I was in Coles all by myself. That in itself is an accomplishment as I am usually being followed by a husband, 2 girls asking for EVERYTHING and pushing a pram/trolley containing a little boy who can launch into meltdown at a seconds notice. So I'm alone. I'm going in to buy Quiche for dinner and hopefully find hollandaise sauce so I can make eggs benedict with salmon for DH for breakfast on the weekend. Because I love him and all that cr@p.
I'm walking around. And I spot her. *plays that song by Gotye* It was somebody that I used to know. And somebody that I most certainly didn't like. I decide that if I am approached I am going to pretend I've no idea who she is.
I find the quiche. Can't find the sauce. Admit defeat and head to the self serve check outs because I feel I was a check out chick in a past life and I owe it to her to occasionally let her out to play.
Along comes that somebody I used to know and wouldn't you know it, they slot up beside me.
"HELLO! How are you?"
I turn and look puzzled, "Okay." I zap through the salmon.
"How are the kids?"
I pull my best 'holy cr@p its my stalker face' and say, "Excuse me?"
"The kids? Your kids?" She starts to question my face. "Um, it's been a while since I've seen you."
I sigh and pull an 'apologetic' face, "Sorry, I don't mean to be rude, but do we know each other?"
She looks horrified. A part inside me feels terrible. But a bigger part is amused.
"It's Tottie (NOT her real name) from Posh Pathetic Charm School (NOT our real high school)."
I nod. "Oh, okay, I didn't go there."
She laughs, "Sure you did! You're Betty! (NOT my real name.)"
I shake my head, "Sorry, I've no idea what you are talking about. I have to go, my Alsatians are probably chewing the leather seats."
I leave. She looks totally confused like I just hit her with a shovel and keeps pointing to the plastic bags. I stop and tell the assistant who guards the self serve check outs that the lady is having trouble using the bags and I leave.
I tell DH as soon as I get back in the car and he can't stop laughing. The last time I encountered her I was with my 2 daughters and she said, "are you going to introduce these little princesses to me?" and I said, "No." It was awkward.
Have a good afternoon.