How did you tell your childs father that you were leaving them?

**katatonic** · 19-08-2012 23:59

I won't add details as this thread may be stalked or deleted later due to privacy issues :/

Reasons why you left and the reason you gave them would be appreciated in your responses. Thank you!

**HarvestMoon** · 20-08-2012 00:08

He was abusive. I had no idea how to tell him i was leaving. I was terrified that he would smash all my stuff, the house and me. In the end i had to let him know. Our lease was ending and i needed him out of the house so i told him we were moving interstate. He took it surprisingly well. He was of the impression that we were still together and thought that he would be joining us at some stage. I just left him with that thought. I had no idea what else to do.

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**Ishtyban** · 20-08-2012 06:38

i told him a couple of days ago..
I said...I am not happy and I want a separation.

He did not take me seriously...so I listed all the reasons.

Then he cried...and he got it.

**Bonkers** · 20-08-2012 07:08

i did not tell him because my lawyer told me that would a bad idea, he was abusive. i booked 2 tickets to another state and when he went to work after having ago at me and shoving me i took our kids and left. i do not suggest you do this. i suggest if abusive you call up the womans refuge. they are very helpful, if you have no car they will send a taxi. i wish i did this now. instead i got summoned back to this state away from my family.

**sweetseven** · 20-08-2012 07:28

Mine was an odd one. It took me ten years to finally do so, and culminated as follows.

My mother wanted me to move in with her, and my husband didn't want to. I said that was fine, we would go without him. Then two months later, he turned up and said, "so where do I sleep?" and thus I had to make room for him also. That was my second failed attempt to split.

When things got worse, I started trying to look for alternatives, but found I wasn't eligable for anything until I moved out, and I couldn't move out without the help that I wasn't eligable for. It was a catch 22.

One evening after a violent incident, I decided he was going to move out, so when he went to work, I packed up all his clothes into boxes, intending on dropping them at his best friends house and then ringing him at work and telling him to go to his friends place ... but it took me too long to pack them all up, and I thought it would be rude to turn up at 11pm to drop off boxes of clothes, so I chickened out. When he got home and found all his clothes neatly folded and put into boxes, he thanked me for folding them. That was my third failed attempt.

Then my mother's XH sold the house out from under us, and we were suddenly homeless. I told my husband that I was going to get a place just for myself and the children, and he could ask his friends if he could stay with them.

At this point I applied to SPP and stayed with a friend for four days until we managed to get emergency housing. About three months later, husband came to visit the kids, then stayed the night, and the next night, and the night after that. At which point I mentioned that his name wasn't on the lease so he wasn't allowed to stay for too long. He was most offended and we didn't hear from him for another two months. So my fouth attempt was successful.