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  1. #21
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    Default Long Term TTC with a History of Loss Chat

    Joining in! So (obscurely) nice to find others in the same boat as me. I definitely recognise many of you from previous threads... Hopefully support can help reduce that ttc stress and gather plenty of baby dust to go around! I find some ttc threads too fast to follow and struggle to do personals on phone or iPad.... So apologies in advance.. I do care and follow your journeys closely with fingers crossed.

    Quick stats... Been UTD seven times... One ectopic, then early mc, one DD8, who was a twin, born micro prem at 26weeks....then a chemical, then another early mc... Then missed miscarriage early this year at 12weeks, with D/C... only to fall preg again to mc at 8weeks last month.
    Seems no pattern, so am completely baffled as to why?!

    Currently waiting for AF after mc. Only a couple of days away... Bought a maybe baby to check ov... Which looks like I did. So you never know... But almost too scared to test as this just gets me all twisted up inside...especially when it's positive. Sometimes wish i was just oblivious until a bump appears..lol!
    Look forward to hearing your stories and lending each other support...
    Cheers, PP

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by tiggerfields View Post
    GirlX I feel EXACTLY the same about BFPs. They are completely meaningless to me - well, actually they mean that a mc is coming

    I know what you mean about the black hole, I HATE the drugs and tests and well, everything about it really.

    Seems so completely surreal that some people can just have s3x, get pg and have a baby
    Thanks for understanding. I wish none of us had to know what it feels like.

    I have no idea how anyone gets pregnant accidentally.

  3. #23
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    Hi ladies
    It's great (but sad at same time) that there are so many of us here. Im at work but some days when it's not busy ur mind just travels and ur fingers get on here instead!

    Delirum - thinking of you and hoping everything goes ur way in Oct.
    Tigger - never evern hoped for a miscarriage for anyone, but hope this is over with soon (the physical part at least IYKWIM).
    Girl x - it's so easy for our DH to be positive i think as it's not happening to them physically, that's what i think with my eternally optimistic DH. Some days i just want him to join me in negative land!
    Pickelpink - again never hope for AF for someone so hoping for a BFP instead.
    6 years trying - thinking of you and wishing you the miracel u deserve.
    Stretch - thinking of you too and sending lots of positive vibes.

    AFM - just had ovarian drilling last week with new FS so it's back to basics with new diagnosis of PCO. So no iVF for time being, hoping doing the basics in getting me to ovulate will get us preg which is what happened last time (just don't want the missed miscarriage part though).
    xx

  4. #24
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    ooohh more friends lol

    I'm just sitting down for a min but will back tonight with personals. I was thinking tigger, stretched and myself would be here on our lonesome in this thread...

  5. #25
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    Hi there,

    Delirium, no, not at all on your own here. Some of us just sit in the background and I know in my case, I am trying to hide from the potential of having another miscarriage and trying not to get too excited about potentially being pregnant. I've had 5 miscarriages since March 2009, 3 since february this year. We're TTC and I started on 75mg DHEA mid July after my last miscarriage. We promised the the FS that we wouldn't have unprotected sex until the first IVF cycle if she gave it to us but I came home, thought about it and decided she only said that because it's a business at the end of the day and I firmly believe we have a very good chance of it succeeding with DHEA. Try telling me that at the moment though!

    Currently in the 2WW and I only have a few more days to go...I normally have a 25 days cycle but after the last 2 miscarriages, my period/fertility tracker has me on a 28 day cycle. If it really is a 25 day cycle still, AF is due on Thursday, if not, AF should appear next Monday...I am hoping that she doesn't rear her ugly head though and that, should my suspicions be accurate, I am pregnant and this one will be a sticky. I have POAS twice over the past 3 days (yes I too have a bit of an addiction there) and the 2WW is just horrid. Both were BFN but I am wondering if I didn't have implantation bleeding after intercourse last night? There was the slightest spotting only after sex and the last 2 nights when we've had sex, my cervix has been quite tender, so much so that last night, this little sex addict was actually wishing for it to be over because it was so tender. Other than that, I've had quite a few symptoms and since yesterday, been really turned off some foods that I love. I've had some really bad headaches, insomnia but am so damn tired, tender, very tender nipples and occasional cramping and back pains.

    Sadly, it's all a waiting game for now...So, as I mentioned, some us are here in the background and very grateful for the thread just trying to avoid thinking of the possibilities to try and keep sane. xxx

  6. #26
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    Default Long Term TTC with a History of Loss Chat

    Oh Raeleneb... My heart goes out to you. What a tumultuous beginning to your year! It's not just the physically changes but the emotional highs and lows that just knocks you for a six! Fingers crossed your suspicions are correct and you will get a BFP!

