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  1. #21
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    I don't like being touched/hugged or shaking hands. I do not mind it in business dealings but person meetings I dilike it.

    I prefer to be social with men and do find emotional people awkward to be around and would not offer a hug or a shoulder if someone was breaking down.

    I come from a touchy feely hug/kiss cheeks sorta family and still am not comfortable with it. I am ok with kids but with adults it feels odd.

    Took me forever to show my husband affection while dating. I also never understood why women hated me when I was friends with the BF/Husbands since we just would punch/wrestle play fight. I never was attracted to them in that way and still do not understand why women get so upset about their BF/husband having female friends as to me if you cannot trust your partnr you should not be with them
    Last edited by fairyflossfairy; 23-08-2012 at 21:26.

  2. #22
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    Leeny is offline ADMINISTRATOR
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    Quote Originally Posted by Janesmum123 View Post
    Unfortunately if you are having a drink with a man many people think it's an affair if he is partnered.
    It's sad really that you can only be friends with 50% of the population due to social norms.
    I think so too.. I think I've gained a very valuable friend and a completely different aspect on some parts of life due to being able to have completely inappropriate socially unacceptable conversations with a friend who happens to be male.. I think we're missing out a bit!

    Granted, I know some males can put the moves on, just like some women can .. I think it's a person to person thing.. Some people have higher morals.

    Quote Originally Posted by fairyflossfairy View Post
    Took me forever to show my husband affection while dating. I also never understood why women hated me when I was friends with the BF/Husbands since we just would punch/wrestle play fight. I never was attracted to them in that way and still do not understand why women get so upset about their BF/husband having female friends as to me if you cannot trust your partnr you should not be with them
    I don't get the massive upset either? I guess if my husband/partner/boyfriend chose to be unfaithful, I'd rather not have him anyway? But just the same, if he dictated who I could and couldn't spend my "friend" time with, I'd really have to assess why, nor would I ever consider dictating who he could spend his time with.

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  4. #23
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    There isn't many people at all that can get away with giving me a hug and a kiss on the cheek! Only those I am particularly close to. Dh's best friend does which is fine with Dh and I and my best friend will give Dh a hug and that's fine too. But that's about the extent.

  5. #24
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    Default Personal Boundaries.. How are they different for men and women?

    All our friends/family/work are very big huggers/kissers , plus I've known most of my friends husbands for 20 years , work with my SIL and most of our employees have been with us for years, DH is the same so never have any problems/jealousy at all

  6. #25
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    Default Personal Boundaries.. How are they different for men and women?

    I'm a very touchy feely person so there's not a great deal that makes me uncomfortable, from a male or female.

    Only thing that comes to mind that crossed the line was when I was backpacking in Asia and sharing a room for a night with a male friend (whose girlfriend I was also friends with). We had to share a bed, which was fine. Him wanting to spoon and start tickle matches under the covers was a bit much

    Other than that I'm a hugger in general and love it when friendships are affectionate

  7. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by tiggerfields View Post
    Very generally speaking I think it's more broadly cultural as to what's accepted. Out in Asia I'll greet both professional and personal associates, both male and female, with a kiss on each cheek yet this isn't appropriate in Australia or the UK. It's also only a female/female and male/female thing, men greet men with a handshake.

    Within cultures it's down to what your social circle is comfortable with. Mine kiss and cuddle between women and women/men, and men will hug if they're close or shake hands if not.
    Where in Asia tiggerfields?

    To OP: I'm Asian learning to adapt to Australian culture. I feel very comfortable when hugging a few people, both male and female because they're very close friends or i feel like they're my parents/grandparents (like my teacher). I like it that my husband hugged & kissed my best female friends. Other than that I offer handshake or just nod when saying hello. I still feel very awkward when kissing on the cheek, like i don't know which side to tilt my head to make sure it doesn't end up on my mouth ykwim

  8. #27
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    missybubble is offline I'm a strange one, but I'm good at it :)
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    Default Personal Boundaries.. How are they different for men and women?

    Quote Originally Posted by Leeny View Post
    This is exactly my point (I'm not attacking you, your point of view is completely normal and its the social standard )... I'm curious as to why we're actually like this? Why if we had a boyfriend and they hugged a female would we feel jealous and threatened.. Is it because we're insecure? Is it because we don't trust that the husband/boyfriend and think he'll enjoy it a little too much?
    All good

    In my case I'm probably jealous and insecure lol.

  9. #28
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    Default Personal Boundaries.. How are they different for men and women?

    Quote Originally Posted by missybubble View Post
    All good

    In my case I'm probably jealous and insecure lol.
    But at least you're woman enough to admit it!

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  11. #29
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    I'm very touchy feely. I greet all friends and family with hugs and kisses. It's pretty normal in England (where I'm from), and everyone I knew did it there too.

    If I'm introduced to someone socially then I would usually take their lead. My instinct would be to kiss or hug them, but I know not everyone is comfortable with that! I tend to shake hands, and then if they lean in for a kiss I will go with it.

    I try to be respectful of other people's boundaries. I'm very comfortable with hugging/ kissing as that's what I grew up with. I think it's nice.

    I always used to (and still do) give both my parents a hug and kiss when greeting them or saying goodbye, and it's the same with other family and friends.

    I have no issue with DH doing the same. To me that's a friendship thing rather than anything more.

  12. #30
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    Default Personal Boundaries.. How are they different for men and women?

    DH and I are not people who give or show too much affection to anyone else except each other and our children. At special occasions we may hug extended family but generally there's nothing.


 

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