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  1. #1
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    Default Your Partner

    Do you ever have doubts about your partner? How do you overcome these feelings?
    I've been having these doubts about my df that lead to a fight a little earlier. I know my doubts are silly I mean I know he has his flaws and he knows them too but generally he is really good and he does try a lot. What do you do when you feel crummy about your relationship?
    Maybe this can be a harmless rant thread to help us feel better? I just want to not feel crummy because I know I'm being silly!

  2. #2
    Gothel's Avatar
    Gothel is offline Skip the drama, stay with Mama!
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    Default Re: Your Partner

    Dh and I have had our down patches, and its easy to let the negative thoughts take over. Best advice I ever got was to start a journal, and each night write down something positive about your partner, something nice he did is said, no matter how small. It focuses you in the good stuff so brings back a bit of balance. hth

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    Default Your Partner

    The only doubts I have about DH is with money, he is hopeless at saving and loves to put everything on credit, whereas I am a spend what you have kind of person.

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    Default Your Partner

    Quote Originally Posted by Pandora67 View Post
    The only doubts I have about DH is with money, he is hopeless at saving and loves to put everything on credit, whereas I am a spend what you have kind of person.
    Haha it's the other way around with df and I - df taught me how to save lol.

  6. #5
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    ToughLove is offline Meaner than a junkyard dog
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    Everyone has doubts. It's normal. You're sharing your life, and it's not with a clone of yourself, it's with a completely unique and different person; with different likes, dislikes, habits, smells, movements and desires.
    Nothing simple about it!

    Every time you think of a negative, try immediately to think of a positive. Even something like "I remember when he saved half of his McChicken for me".
    That way you're re-training your brain to replace a negative with a positive.

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  8. #6
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    OJandMe is offline I am the strength my children will have.
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    live a little.

    have fun.

    Get a babysitter and go bowling.

    Or watch a comedy.

    cook something yummy...

    just have fun together. that always helps.

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    Default Your Partner

    Yup. Part of it is that I've never had another serious adult relationship, part of it is that I think I had 'Disney Syndrome' & still expect my prince & happily ever after.

    I've trained myself to focus on his good qualities instead of the annoying ones when he's driving me up the wall & reminding myself that I'm not particularly easy to live with either!

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    Quote Originally Posted by ToughLove View Post

    something like "I remember when he saved half of his McChicken for me".
    ..Do you know him?! (That's his favourite McDonalds food )
    Also thank you I try to think of positives but then I start feeling worse because he's not being nice at the time

  13. #9
    LifeInShadesOfGrey's Avatar
    LifeInShadesOfGrey is offline Just a little bit silly :)
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    This does happen with us. I think when the arguments flare up, the tiredness and the tough times is when the monster thoughts creep in. Its often me doing the doubting but thats due to DP's stuff up 2.5 years ago (he didn't cheat, but it hurt just as much). But the doubts can creep in occassionally. However the longer we are together the less it happens. But I think you will always have these times.

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    Yeah it happens here too,even today we were arguing about business stuff ( I stuffed up ) and he was just over it and i was just over it. It made me think how are we acting and reacting towards each other.

    Couldn't come up with any helpful solutions for us atm but im going to have a bath tonight and forget about him and the world

    Think some times you just have to ride out the bad times.


 

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