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  1. #1
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    Default Has anyone been heavily pregnant (8-9 months) when in a bridal party?

    Hi everyone,

    I am a new member here, but have a question to ask.

    Has anyone been 8-9 months pregnant while in a bridal party?

    My DH has finally brought up the subject of babies and we have been discussing when the best time would be for us to start TTC. After much discussion about finances, moving house, and the best time to take maternity leave would be, we decided that we would start TTC in early 2013 and aim to have a baby at the end of 2013/beginning of 2014 (depending how many months it takes us to get pregnant.
    I am a school teacher and would like to have at least one more full school year in work before taking maternity leave, so we don't really want to start any earlier.

    Only problem is, I just realised that we are both in the bridal party at a wedding in December. I am the maid of honour, and am not sure that being 8-9 months pregnant will be the best. Of course I know the bride wouldn't really mind, but I am thinking that I may be feeling sick, I don't know how big I will be to fit in a dress, and if I am tired etc, it might not be a very enjoyable day. I have been thinking that we could maybe delay TTC so that I am only in my early months - but then I know that some people feel worse in the first few months than they do towards the end.
    The bride is my best friend and I don't want to not be up there with her.

    Does anyone have any advice, or experienced this before?
    We could Delay TTC until after the wedding so that I know that I will feel good and will be able to enjoy the week more (we are staying near the wedding for a week, as it is in the hunter valley, and we are all going to stay together instead of having to travel a few hours on the previous day).
    If we delay until after the wedding that is almost 15 months away!!! I don't think I can wait that long.

    Sorry if I am rambling, I am just trying to work out what we should do. I was so happy that my DH finally sat down and we worked out what we want to do, but now this has thrown a spanner in the works. Normally I wouldn't worry about planning around someone else, but this couple are our closest friends.

    Any advice?
    Thanks

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    Default Has anyone been heavily pregnant (8-9 months) when in a bridal party?

    If it were me later pregnancy better than early pregnancy due to morning or all day sickness. I feel horrible the whole way through but later months are def better for me. As long as the bride wouldn't mind you with a big belly on her day lol and as long as you don't go into early labour... Maybe talk to the bride about it if you can?

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    Default Has anyone been heavily pregnant (8-9 months) when in a bridal party?

    I was 81/2 months pregnant and a bridesmaid for a friend and to be honest I really enjoyed it but I was also very lucky to have a bride that was super excited about my baby and me being pregnant for the wedding....we made ALOT of jokes about going into labour during the day. The only downside was I was incredibly tired at the end of the day

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    Default Re: Has anyone been heavily pregnant (8-9 months) when in a bridal party?

    I'm 40 weeks on Tuesday and was bridesmaid at my friends wedding two weeks ago. Our dresses were made overseas a few months beforehand so we just made my measurements extra big and then got a dressmaker to fix it up a week before the wedding, it worked out really well :-)

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    Default Re: Has anyone been heavily pregnant (8-9 months) when in a bridal party?

    A little different in that I was a guest at a wedding 2 days before my due date in late feb (so it was pretty warm) and right up until the date I didn't know whether i'd be attending or not as I could have gone into labour at any time. I was glad I could wear what I wanted (ie. Flattering preggie dress) and even then I felt HUGE, boobs were ridiculous and I was getting feet swelling towards the end of the day anyways, add in standing around all day at the wedding and by 9pm I was seriously struggling!! (if if with a short dress I would hasn't been really self conscious due to feet and ankles!). I think you'd be on an adrenaline buzz if you were in the party, but probably still be tired! Would the bride be ok to have a back up in case you went into early labour? i've had several friends go at 36 weeks and one recently at 31 weeks.

    I don't think you should necessarily wait though because of the wedding, I'm going to end up with a christmas baby this year because I didn't want to think too much about trying and delaying it for convenience - I work in ivf and I'm too scared to delay as I see what can happen when people wait for the 'right time' (not that waiting a month or two in your case will make any difference at all, but you know what I mean?!) I'd rather know that I was pregnant and then deal with timing etc afterwards, but that's just me and my warped view that no one can get pregnant naturally because of where I work! All the best for your decision and ttc!

