitive to your needs when back at work. I know everyone deals with a loss differently, but everywhere i have read ( because my best friend just went through it) says you should acknowledge and give sympathy for the loss. I am sure it comes from good intentions.
    There's no excuse if the boss breached privacy with this one.

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    Totally agree with VicPark.

    OP's privacy has been breached and it is now considered gossip. OP's boss did NOT have her permission to 'gossip' to fellow co workers about anything personal. Well meaning or not. If she wanted people to know she would have told them herself.

    Boss's have a responsibility to keep things confidential. How would you like your personal business gossiped about to whoever will stand still long enough?

    Her boss could have just said she was ill and left it at that.

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    Default Returning to work after m/c -awkward

    Perhaps the boss told the workers that you had been through something and to be sensitive around you, looking out for your comfort and well being aaaand then on the other hand maybe they were just gossiping but if it really bothers you ask your boss what was said?

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    I'd be inclined to agree with those who have suggested the boss may have not disclosed the nature of the illness.

    Often people will ask around if they can see a colleague is unhappy/ away/ ill and sometimes saying a little and then leaving it at that (e.g., "She has been ill/ dealing with some personal things") can be enough to put speculation at rest.

    Sometimes a manager may also make a decision to confide in other management, and they could be overheard/ someone could say something. It doesn't mean that there is gossip.

    As for the colleague who approached you, OP, from what you've said it sounds as if it was with good intentions - even if he was a bit awkward about it.

    In the past I probably would have said something in those circumstances, as I would have felt that I was being rude by not acknowledging it. From being on here I have learnt enough to know not to do it though!

    I'm very sorry for your loss.


 

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