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  1. #81
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    I really have no idea how this would be handled in my house.

    I think I wouldn't really care, and would actually be secretly excited that I might end up with a stylish son who cares about fashion and such (because we'd relate a lot better to each other than if he was all about cars and footy and other mundane boy stuff I know nothing about)... but I'm quite liberal in my views, and it's not something my family generally shares. I'm the "greenie hippy," but I'm not even nearly as left as I could be... it's just that everyone else is more conservative in their views.

    I know DP probably wouldn't be for it. He'd be trying to crack down on it. This wouldn't be helped by his family - his mother is even against DD breastfeeding dolls and the fact that she knows the actual anatomical names for body parts... lol. So I mean, she'd probably have a heart attack if she saw her little grandson in a dress. Not that would stop me... but it does make it harder when everyone is criticising your parenting... and they do it on just GENERAL stuff... not even stuff that seems as "extreme" as having a little boy who wears princess outfits.

    I'd like to think I wouldn't much care...

    But then even when I think about, I try and get DD to wear shorts and pants more than dresses and skirts because they're just far more practical for little kids who get messy and run around and stuff. She has dresses that she'd happily live in... but I mostly pull out her shorts instead. Just more practical for kids. So I might just discourage it based on that alone...

    I really have no idea. I think ideally, I would just let him be himself... but I don't live in a world that makes doing that terribly easy...

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  3. #82
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    Default If your son loved wearing dresses...

    I don't know what to say. That is a really hard decision.

    I read your OP and thought 'no way' (I personally wouldn't) around the house, yes (dress ups) but out and about, no.

    But after reading the rest of your posts I can see the dilemma.

    I agree with you. He is 6, not 16, and IF it is a phase, IF he does grow out of it.. He will ask why you allowed him & be embarrassed. It doesn't sound like a phase though, but at 6 I think it's a bit hard to know how he will feel in 10years time/the rest of his life.

    I think, I would get to a point (especially after the 'I wish I was a girl' comment) where I'd just let him.

    Special occasions/outings I'd ask him to wear boys clothes (I'm only thinking photos last a lifetime and IF he does 'grow out of it' he may not want his future girlfriends/wife/friends seeing them) but again if he insisted I guess we'd talk about it.

    Can you start small? Taking him to the local corner shop or something in his choice of clothes and see how he feels about it.

    I don't think I'm much help sorry.

    One day we will be a world where people will be able to wear what they want & not be criticized..

    If I see you out and about I will tell him he looks wonderful (which I'm sure he does)

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  5. #83
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    You know what prompted this thread? The one about bikinis! We were in K-Mart the other night choosing swimmers. He went straight for a bikini and I said "No, but I wouldn't let your sister wear that either!".

    We settled on a vivid pink and purple rashie and boardies from the girls' section. He is thrilled to bits .

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  7. #84
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    Default If your son loved wearing dresses...

    Quote Originally Posted by lambjam View Post
    Yes, I agree. I will not tolerate the notion that he can't wear pink or purple polos, ridiculous. Pink and purple feature heavily in men's fashion these days.
    Yes, I couldn't agree more.
    Dh left for work this morning rocking a very flattering pink shirt under his suit.
    With matching socks.
    Dh has many pink and purple t-shirts, he also has many blue, green and black ones.
    I personally think the pink and purples look very fashionable and bold and a bit sexy if I might say
    The day I met him he was wearing a pink and yellow shirt. It's who he is and I love every bit of him, including his style.
    I prefer darker colors like blue and grey on myself.. It's quite frustrating how "Boy colors" are acceptable by society on women but "Girl Colors" are seen as a "Un acceptable" color on men.
    It's very narrow minded.

    Dh gets many comments when he wears a particular business shirt that is purple.
    Dh is very masculine, but he also takes quite a lot of pride in his appearance and simply doesn't care what others think when he wears "Feminine" colors

    Personally, if I had a son that wanted to wear dresses I would first find out if it was just the color of the dresses that he liked, or the entire look/feel of the dress.
    If it was just the colors, the pretty patterns etc.
    then I would do as you have done and try him on some pink/purple polo's, you can get many boys/men's t-shirts with flowers etc on them too.
    Internet shopping might be the way to go, even buying some fabric and getting in contact with a dress maker to put together some clothes for him, if your not good with a needle and thread like myself
    If it came down to him just wanting to wear dresses, I have to admit I would have that fear of him being a target, however I wouldn't want to hold him back on expressing himself.
    It is a tough one.
    I think I would just have to put my fears aside.
    I would much rather my son had people around him that accepted him for who he was instead of my son covering up his true self in order to fit in to society.
    It wouldn't be a easy road (bulling) but I would hate for him to grow up not knowing himself.
    I hope that made sense.
    Last edited by Liddybugs; 21-08-2012 at 14:06.