    Ladies...quick question?! How many of us are trying naturally...and how many as seeing a FS?
    My DF wants us to see someone but I'm scared they will tell me to give up, due to my medical history. Plus my DF supported me to make the decision to cut my hours back from FT to casual... Now only doing one to two days a week, sometimes only three hours! So riddled with financial guilt too... I should be going to the gym everyday but even that makes me feel guilty. I told him the other day I need to think about this as my new job... Getting UTD !

    What sort of cost are involved with first consults, tests etc?
    I do not have private health insurance, due to my med history (renal failure and breast cancer) so it will all be out of pocket!
    Any suggestions are appreciated!

  7. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pickledpink View Post
    Oh Raeleneb... My heart goes out to you. What a tumultuous beginning to your year! It's not just the physically changes but the emotional highs and lows that just knocks you for a six! Fingers crossed your suspicions are correct and you will get a BFP!

    Ladies...quick question?! How many of us are trying naturally...and how many as seeing a FS?
    My DF wants us to see someone but I'm scared they will tell me to give up, due to my medical history. Plus my DF supported me to make the decision to cut my hours back from FT to casual... Now only doing one to two days a week, sometimes only three hours! So riddled with financial guilt too... I should be going to the gym everyday but even that makes me feel guilty. I told him the other day I need to think about this as my new job... Getting UTD !

    What sort of cost are involved with first consults, tests etc?
    I do not have private health insurance, due to my med history (renal failure and breast cancer) so it will all be out of pocket!
    Any suggestions are appreciated!
    Hi Pickledpink,

    Thanks for your kind thoughts and support :-)

    In relation to your questions, for us, we have been seeing a FS however have not yet commenced an IVF journey as such. I have this feeling deep down in my gut that we don't need IVF that by improving egg quality, we should be able to conceive naturally, hence my attitude with the FS' request to not have unprotected sex until further notice. All we have done with the FS is undertake all the tests required, consented to everything and now all we have to do is attend the compulsory counselling session with the embryologist prior to our Day 21 appointment. My DH has a real aversion to IVF, it is a cultural and religious thing. He doesn't believe that science should interfere with nature and has a massive concern that if we do, we may have a child with a disability as a result. Me of course, I am the complete opposite. He has tried to express these fears with the FS however they just shrug off his concerns. I get the impression for them it really does boil down to $$ at the end of the day as opposed to helping couples conceive naturally first.

    An example of this is that I had to demand DHEA and report my research findings to them only to be told yes, we agree that this could help you however this is not our standard first treatment response, we prefer to undertake one cycle and then start things to make sure that we fully understand the situation before we going adding things to the mix. This was the same response to my request for clexane injections as soon as I notify them that we are pregnant. They have never offered anything other than HCG, progesterone & oestrogen monitoring. I told them that given that my last 3 miscarriages have been under their care where they should have in my opinion offered such options, I felt they were being negligent in their care options toward me and that if I didn't have them at least consider the information I was bringing to them and provide me with satisfactory responses why I should not have this treatment, I would be going elsewhere. Needless to say, I got the DHEA and the request (which I have not adhered to).

    In terms of giving up, if there was someone who should have given up it is me I think. After 1 stillbirth & 5 miscarriages, I really question sometimes whether the universe is trying to send me a message. The FS told me that my AMH was <1 and I had very few eggs left and the quality of those left was most likely very poor. Despite this, I raised concerns with them that if the prognosis was that bad, surely it is in everyone's best interests to fast track my treatment and give everything they have to each cycle. They 'assured' me that the situation was not that dire that I wasn't going to be menopausal and/or run out of eggs in the next few months.

    To really answer your question though about giving up, I don't think that it is a choice that we make, rather, I believe that if we want it that badly, we won't make a conscious choice to give up entirely. I think that even if we articulate verbally that 'enough is enough', our hearts and souls never give up hope and we always live in hope that maybe it will happen on its own. While I haven't got to the end of this journey yet, I think that if it doesn't happen for me, that's how it will be. I think that I'll never entirely give up, whether I articulate a choice or not until I have started the menopause journey and then, not only will I be going through a loss and grief journey for 'menopause' but also the realisation that my dream to become a mum again was not realised (fingers crossed I don't have this happen).

    In terms of the financial burden, I guess I'm lucky that I'm self employed and can make money to pay for things if I want to and need to. Having said that, the more I increase my hours, the more stress I put my body under and being self employed in itself can be a stressor that one doesn't really need in high risk pregnancy. I am a gym junkie pre TTC however I have been told to stop anything that could remotely affect a pregnancy or my ability to sustain a pregnancy. So, I haven't been to the gym since December and I used to go 6 days a week and play tennis 1 day a week.

