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  1. #11
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    Eko is offline Acrobatic Dominatrix.
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    That is so sad I can understand the little ones being clingy. Perhaps offer to stay over the night? That way they're in their own environment and they know that dad's right where he always is.
    The poor guy obviously needs a chance to work through his feelings, sadly the fact that it happened only recently might mean that it may not happen for a while.

    I can't really offer much else in the way of ideas for the kids that anyone else hasn't already given, but it's so lovely of you to be there for him and the kids. I'm certain that he appreciates it and the kids need to know that while things have changed and they've lost someone that is their whole world, they still have another person that's there for them.

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    Oh gosh.

    What you're doing, just being there and offering help, talking to the husband, helping with the children, is very significant so keep doing that.

    You said his family are on a farm...? Perhaps he could take the girls and stay on the farm with family for a little while..? He could keep busy, or have a break, the girls could spend time with extended family.. I don't know, just a suggestion.

    But keep talking to him - just being there, and asking how they're going goes a long way.

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    Default Please help, need advice to help a grieving friend

    You can do messy activities with a child in a cast- just cover the front in gaffer tape (it water proofs it) then she can do water play, play dough, painting etc. also bubble machines, Lego, books etc can be good.
    If the kids are clingy I would go around and get them engrossed in an activity (painting, making biscuts, play dough etc then send dad for a shower) it may be that 5-10 min alone that lets him recharge as he is probably also clinging to his kids. Meals are also good as well as snacks for the kids (there's seriously only do many spag bols and casseroles you can eat) but some fun kids snacks may brighten their day.

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    What a devastated situation for your friend family! I think what you're offering (meal drop off, baby sitting) is the best a friend can do in such a difficult time. Maybe tell him that you're there if he needs someone to talk to, and only if he opens up to talk and wants advice, suggest counseling, he takes the kids to the farm to be surrounded by family,...

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    Default Please help, need advice to help a grieving friend

    I dont know what advise to offer as I have never been in a situation like this.
    I think what your doing and what others have suggested is great.
    I would imagine just you talking to him would mean a lot.

    I couldn't read and run, your friends family is in my thoughts.
    What a terrible situation
    If something like that ever happened to me I would be eternally greatfull if DH had someone like you around.
    God bless you.

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    Default Please help, need advice to help a grieving friend

    Thanks so much everyone. You all have some fantastic ideas and I will have a chat to my other friends (we all knew each other from our mothers group) and I reckon between all of us we can put a lot of those suggestions into practice.

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    Such a sad story

    This may sound random but I know 14 months is a bit young for DVDs but I have foun my little boy loves those baby einstein DVDs. They dont have a story just music and lots of pictures and colours and it changes every 10-20 seconds or so to keep them interested.

    They were a life saver as my boy gets bored very easy if I ma not entertaining him and about 3pm after the arvo nap I get them out and he immediately looks at the tv and wont look away till I turn them off (it goes for 1/2 and hour but you can -put them on repeat play so they go round and round.)

    I can get all my chores done in this time and he just sits wide eyed till I turn them off. Sorry If this has been suggested before.

    I got a 24 pack online for about $30 but i am sure they sell in stores as well.

    You are a good friend

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    Default Please help, need advice to help a grieving friend

    Ahhh yes I will look into those DVDs!

    I saw my friends DH again today at kindy and he still looked exhausted but I'm sure it was easier for him to deal with just their DD rather then the 2 kids. I think sending their DS back to kindy is a good move.

    I know a PP suggested me taking their DD out for walks and I suggested that to him today and he seemed pretty keen. Their pram was destroyed in the fire (the car caught fire) but he said he does have a loaner pram from the hospital. I have told him that I will give him food every few days and I know his neighbour dropped off some groceries to him yesterday. Also my mothers group girls are all willing to put in to get him a cleaner for a couple months until he gets back on his feet.

    Thanks again for all your advice ladies I really appreciate it


 

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