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    My DD will be having her first sleepover tomorrow night she is 3.5 years old and is sleeping at my sisters. After reading this I actually feel a bit sick to my stomach, i am rather nervous now. The thought never crossed my mind, obviously i trust my sister with my DD but I am apprehensive now, I don't know what to do. Maybe I should just not go out.

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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Default What do you do to protect your children...warning, trigger topic

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    Last edited by headoverfeet; 17-08-2012 at 17:13.

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    Default What do you do to protect your children...warning, trigger topic

    I'm going to go order "Everybody's got a bottom", thank you for that suggestion

    We're also enforcing the no sleepover rule. If my kids want a sleepover when their older I would consider letting their friends stay here. Even then it would be door open and checking on them regularly.

    I know several people whose kids have been s*xually abused by other kids - some shockingly so, so even at friends kids parties I never let my kids out of my sight - they can still play without knowing I'm watching - I am subtle but I always keep an eye on them.

    Other than that the only people I leave them with other than DH are my parents. I wouldn't even leave them with MIL and FIL. Though they're lovely people they parent very differently to us and FIL is a bit of a bully. I just wouldn't risk it.

    The other thing worth mentioning is to be careful in parks and at the shops. We've had a couple of incidents with DS1 when men tried to lead him away. When they realized we were right there they bolted.

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    Default What do you do to protect your children...warning, trigger topic

    Quote Originally Posted by tadpoles View Post
    For those of you that say you don't do sleepovers, will you never allow sleepovers no matter what age they are?
    I will only do sleep overs if I trust the other family. And there is only one family other than my own that i trust. Even then I do ask ALOT of questions after. And I am still worried. But I can't never let him have a sleep over. I was refused them when I was a child by the man(my step father) who was sexually abusing me in my own home, I figured it's because he was worried I would say something to another family or he didn't want to miss out on a night of abusing me. I wanted to have sleep overs so badly and was always sad when I wasn't allowed.

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    Default What do you do to protect your children...warning, trigger topic

    Quote Originally Posted by Thermolicious View Post
    only that you should never shame your child for talking about their bodies at all. Ever.
    So sorry that happened to you how devastating for you and your family. That's very good advice for leaving that line of communication so open.

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    headoverfeet  (17-08-2012)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ffrenchknickers View Post
    From s.exual Abu$e?

    The stats are alarming
    where do you find the stats please?

    In answer to the question, as PPs mentioned will start talking to my kids about appropriate behaviour when they get a bit older.

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    Default What do you do to protect your children...warning, trigger topic

    Quote Originally Posted by Thermolicious View Post
    Sorry CluckySC do you mind editing your post and removing my quote as I asked? Cheers
    Just did - realized I'd done it the second I hit send. Sorry!

    (if you want me to delete that single comment too let me know

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    Quote Originally Posted by CluckySC View Post
    The other thing worth mentioning is to be careful in parks and at the shops. We've had a couple of incidents with DS1 when men tried to lead him away. When they realized we were right there they bolted.
    Thats shocking. I would have chased them and kicked them in the balls (not really of course). So sorry to hear that happened to you.
    I actually thought that most abductions etc happened from people known to the kids rather than strangers though - a friend did a lot of research into it but I havent really myself.

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    Default What do you do to protect your children...warning, trigger topic

    Quote Originally Posted by soccer mum View Post
    Thats shocking. I would have chased them and kicked them in the balls (not really of course). So sorry to hear that happened to you.
    I actually thought that most abductions etc happened from people known to the kids rather than strangers though - a friend did a lot of research into it but I havent really myself.
    I'm sure that's true statistically, but it can happen anywhere. I was genuinely surprised with these incidents as they were I'm broad daylight in good areas. I'll add that I'm not a suspicious person at all. I encourage DS1 to chat to people we meet when out and allow him plenty of freedom to explore. I think that 99% of the time people are good, and I want to raise him with that worldview too - I just stay aware, just as I would of him tripping on the footpath or falling at the playground

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    Default What do you do to protect your children...warning, trigger topic

    Stats for these things are unlikely to be accurate due to significant under reporting. It's a tough one though - PPs comments about issues arising in their own homes highlight the fact that SA can happen anywhere. Building age appropriate awareness and resilience as well as *always* listening to your child would seem to be the key.

    ETA - stats for incidence, not stats as to who the perpetrators are.


 
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