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  1. #61
    missybubble's Avatar
    missybubble is offline I'm a strange one, but I'm good at it :)
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    Default If your son loved wearing dresses...

    Such a hard one. If I had a son I wouldn't care what colours he liked or if he wanted to wear dresses etc but I'm not sure about going out in public in a dress only cos of what others might say. Not that I'd care what they think but I wouldn't want him to be upset by it I don't know, maybe if he was aware that people might stare and say things and he didn't mind then I would be ok with it.

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    Default Re: If your son loved wearing dresses...

    Quote Originally Posted by Ffrenchknickers View Post
    They had some maroony colored ones there but they werent true skinny jeans, they were a bit daggy. He has a really nice pair of blue billabong ones that fit so nicely but they didn't have other colours. Alot of the slightly older boys are buying the women's jayjays ones but they are still a touch too big for ds. Thanks

    We only have country target!! Bit limited!
    Have you tried Pumpkin Patch online store? Last time i was in the shop they had some pink jeans.

    This is really a tough question. My son has pink and flowery outfits and people mistake him for a girl all the time, or they raise their eyebrow when i say he's a boy. But he's only so little and i'm always with him. It would be hard to think about the possibility that he may be teased or bullied for what he wears and i can't be there to protect him. I'm not sure what i would do

  3. #63
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    roz2288- dress and raise your children as YOU see fit. And you are entitled to an option. Am so sick and tired of peoples opinions being shot down.

    OP- tricky! I have a 2 yo boy and currently growing another boy. I would love my boys to be into fashion as I love it too- dresses in public at six years old? I am not sure to be honest. People would judge- whether it is right or wrong they would- and I am not sure I would want my sons to go through that? I am not sure. I wish you the best with it as like I said- it's a tricky one!

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  5. #64
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    it is a tricky one...and I have not had to deal with this with my DS.

    The only thing close is very recent. He was desperate for a mohawk, has been asking for years.

    I finally said yes and let him have a lot of say in how it looked. I was very unsure of his final look, but he loved it, so i let him go for it.

    Anyway, he got lots of good feedback and 2 negative...and for the next few days, would not wear it "up".

    He then asked me what i thought would look good, still having a mohawk, but changing a little.

    So, we made it a bit narrower and took it down in length (so it was not so high). He still loved it, and then when he went out, it became a non issue.

    So, i guess, i would talk to him, give him a say and let him do as he wants. I love the pink/purple shirts idea...but, i would let him chose them as he is ready. If he gets a bad time, talk to him and let him know that we should not hide himself to please others but you understand the tricky balance between fitting in and being ourselves. Help with advice if he wants it.

    We are here to guide our kids...while supporting them to be themselves. It can be nerve wracking watching them figure out who they are, but such an amazing privilege to love them through it.

  6. #65
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    Default If your son loved wearing dresses...

    Quote Originally Posted by lambjam View Post
    ... would you let him?

    DS2 is 6 and 1/2, and he loves dresses, princesses, ballet, sewing, everything pink and pretty.

    He has many beautiful dress-ups and tutus, necklaces and hair accessories, but he only wears these at home. My reasoning was that I didn't want him teased as he would almost certainly be if he wore them in public, and that if he "outgrew" his current tastes he might not appreciate the reminders from his peers.

    It's become clear to us that this is him; he has fabulous taste and really appreciates the beauty in different fabrics, styles of dress, matching accessories. He is not going to "grow out of it" any more than another boy would outgrow his love of cars, balls or Lego. His face lights up in Alannah Hill like another child's might at a playground.

    I find myself questioning my decision to not let him wear dresses outside of the house. Why? I wouldn't stop a girl from wearing clothes from the boys' section if that was her preference. Is it for fear of teasing and bullying? Because I wouldn't apply that logic to anything else... "Best not to wear your glasses honey, you might be teased"... "Don't tell people at school your grandfather is Greek, you might be bullied"... No, in these circumstances we address the bully's behaviour, not the target's.

    I've ordered him some beautiful pink and purple polos and tees from Ralph Lauren and think these worn with shorts might suffice. But I still question my reasoning... have I really accepted him if I continue to look for a compromise?
    Lambjam, have you sat him down and talked about what my happen if he wore his dresses out? Is he aware that narrow minded people might tease him? I know he is young but maybe you could allow him to decide while letting him know that you fully support his choice to wear whatever the hell he wants to wear. You'd have to be prepared to stand up for him which I'm sure you would. It's got to be tough, the idea of letting him be an example, but he might be more accepted than you think. I would let him if he wanted to and here is why.
    I have a 12 year old nephew who goes to a very rough public school in western Sydney. He has a pink school bag, a pierced ear and alternates between pink, purple and diamanté studs each day. His shoe laces are pink, he has pink caps. He wears necklaces and bangles and his hair is longish. It's not the same as dresses but he certainly stands out. He doesn't get teased anymore because he simply doesn't care what people think. He is confident, outgoing and has such a force of personality and individuality that his peers respect his difference. I don't know how common this is but it's not what I would expect in the school environment he is in. He is also on the footy team and in dance group. He's an amazing example of a great kid with his own style.

