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  1. #91
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    Quote Originally Posted by lambjam View Post
    I think you've misunderstood, she doesn't have children. And I've never been offended by what she's said, just disagreed with it.
    I think in your OP you implied it really annoys you...

    Ok do she isn't a parent but refers to other people's 'lifestyle choices'. Well having children is certainly a choice for some in developed countries yes, but not so much in developing and third world regions where access to adequate contraception is limited or absent.

    Humans have a strong biological drive -as do all species - to procreate. Males have a strong urge to spread their seed so to speak. Females to raise young. This often results in an 'unplanned' child. Lifestyle choice might apply to wealthier countries, but certainly not across the board.
    Last edited by Ellewood; 19-08-2012 at 11:48.

  2. #92
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackEyedPea View Post
    I think in your OP you implied it really annoys you...
    I think I may have been misunderstood by a couple of posters. I said I wanted to "jump up and down and rant a little", by which I meant I wanted to call her on it and have it out, but so far I have bitten my tongue. She's my friend and I care for her feelings; I think her words comes from a place where she's feeling hurt and hard done by and I don't want to make that any worse. That's why I brought it up here instead.

    I wouldn't say it annoys me, I think she's mistaken.
    Last edited by lambjam; 19-08-2012 at 11:54.

  3. #93
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    I actually think it is a lifestyle choice, and this is from someone who, for about three years, has had the bio clock ticking VERY loudly and insistantly demanding I have children.
    I can't have children naturally, so my partner and I choose to go and do the IVF, etc etc, for me to have one.
    It has absolutely nothing to do with me reproducing to be a benefit to society so that it'll be sustained. If that were the case, I'd go and adopt a child, which would cost, from my understanding, roughly the same as IVF will.
    I choose to have a child, because I want to experience a full pregnancy, want to go through labour, and give it multiple cuddles and kisses and luvs, and bond with the baby the day it's born.

    It has nothing to do with wanting to raise it to have the same morals and values as DP and I, nor to be productive member of society. As I said, if that were the case, I'd go and adopt, because at present, the world is getting to the stage of over population as it is, and I CHOOSE to add to that for my own selfish reasons. The human race will not go extinct because even half of the worlds population choose not to breed, it will continue on as it always has.

    And for the people who used animals as an example(and I know this is coming off horrible, I don't mean it to, I'm just terrible at wording things), when an animal population becomes too much for their environment to sustain comfortably and for long periods of time, they will either stop breeding, or start killing their young. Over population is just as bad for the environment that you're born into, as in resources, food sources, water, etc, than under population. The worlds resources have already been stretched incredibly thin, and the more we breed, the thinner it will get.
    But still, it's a selfish lifestyle choice for me to have kids, and I genuinely don't care, because I WANT one. If I were having a baby for the good of society and humanity, I wouldn't have one.


    Edit: Yes, it is a life style choice. Yes, I also think in regards to the work force, people should be entitled to the same benefits, and luckilly we are, they're just generally called different things.
    Last edited by Jennaisme; 19-08-2012 at 11:57.

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  5. #94
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    I agree with her whole heartedly, i think she s spot on it is a life style choice if you choose to have kids you choose to put them first above all else, if you choose to stay home and do that its a life style choice if you choose to go out and work its a life style choice it is all a choice about how you want to raise them.

    For DH and i right now we have mde the life style choice for him to work away 4 on 1 of we have done that to pay the bills and pay of our morgage and give DD the life she need and wants and we want to give her.

    Absolutely its a choice no two ways about it

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    Default Re: Are children a "lifestyle choice"?

    I wonder if the issue is how an individual defines 'lifestyle choice'.

    My personal definition is when an individual makes a conscious decision to follow a path which impacts on the daily aspects of their life. I dont seperate whether it was voluntary or involuntary circumstances which lead you to the decision. For me, my lifestyle choices can be simple what food to eat, if I exercise or as complex as what work I perform, if I choose to rent or buy a house.

    I do believe that you make a conscious decision, a choice to start a family. You then have to make decisions on how you will raise a family, whether you will work and use childcare or stay at home.

    Some of our choices have to be based on external factors (finances, what choices our workplace provides) but we as individuals ultimately make a decision to what path we take.

    Yes for me I do believe that having children is a lifestyle choice. But I believe the same of most decisions in our lifes. I dont believe that people should be disadvantaged for making their lifestyle choices .

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    Is coupling up considered a lifestyle choice? I didn't technically have to find someone to share my life with but I could say that biology has driven me to it. It's in our nature. Same could go for kids.

    I think labelling having children as a 'lifestyle' can trivialise its importance. And perhaps trivialises the biological need that leads us to it. Is it really a choice when we have the biological urge to do it? Not that everyone has that need.

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    I agree with what Girl X said.

    It seems that Lambjam's friend resents the fact that those with children get "special concessions/leave/tax breaks" that childless people do not. Years ago when the thought of having children was not at all on my radar, I thought like this too! (my views have changed with age, marriage, life experience and now ttc). Perhaps there is a perception that having children is the "be all and end all" of some women's lives, so Lambjam's friend feels envious that those women get time off to pursue something they really want (I'm only guessing here, don't jump on me). As we all know - raising children, although it can be a joy, is a 24hr job, not a fleeting pastime!

    I can see that with the way our society works, things like paid maternity leave are there so that working people can raise a family (that in turn, will contribute to society). How many working women would opt to have a child in this day & age if it meant getting booted out of the workplace, no financial support or option to return?

    I happen to work in an environment where all employees have a degree of flexibility, not just parents. A good choice! That sort of option is there for everyone to take up.

    I would also think that women who opt to remain childless have potential for higher earnings & accrue a greater amount of Long Service Leave...where they are free to pursue hobbies or travel!

    The choice to have children is supported by workplace laws because it has a benefit to society.

    (Sorry if this is a bit muddled, but it is hard to articulate my thoughts!)
    Last edited by Falkor; 19-08-2012 at 13:23.

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  12. #98
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bongley View Post
    Is coupling up considered a lifestyle choice? I didn't technically have to find someone to share my life with but I could say that biology has driven me to it. It's in our nature. Same could go for kids.

    I think labelling having children as a 'lifestyle' can trivialise its importance. And perhaps trivialises the biological need that leads us to it. Is it really a choice when we have the biological urge to do it? Not that everyone has that need.
    Good point. When viewed in that light, it could be considered akin to calling homosexuality a lifestyle choice.
    Last edited by lambjam; 19-08-2012 at 13:43.

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    No, having children is not a "lifestyle choice". What an incredibly arrogant way to view the next generation. I don't think there would be many who would share her view though... So, she has no children?

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    choice

       [chois] Show IPA noun, adjective, choic·er,choic·est.

    noun1.an act or instance of choosing; selection: Her choice of acomputer was made after months of research. His parents werenot happy with his choice of friends.

    2.the right, power, or opportunity to choose; option: The childhad no choice about going to school.

    3.the person or thing chosen or eligible to be chosen: Thisbook is my choice. He is one of many choices for the award.

    4.an alternative: There is another choice.

    5.an abundance or variety from which to choose: a wide choiceof candidates.




    I genuinely hope everyone in Australia has the choice on whether to have children or not.

    life·style

       [lahyf-stahyl] Show IPA

    noun1.the habits, attitudes, tastes, moral standards, economiclevel, etc., that together constitute the mode of living of anindividual or group.

    -----------------------------------

    My view that having children is a lifestyle choice is not made from arrogance, it's made from the knowledge that having children will change my life. It will be an alternate way of living, different to how I live now, what I spend my money on, who I socialise with. I choose​ to have children.




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