Btmac and sarelou. Girls I really do feel for you. I must say my DH was a little like that in the beginning. I think you need to sit down and have a big talk to them and explain exactly how you feel. Often men don't actually realise how you feel, or what you want. I spoke to DH numerous times about this stuff and he definitely improved. Now we have 2 with a small age gap I have to say that he is fantastic. But men being men, if we don't say anything, they think we are happy with the status quo and will happily play the Xbox while we do all the work because they think we are happy to do it! DH and I talk a lot now and negotiate a lot too. For instance he played golf sat morning so when he came home I left the kids with him (DD 2 and DS 10 months)and went off to the movies. Bliss! I also find that he can sleep through the baby crying at night so I have to physically wake him and tell him it's his turn and he needs to get up and settle the baby. I find with my DH if I tell him what he needs to do he is happy to do it, he's just not great at taking the initiative before he is asked. I think it's generally a man thing!