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  1. #1
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    Default DF problems, please help.

    So i have a 3 week old baby girl and a first time mum, i have three younger brothers so i have some idea of how to look after a baby but have learnt most of what to do by trial and error in the last few weeks. My df thinks if we keep her awake during the day she will sleep better at night and when i say shes hungry or tired he just doesnt listen and thinks if her eyes are open shes wide awake. I have tried several times to tell him otherwise and im the one who ends up having to try and settle her which is so hard sometimes, when you have tried everything and nothing works.
    He was home for two weeks and this week has gone back to work and i have been letting her sleep lots and she does, then when df gets home and her eyes are open he thinks its "awake and play time" its taken me nearly 4 hours tonight to get her to sleep im so exhausted and df is sleeping on the couch. So im pretty ****ed off too.

    Any advice on how to handle this. Im reaching boiling point and ready to scream. I hate it when he doesnt listen.

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    Default DF problems, please help.

    Leave some strategically marked reading material in the toilet or somewhere he is likely to be able to read it on his own.

    Try making him think of the idea was his own, that way he will think you are doing what he thinks best, even if you knew better all along.

    Hang in there, its tough in the beginning but it does get better.

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    Default Re: DF problems, please help.

    Thats a great idea. Thanks!

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    This would be a good time to come down with a "terrible ailment" so that he has to stay home and do your job.


    When he has to suffer the consequences of his stupidity, he will realise.

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    Default Re: DF problems, please help.

    I wish he could stay at home and do my job but he just started a new job so he cant take time off.

    I think im going to buy a baby book this friday and make him read it, well try to.


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    Default DF problems, please help.

    You should be able to pick some some free pamphlets from the child health centre. Not sure where you are but, I know in wa they have one about newborn sleeping.

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    Ulysses is offline In the eyes of a child you will see...the world as it should be.
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    my husband used to have the same ideas.

    1. babies who have adequate sleep in the day will sleep better at night
    2. it is perfectly normal for a newborn to wake every few hours for a feed - infact it is part of their npurishment and emotional attachment requirement in most cases
    3. all babies have different sleep needs - some need more than others - so follow babies signs and read the tired signs and when you see them prepare her for bed
    4. Get a good book for hubby to read, knowledge is power.

    And give yourself a big pat on the back …..having a newborn is tough.

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    Default Re: DF problems, please help.

    Thanks for your replys.
    Ive ordered a book for him to read and had a few more serious talks with him. After seeing how exhausted i was after dd being unsettled for so long he has seemed to listen to me a bit more.

    Ive been taking dd for alot more walks too she sleeps the whole way which is awesome and i dont have to worry about him getting her up for play.

    Still having some problems at night when hes tired he will tell her to shut up and raise his voice which upsets me and have talked to him about it several times, he thinks because shes just a baby its fine but they still are very cleaver and take it in.

    I find i just have to take her into another room, its unfortunate because sometimes i just need a break and would like him to take over but its not worth it as he gets angry easily. During the day hes all smiles and for most of it quiet happy.
    I know its exhausting but theres no need to raise your voice or start swearing. Id rather he do it to me then her. Or not at all.
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    I know the feeling. Your DF is wrong and you need to tell him. He needs to do some reading or maybe you need to give yourself a break - take an afternoon off, do something for yourself and let him handle it - he knows everything anyway so it shouldn't be a problem

    FWIW neither of you should expect to be sworn at. It's an exhausting time for everyone and some empathy from him would go a long way.

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    Default DF problems, please help.

    My daughter didn't sleep through the night until she turned 1, from memory it was in the same wk. since then she's sleep all night every night in her own room/bed from 7pm unless unwell then she wakes from coughing etc.

    Some people have it happen before 1yr, but I wouldn't be forcing this or keeping a new baby awake during the day.

    When closer to 1 you can offer water in the night instead of milk so they don't get in the habit of waking up for comfort/cuddles and breast milk


 

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