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    I was 6.5 months pregnant and was maid of honour at my sister's wedding. I definitely wasn't at the heavily pregnant stage, but I was very much showing and that made things difficult with my bridesmaid dress. I was also having to bend over a lot to fix my sister's train, etc, and that was tiring. I can imagine doing that at 9 months would be worse!

    I found the photos part between the ceremony and reception exhausting, we walked around the city for about 1.5 hours getting pictures taken and that was very tiring. Then the reception, where you are stone cold sober and everyone else was hammered... that wasn't that bad except it was just a really long night. I gave a speech and helped with the gifts and the room and getting the bride organised, etc. You are on the go from about 8am till 12am, that was hard for me. I had a lot of responsibilities tho, so if I was just a bridesmaid maybe it wouldn't have been so tiring.

    I would recommend talking to the bride about it. My pregnancy was unplanned but if I had of been planning to get pregnant I would have discussed with my sister (the bride) what was expected of me so I could gauge whether being 9 months pregnant was a good idea or not!
    Last edited by Lilahh; 18-08-2012 at 19:46.

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    Thanks everyone.

    veggiemama - the dresses that the bride is planning on ordering are about knee length (kind of 60's inspired) so yes my swollen feet and ankles would be showing.

    Also, I was kind of worried about going into early labour if I was that far along. I am only 23 so everyone thinks that I have 'plenty of time' but family history and doctors advice means that I won't be having any kids after 29-30 (which I know is still awhile away) and we want more than one child,and it could take us awhile to conceive so want to get the ball rolling ASAP now that DH is onboard.
    Maybe I will talk to the bride and see what she thinks. We weren't going to tell anyone until we actually conceived since we know that it may take awhile and we don't want pressure on us from anyone else.
    I know that she won't mind, but I might just have a chat to her anyway. I just wanted to know what other people thought and what other experiences people had had.

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    Being a maid of honor is tough work. You'll be on your feet all day, and you're supposed to help the bride with literally everything. You're effectively her personal assistant for the day!
    It's a FANTASTIC job and heaps and heaps of fun, but I know that I couldn't cope with such a full on job at 8-9 months pregnant. I could barely stand upright for more than 10 minutes let alone being on my feet and on the run all day.

    That being said, my rule has always been simple. Your family comes first above all else. Jobs, friends, recreation... And for me that means making my family what it should be.
    The timing isn't great for me to be having another baby now (I'm due 2 weeks before my 30th birthday!) and it's bad timing work wise. But it's far more important for me to have this baby than it is for me to be in the 'perfect' time in my life for another baby. I'm not sure if there's ever a perfect time anyway.

    And finally, don't forget that it can take a while to fall pregnant. I fell with DS first time, but this time has taken 6 months after a chem, and many take longer.
    So consider what's more important to you. Having a baby sooner when you know your position and what you'll be doing for the next 12 months, or delay and hope that the timing is just as good in 15 months after you've been at the wedding.

    (For the record, I would NEVER be upset with someone getting pregnant before my wedding. You can't expect someone to put their entire life on hold for your special day. It's YOUR special day, not theirs! *chuckle*).

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    Default Has anyone been heavily pregnant (8-9 months) when in a bridal party?

    I was a brides maid last month and was 8 months pregnant. It was hard because I was on my feet all day and ended up getting really intense Braxton hicks all through the reception. I was exhausted at the end of the day but it was such an amazing day and I'm so glad I could be there for my best friend.

    We were trying to plan ttc around the wedding date but she ended up changing it a couple of times so we just started ttc anyway and fell pregnant straight away

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    Default Re: Has anyone been heavily pregnant (8-9 months) when in a bridal party?

    Quote Originally Posted by Eko View Post
    Being a maid of honor is tough work. You'll be on your feet all day, and you're supposed to help the bride with literally everything. You're effectively her personal assistant for the day!
    It's a FANTASTIC job and heaps and heaps of fun, but I know that I couldn't cope with such a full on job at 8-9 months pregnant. I could barely stand upright for more than 10 minutes let alone being on my feet and on the run all ).
    Yes that is what I am worried about. I really want to be there for her but also want to start a family. As I said I am 23 (will be getting closer to 25 by the time of the wedding) will it make a huge difference to wait? I am a super impatient person and it seems like a lot longer to wait. But I am also thinking that if we do wait that long to start trying it could take us a long time to even fall pregnant?


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