My neighbour from 2 doors down has just left my house upset. On Friday she received an invitation addressed to her and her husband to attend her nephew's wedding to be held in January. They have a 22 year old son with severe autism. He rocks, moans, is not independently toiletted, and has limited speech. He's a great young man, very gentle and usually compliant. I mind him twice a week so that his mother can run errands and attend her bible study group. We usually sit outside with the baby - he loves to swing her gently in her jolly jumper or he brings his carpentry set and plays contentedly with his hammer, wood and nails and he's just a gem. He is never aggressive. There's an excellent chance that my baby's first word will be his name as she just adores him.
My neighbour called her sister (mother of the groom) to ask if her son was invited as his name was not on the invitation. MOG called her son and the answer was no. Apparently it has been a huge source of arguing between the bride and groom and her family. The groom wants his cousin to come as he has grown up with him and is used to him attending all family occasions. His bride is adamant she does not want him there ruining her day, interrupting the service with his noises or having to worry about his unpredictable behaviour. The groom caved to her and her family requests that his cousin be excluded. There will be quite a few other younger children at the service and some over 12s at the reception. All of the other cousins have been invited and were named on the addressed invitations.
The young man regularly attends Sunday services at the church where the wedding will be held. He has been to weddings before and apart from his noises and rocking he behaves just like any other member of the congregation.
My neighbour and her husband are so upset. Their son has never been excluded from a family occasion. She's unsure if they will attend; right now the insult is very raw. If they do attend she asked if I would have him for the afternoon which will not be a problem.
So, the question I pose is this - her day, her way? Discriminatory or a reasonable request? Would you go or not?