  7. #66
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    Default If your son loved wearing dresses...

    Quote Originally Posted by River Song View Post
    it is a tricky one...and I have not had to deal with this with my DS.

    The only thing close is very recent. He was desperate for a mohawk, has been asking for years.

    I finally said yes and let him have a lot of say in how it looked. I was very unsure of his final look, but he loved it, so i let him go for it.

    Anyway, he got lots of good feedback and 2 negative...and for the next few days, would not wear it "up".

    He then asked me what i thought would look good, still having a mohawk, but changing a little.

    So, we made it a bit narrower and took it down in length (so it was not so high). He still loved it, and then when he went out, it became a non issue.

    So, i guess, i would talk to him, give him a say and let him do as he wants. I love the pink/purple shirts idea...but, i would let him chose them as he is ready. If he gets a bad time, talk to him and let him know that we should not hide himself to please others but you understand the tricky balance between fitting in and being ourselves. Help with advice if he wants it.

    We are here to guide our kids...while supporting them to be themselves. It can be nerve wracking watching them figure out who they are, but such an amazing privilege to love them through it.
    My DH has a Mohawk- love them

  8. #67
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    I would let him. I know what it's like to challenge societies beliefs, it would be hypocritical of me to stop my child being a pioneer in gender stereotyping.

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    Default If your son loved wearing dresses...

    Quote Originally Posted by Thermolicious View Post
    I would let him. I know what it's like to challenge societies beliefs, it would be hypocritical of me to stop my child being a pioneer in gender stereotyping.
    I believe I would too, with my full support.

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  11. #69
    lambjam's Avatar
    lambjam is offline Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!
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    Thank you everyone, for such thoughtful responses. I thought I might get a mixture of "Of course, he should wear whatever he wants, you repressive monster!" and "Never! Don't you know he'll catch the gay?", but most people have understood my conflict between wanting to encourage him yet wanting to protect him. Thank you

    Quote Originally Posted by roz2288 View Post
    Each parent to there own choices
    But that's the thing, this isn't about my choices... it's about his.

    Quote Originally Posted by faroutbrusselsprout View Post
    LJ - Your DS is amazing! Have you spoken to him about wearing what he wants outside the home? Does HE wamt too? Does he request it? Is he aware of the ramifications? How aware is he of his amazing sense of style?
    Thank you! Yes, he is a bit fabulous. He would like to wear dresses outside the home, but yes he is aware of the ramifications. When we go out he wears "boy" clothes, but usually takes a doll and a pink handbag; he's acutely aware of how other children respond to this, painfully so. But... it hasn't stopped him!

    The thing that broke my heart was about a week ago he was talking about how much he loved my outfit, then he said "I wish I was a girl". I asked him why and he said "So I could wear lovely things like you do all the time".

    Quote Originally Posted by bumMum View Post
    Maybe you could encourage him in guys fashion. Personally I don't know anything about fashion (your son probably knows more than me) but I have male friends who dress awesomely.. and spend an absolute fortune on skinny jeans, dressy shirts and shoes..

    Sorry to ramble.. but yeah do you think he would enjoy going to some men's clothes shops, getting his hair done and maybe getting some jewellery?
    Yes! This is what I'm attempting with the Ralph Lauren tops. As someone pointed out, the really progressive children's clothing tends to cost a bomb .

    Quote Originally Posted by Clarabelle View Post
    Oh and on the colour issue - I can't see boys being bullied simply for wearing pink - I could totally see my eldest, particularly, wearing pink or purple or something and he and his mates wouldn't bat an eyelid. I think a boy wearing a dress is a different issue altogether.
    Yes, I agree. I will not tolerate the notion that he can't wear pink or purple polos, ridiculous. Pink and purple feature heavily in men's fashion these days.

  12. #70
    lambjam's Avatar
    lambjam is offline Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thermolicious View Post
    I would let him. I know what it's like to challenge societies beliefs, it would be hypocritical of me to stop my child being a pioneer in gender stereotyping.
    I just saw this. I suppose I'm reluctant to allow him to be a pioneer because he's six. If he was sixteen, I'd happily take him shopping and give him my credit card. But at six, does he have the social awareness to understand what being a pioneer is? To make that choice?


 

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