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  1. #1
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    Default I am useless :(

    I have the blues today feeling so useless.

    I see other mums and they just have it all together. The single mums especially I see them as these power lords. For me I have 1 baby and just don't know how other mums do more than 1. I always use the excuse that I have no help, I get no sleep, I do all the housework cooking etc. But blah blah blah big deal this is motherhood at least I get to be a sahm.

    I don't go out often as DD can be a handful so I have to choose my days when I have the right energy and frame of mind. Other mums just get on with it even with 3 or 4 kids they don't sit and whine like I do. They don't assess their energy levels for the day they just get on with it.

    I have no purpose in life, no direction. I had to leave home study because I couldn't cope with a baby smashing on my laptop and ripping up my papers. (I have no one to look after her) DH said no he is way to busy at work.

    I have no special gifts!! I see other mums so good at baking, sewing even blogging. So many mums make money blogging.
    I can't paint, I can't draw and my grammar isn't the best in the world so it's not like I'll ever be a writer.

    I thought I was a great cook but MasterChef has shattered that belief.
    What the hell am I here for? What am I going to show my daughter?

    Growing up my mum was the best cook, she made my clothes and birthday cakes plus was a singer on day time tv. She was perfect she was popular I thought she was just wow. What will my daughter think of me? Haha "my mum is awesome she stays home, hates people, is a loner can't bake, sew, sing or dance" I want to be just like her!?????

    I am a hermit. I have no "real" friends and the ones I do either live 1 hour away or have 4 kids and seem to be on another level with me just because I only have the 1.

    Aaahhhhhhh feel a bit better now. Needed to get that out. Hope I don't offend anyone with my post. It's me not you

  2. #2
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    Default I am useless :(

    Just because they LOOK like they have it together, doesn't mean they do.
    Loco, honey, you are being too hard on yourself. We ALL have down days where we go 'what's the point?', look at the thread I started yesterday titled 'Meh'.
    I have 2 kids, and sometimes, especially at the moment, I have to put on a face and just do it, fake it til you make it as they say.

    You are not useless.

    (my battery is about to die so I can't write what I really want to so its brief ATM, sorry )

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    LoCo  (22-08-2012)

  4. #3
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    Just because they look like they have it all together doesn't mean they do. I find i often look at other mums and feel like a failure in comparison, they appear more in control, more rested etc but then i have been told i look like i have it together as well and i do not - i feel much like you.

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    LoCo  (22-08-2012)

  6. #4
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    Default I am useless :(

    Big hugs to you LoCo! I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. This mummy business is tough work and I know I feel overwhelmed at times, more so now I have my second. Is there any way you can take some time just for you? Even just to get out of the house and enjoy a child-free cup of coffee? Do you have access to occasional care? I know for me a bit of child free time always recharges my batteries. Also I play hockey every week and I feel like a new person afterwards. It's great just to go and smash a ball and just be me, not mum or wife or teacher (work life). It makes me feel so refreshed even though I'm worn out! Are you interested in sport? I found it to be a great way to make friends.

    I'm so sorry that you are going through a rough time and apologies if I have not been of any help. Just wanted you to know that someone is listening and cares that you are doing it tough xxxx

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    LoCo  (22-08-2012)

  8. #5
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    I think most mum's just 'fake it until they make it' really. I remember looking at mum's who had a few kids and would think 'how, how do they make this work and have it look so easy?' and here I was struggling to get out of the house.
    Now I'm a mum to three little ones and go to uni part time and my husband works long hours and I have had comments about me making it look easy but I most certainly have my days where it just does not flow at all. Last week my 6 year old did no homework because we had no time for it, I wake up at night stressed about everything I need to do and wonder how I'm going to manage it all and then morning comes and I drag my butt out of bed and I hit the day full steam ahead and get to the end and still only managed to do half of what I needed to.
    I don't have any 'fantastic skills' either like other mum's seem to. But I'm me and my kids love me. I grew up in a family of 'ordinary' women...SAHM's with no special skills and I can only hope to be half as good as a mother as my mum was to us, and then my mum turns around and tells me she is in awe of me cause she couldn't do what I'm doing and thinks I'm so much better at this mothering gig than she ever was.

    Don't be so hard on yourself. It gets easier to go out the older they get so take comfort in that and just enjoy being a mum to your baby.

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    LoCo  (22-08-2012)

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    Default I am useless :(

    Sorry no time for much of a post but you sound exactly as I did before I was diagnosed with pnd- esp the part about having to asses energy levels and feeling useless. Please forgive if I'm way off but having a look at a symptom list could be the best move you make. I wish someone had noticed it in me sooner but I put on pretty good show of being fine. please pm me if you'd like to chat. Again, apologies if I'm wrong but please don't disregard the idea instantly. I never thought it would happen to me.

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    LoCo  (22-08-2012)

  12. #7
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    SuperGranny is offline Worlds best grandma! Winner 2012 - Most Helpful Member
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    hi loco. be gentle with yourself, outward appearances can be deceiving. It sounds like you had some sort of supermum, and you are comparing yourself with her. Dont do that, there are always many differences between people. hugs, Marie.

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    I am sure your 'gift' is the love you provide your children. That is the best special talent you could have. I hope you feel better soon.

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    LoCo  (22-08-2012)

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    Default I am useless :(

    Oh honey.... There have been times in the last year that I could have written that post! I have to duck out for DD2s needles, yuk, but will be back to PM you later!

    One thing my DH has constantly encouraged me with when I've felt like I have nothing to give my girls is that I can show them when everything is falling to pieces and I feel like I'm failing at EVERYTHING, not to give up, to keep going. That way I am at least teaching my girls not to give up as soon as something they attempt to do doesn't go as 'expected'.

    If your LO is going to bed at night with a smile on her face, then you're doing amazing!

    I'll be back later.

    A.
    xx

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    LoCo  (22-08-2012)

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    Default I am useless :(

    Ooh loco don't be so hard on yourself, i think you are lovely and so nice and such a caring loving mum and wife. I've said before we sound so similar in so many ways. I also feel like I suck at everything, so I know the feeling. Honestly who cares if you can sew? Agree with PPs that some kid-free time is really helpful.


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    LoCo  (22-08-2012)


 

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