  8. #85
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    Personally i would allow it as a dress up thing at home, but when going out dress ups go away and regular clothing is worn, just like DD likes to wear her pirate costume at but if we go out then she wears her regular clothing.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lambjam View Post
    You know what prompted this thread? The one about bikinis! We were in K-Mart the other night choosing swimmers. He went straight for a bikini and I said "No, but I wouldn't let your sister wear that either!".

    We settled on a vivid pink and purple rashie and boardies from the girls' section. He is thrilled to bits .
    Oh god, I love him!

  10. #87
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    Another possibility - have you looked into any drama/art groups etc. where he might be able to participate in making costumes/clothing etc?

    It might be tricky to find something that suits him perfectly - especially if you're not in a big city - but my reasoning is this:
    even if you don't want him wearing things in public that he might be teased for, it could be great for his confidence to have a space where his interests are not only accepted but rewarded. Being able to contribute to something (eg. designing costumes for a play) could help him to build pride in his talents, and also receive praise/admiration etc. from others outside the family.

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  12. #88
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    Quote Originally Posted by Renn View Post
    Another possibility - have you looked into any drama/art groups etc. where he might be able to participate in making costumes/clothing etc?

    It might be tricky to find something that suits him perfectly - especially if you're not in a big city - but my reasoning is this:
    even if you don't want him wearing things in public that he might be teased for, it could be great for his confidence to have a space where his interests are not only accepted but rewarded. Being able to contribute to something (eg. designing costumes for a play) could help him to build pride in his talents, and also receive praise/admiration etc. from others outside the family.
    This is a lovely idea. He is desperate to learn how to sew; I am teaching him some hand sewing for now and will make sure he learns more as he improves. He does ballet and loves the costumes, but of course the ones he wears are never quite as pretty as the girls' ones . Theatre is a good idea, he could really thrive in that environment.

  13. #89
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    Quote Originally Posted by lambjam View Post
    ... would you let him?

    DS2 is 6 and 1/2, and he loves dresses, princesses, ballet, sewing, everything pink and pretty.

    He has many beautiful dress-ups and tutus, necklaces and hair accessories, but he only wears these at home. My reasoning was that I didn't want him teased as he would almost certainly be if he wore them in public, and that if he "outgrew" his current tastes he might not appreciate the reminders from his peers.

    It's become clear to us that this is him; he has fabulous taste and really appreciates the beauty in different fabrics, styles of dress, matching accessories. He is not going to "grow out of it" any more than another boy would outgrow his love of cars, balls or Lego. His face lights up in Alannah Hill like another child's might at a playground.

    I find myself questioning my decision to not let him wear dresses outside of the house. Why? I wouldn't stop a girl from wearing clothes from the boys' section if that was her preference. Is it for fear of teasing and bullying? Because I wouldn't apply that logic to anything else... "Best not to wear your glasses honey, you might be teased"... "Don't tell people at school your grandfather is Greek, you might be bullied"... No, in these circumstances we address the bully's behaviour, not the target's.

    I've ordered him some beautiful pink and purple polos and tees from Ralph Lauren and think these worn with shorts might suffice. But I still question my reasoning... have I really accepted him if I continue to look for a compromise?
    Have not read one single reply (10 pages it too long) so forgive me if this has been said.

    If that were my son, Id go to spotlight and let him choose some fabric and patterns and let him make his own clothing from it. If he has an interest in fashion, support it. Some of the best designers are male!
    I would assume its less the fact that its girls clothes and more the fact that girls clothes are more 'fun'! Flowing material and sequins and shiny details etc.

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    Default If your son loved wearing dresses...

    Sorry i have no advice but he sounds like an awesome little boy! He might be Australia's next young designer!

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