    The initial consults as far as we were concerned were not too extreme, from memory each one was around the $250 mark on average. The 3D ultrasound was about $200 & fro memory, not covered. Most of the pathology tests were covered by medicare if you went to their selected pathology clinic however some were not covered at all. For us if we proceed, it is purely IVF. The first cycle from memory we will be out of pocket around $5K (just for the treatment, this does not include hospital, anaethetist etc). I do have a very good level of hospital and ancillaries cover although I have to say, they don't really provide rebates for the treatment that are worth writing home about.

    The most significant thing that I would say is that our clinic will not deduct the medicare rebate prior to treatment. You have to pay for the entire treatment cycle upfront and then, after the first cycle is complete, claim your medicare rebate. This means that for us, the first cycle would cost us around $7.5K (not including hospital and anaethetist) and we would have to wait approximately 1 month before we can claim anything back from medicare. So, you could already be into your 2nd cycle before you have even got your rebate. This is a real issue that needs to be considered and in my opinion, FS' should be more flexible than they are with this. They know clients are going to get the rebate so why put them through the additional stress?

    Anyway, best of luck and I should finish this little novel! x

  8. #28
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    MagicMud - I'm so sorry it's been such an ordeal for you. 3 years is a long time

    Spud - I had my due date come a few days after the loss of my EP. I think many of us struggle when that date rolls around So how do they do ovarian drilling? have always wondered....

    Raeleneb - fingers crossed for you that you get a BFP

    GirlX - good luck with the next cycle. ttc is so consuming isn't it? so do they just do 1 egg a cycle, so you have 6 months worth?

    Pickled - you have had so many losses I'm not sure I could cope after so many. Do they get easier or harder or the same? I ovulated around 3 weeks after my injection for EP, so only a week after my count was zero. It's amazing how quickly things can go back to normal. My fingers are crossed for you.

    We are trying naturally, we have had both myself and DH tested in our bloods. DH's count and mobility is good, I have a slightly liw progesterone count. I'm am currently going the natural medicine route as this is what got me my BFP first month with my DD after 54 failed cycles.

    AFM - my period come today just over 5 weeks after the shot, so I'm pleased my body has returned to normal. Isn't it crazy how I am so happy to see the witch? lol I'm in pain, but I've noticed after any pg, be it full term or losses, many have painful and heavy periods straight after.

    I'm going back on my vitex tomorrow. 6 weeks girls, 6 weeks and I can ttc again It's felt like an eternity though, although also a relief in some ways too. 14 months of symptom spotting, OPK's a million pg tests, obsessing about everything... while it's been frustrating it's also been a nice break from ttc

  9. #29
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    Hi to all the other ladies who now find themselves in this thread, it's sad that we find ourselves here but I'm glad for the support and understanding.

    Spud - I hope they can get you to ovulate without too much trouble. I know how fortunate I am that my PCO only means irregular ovulation (+ a few other symptoms) but thankfully I do ovulate. Did you find your pregnancy changed your PCO at all? I have found mine has changed with each pregnancy (basically gone after DD, back in one ovary after angelbub1 and now cycles appear to be regular again after angelbub2).

    RealeneB, I'm in the 2ww too - I hope we both get our sticky BFPs! I'll be interested if the DHEA helps. I took a low (compared for IVF patients) dose of CoQ10 for CD1-14 this cycle in the hope of improving egg quality.

    GirlX - I understand why you must feel like a break - those fertility hormones sound like all sorts of hell - I'm sure it will all be well worth it for you when you get your sticky baby (hopefully soon!!).

    Del - woo-hoo to the witch arriving. Hopefully she'll just be here once more and then it will be trying time!!

    PickledPink - I'm sort of hitting the stage where I'm wondering if I need to see a FS, but I have a very good OB so I know my first steps will be through him as he will look at everything other than IVF first. He helped a friend of a friend to get her sticky baby after two losses, she was also a breast cancer survivor and needed hormone support. He is known to be a little bit 'alternative' as OBs go (has his own midwife team, supports VBAC etc).

    I think I will only ask to see a FS if and when it becomes aparent that we'd need IVF, as it seems to be their 'business'. Possibly not to the extent of RaleneB's hubby, but IVF would also present a bit of a moral dilema for me too, I fully support it as an option for couples, but I know I would need to do a lot of soul searching before deciding if it is right for me.

    The girls who know me will know what a neurotic symptoms spotter I am and this cycle is no exception! So I'm just quietly going crazy (she says prodding b.oo.bs.... again!). Worst still, I was at the chemist today so once again have FRERs in the house.

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    It's so hard not to test and symptom spot isn't it? says another neurotic one


 

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