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  1. #61
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    Quote Originally Posted by Witwicky View Post
    We have already started the talks with DS who is 3. Excellent communication between child and parent is imperative. The conversations regarding their body and privacy needs to be an ongoing process, not just a one-off talk. Teach the child that it is OKAY to say no if they feel uncomfortable with how someone is touching them (even if it's parents!).

    We also won't be doing sleep-overs, unless it is with a family member who I trust explicitly (like my sister). This might sound full on, but in my previous job I worked with child sex offenders and I am telling you now that you would be doing the same if you read the things I read.
    Not a fan of sleepovers either.

    Will always tell him it's not ok for anyone to hurt him or make him feel yucky or uncomfortable, including mummy and daddy.

    Basically just keep an open dialogue with him as well as use my own gut instincts regarding people around him.

  2. #62
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    I am always on edge and always scared about it. I basically don't trust anyone, but I have to leave them with babysitters because we don't have any family in our area at all. It stresses me out, I talk about their penis being private and if anyone ever makes them feel unfomfortable to tell me about it.

    But I know it ins't enough, I have no idea what else I am supposed to do bar homeshchooling them and not letting me out of my sight.

    It doesn't help that I get comments about how "pretty" my boys are or how "beautiful" looking they are. That makes me even more worried.

  3. #63
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    Default What do you do to protect your children...warning, trigger topic

    Quote Originally Posted by mumof1expecting2 View Post
    This is one topic that terrifies me so much I'm almost in denial!! As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse I really don't even know how to begin to broach the subject with ds1 who is almost 3. I don't know where to begin iykwim??

    My mothers father abused me from a very young age (he died when I was 8, thankfully) but I have flashbacks of it occurring since I was a toddler. I'll be 29 this year and only just told my mum a few months ago
    that must be awful to live with, I'm sorry that happened to you.

    See, my DS gets looked after by my dad one day a week. I have no reason to mistrust him but stories like this worry me so much. It's so often a trusted family member.

  4. #64
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    Could I please suggest maybe letting the kids know that it's not ok for their OWN siblings to touch them either?

    I know it's not something anyone wants to think about, but it happens.

  5. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Shoopuf For This Useful Post:

    breakthemould  (17-08-2012),threechooks  (17-08-2012)

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    Nothing yet, he's 16 months. But I'll do much the same as most others...get him to wash his own parts asap, tell him that no one else should touch them and visa-versa, teach him what to say and do if it does happen and BELIEVE him if he comes to me.

    I was also molested at a young age by a family member....it's far too common for my liking. The above would have helped me a lot - I didn't know how to say no or how to tell my parents. The on-going effects it had on my life are unbelievable.

    ETA when people think that an 8 year old girl "made it up" it's the worst feeling ever
    Last edited by captainscaptain; 17-08-2012 at 21:02.

  7. #66
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    Witwicky is offline A closed mouth gathers no foot.
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    ^^ Yes sibling abuse does occur and it is not that uncommon The stats are higher between step-siblings, then half siblings and then bio, but all of the above definitely occur.

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    Default What do you do to protect your children...warning, trigger topic

    I trust no one. The only time kids are away from me is at kindy and school while i work. And the extremely odd occassion the aunt might babysit.

    But no one else. Family have let me down trust wise with important things before so they dont get my respect or trust to be alone with my children.

    As others said sleep overs are an absolute NO! Maybe when they are teenagers and have a phone. Maybe.

    No one can protect my kids like i can and i would do everything in my power to keep them safe in this world.

  9. #68
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    threechooks is offline If my spelling annoys you that's your problem.... I have better things to do than proofread !
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    It's all well and good to tell your kids no sleepovers. But how do you explain it to them when they get an invitation to a slumber party and they are so damn excited, and all their friends are going. Does anyone have any suggestions?

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    Default What do you do to protect your children...warning, trigger topic

    My son is almost 3 but has just been diagnosed with autism and is very developmentally delayed. Worries me as a survivor of se.xual abuse that he is non verbal. He is only away from me when he's at daycare though and has never had a sleep over.

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    Default What do you do to protect your children...warning, trigger topic

    Quote Originally Posted by threechooks View Post
    It's all well and good to tell your kids no sleepovers. But how do you explain it to them when they get an invitation to a slumber party and they are so damn excited, and all their friends are going. Does anyone have any suggestions?
    I was wondering this too. Also, what exactly would you say to a parent if they asked if your child would like a sleep over at their house?

    It's a hard one for me because sleepovers are some of my best memories and happened most weekends through mid-late primary and highschool, but I totally understand the reasoning behind the 'no sleepover' rule.

    My DS is nearly 3 and we haven't done anything that you have all suggested, but I'll definitely start tomorrow! I feel like he wouldn't get it AT ALL. I should order that book to get the ball rolling.


 

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