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    Default paying for a birth

    Ok, i'm hoping some of you girls may have read links/stories etc (especially aimed at dads?) about the pro's-con's of paying for a birth?

    admittedly i'm more interested in the homebirth side of birth, than public/private, but i'll take what i can get.

    Because apparently i'm not very good at explaining why for *me*, i'd rather fork out the $3K for my birth, than *try* to get into the hospital program...*hope* i don't get risked out at any stage, *hope* that everything goes to the hospitals timelines, and then *hope* that i get respected the way i want.
    while having the knowledge i do have cause me to feel anxious about being undermined.


    [and no, not pregnant. just starting the 'this is why my way is right' debate EARLY ]

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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Default paying for a birth

    Quote Originally Posted by Gandalf View Post
    Ok, i'm hoping some of you girls may have read links/stories etc (especially aimed at dads?) about the pro's-con's of paying for a birth?

    admittedly i'm more interested in the homebirth side of birth, than public/private, but i'll take what i can get.

    Because apparently i'm not very good at explaining why for *me*, i'd rather fork out the $3K for my birth, than *try* to get into the hospital program...*hope* i don't get risked out at any stage, *hope* that everything goes to the hospitals timelines, and then *hope* that i get respected the way i want.
    while having the knowledge i do have cause me to feel anxious about being undermined.


    [and no, not pregnant. just starting the 'this is why my way is right' debate EARLY ]
    Well I had DS2 though a hospy program, went well, no real complaints. We freebirthed dd because well we didn't want anyone else there but if we had of gone with a midwife it would of been a private one, mainly because I wanted someone working for me rather than for a hospital with permission to care for me as long as I didn't deviate from this narrow line, like you I didn't want to risk being dumped at the last minute. I guess maybe explain to him that it's a continuity of care thing? I'm sure there are a few things around about CoC creating the best outcomes for mothers and babies.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Thermolicious View Post
    Well I had DS2 though a hospy program, went well, no real complaints. We freebirthed dd because well we didn't want anyone else there but if we had of gone with a midwife it would of been a private one, mainly because I wanted someone working for me rather than for a hospital with permission to care for me as long as I didn't deviate from this narrow line, like you I didn't want to risk being dumped at the last minute. I guess maybe explain to him that it's a continuity of care thing? I'm sure there are a few things around about CoC creating the best outcomes for mothers and babies.
    his last baby was born through a homebirth via hospital-program model, which is why he's not understanding why i'm not happy to go through that one, because it was free and she received continuity.

    But it wasn't her first baby, and it'll be mine, so i think that the 'risks' as such are higher for me (ie. my family have a history of *long* second stages - and i do NOT want to transfer just because it takes me 3hours to push a baby out, rather than the 1.5 the hospital-homebirth program will allow me).


    Just trying to find stuff to explain it better. not like its going to be relevant for another 2 years.

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    You know more than i do about the hospital side of things, but... "hypothetically"... you DO have friends that know how to assist. What is stopping you from having your baby at home with your family completely without hospital involvement? It often happens that way accidentally anyway, and you are not far from a hospital IF something goes wrong.

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    When you say pay, do you mean a private midwife for a homebirth or an obstetrician?

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    Shouldn't he just want to support the chose that right for you and the choice that makes you the most comfortable about your birth? If thats a private midwife then so be it.

    Its your birth. Obviously its his too I guess, but I think its important that women can do it on their own terms with their own choices and the partners support.

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    Quote Originally Posted by WineTime View Post
    Shouldn't he just want to support the chose that right for you and the choice that makes you the most comfortable about your birth? If thats a private midwife then so be it.

    Its your birth. Obviously its his too I guess, but I think its important that women can do it on their own terms with their own choices and the partners support.
    But i think at least part of the issue for him (and OP correct me if i'm wrong) is that she's asking him to be ok with forking out a large sum of money for what in his eyes is virtually the same as what his baby-mama got for free (is that what you're saying?)
    So the question is how do you clearly explain to him the difference and why it's important to you??


 

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