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  1. #1
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    Default Having a break from TTC

    Sorry everyone, this post is a bit rambly and venty and all-over-the-place, but I'm hoping someone has been in a similar situation and can give me some advice.

    Dh and I have been trying for baby number 2 for over 18 months. We have had one round of tests (no major issues found) and are about to start another. Our DD took just 3 months to conceive.

    Recently, TTC has started to become a huge issue for me, and for our marriage.

    If I'm not waiting to ovulate, I'm wondering if I'm pregnant, then I'm worried my AF is coming, then I'm super cranky because it arrives. Then it all starts again.

    Sex is no longer fun and I find I'm avoiding it unless it's a 'good' time.

    DH has been pretty patient, but after another fight last night about 'not having fun anymore' I suggested we have a break from trying for a bit. DH agreed.

    The thing is, I'm not sure exactly how to go about it! (Sounds stupid, huh?) What I mean is, do we stop doing OPKs and charting my cycle and all that stuff and just "have fun?" Or do we stop talking about anything baby-related at all?

    And I'm not actually sure I really want to have a break. I'm worried that in my crazy mind, I'll still be hoping to see a BFP at the end of it. How do you turn that off? And how do you have sex "for fun" after such a long time trying?

    Has anyone found having a break helped them at all?

    Agggh, sorry if this is a pointless post - just feeling very, very deflated today

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    rainbow road is offline look at the stars, look how they shine for you
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    Default Having a break from TTC

    Maybe stop using opks etc, just have sex when you want to and don't look at any fertility apps that track your cycle. Don't try, don't prevent.

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    Default Having a break from TTC

    Also

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    Default Having a break from TTC

    That's exactly what I'm worried about. I don't want sex to be all about baby making. If we decided to take a break though, the only way i'd be able to switch off, would be to go back on the pill. Otherwise, I'd still be aware of what my body is doing

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    Default Re: Having a break from TTC

    I know plenty of people whom have been in your situation, stop the pressure you have been putting on yourselves for the past 18 months and just enjoy sex, don't worry about ovulation and all the rest, enjoy life, stop TTC just take each day as it comes, bet you are utd in no time. Good luck.

    Sent from my HTC Desire HD A9191 using BubHub

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    Default Re: Having a break from TTC

    I have been in this situation, took us 18 months to conceive dd. It was that last month that i gave up ttc as it was getting me so down. I stopped temp charting & plotting symptoms & things on my lil calendar. I started obsessing about dresses & looking on ebay for one as i had a wedding to go to. Weird i know but i love to shop & it was a good distraction. Of course ttc is still in the back of your mind but its not what you're focussed on. Maybe try planning a holiday.. Even if its just a fantasy one. Most of the time, if there's no medical issues you just need to focus your thoughts onto something else. After a few weeks of me hounding my poor dh about which dress he likes best.. I found out i was pregnant! Yay! New obsession

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    Quote Originally Posted by tully78 View Post
    I know plenty of people whom have been in your situation, stop the pressure you have been putting on yourselves for the past 18 months and just enjoy sex, don't worry about ovulation and all the rest, enjoy life, stop TTC just take each day as it comes, bet you are utd in no time.
    I know you meant this post in a supportive way, but it's the last thing any ltttc wants to hear. If it were that easy there would be no ltttc's at all!


    Good luck Scarlet, I hope you can manage to switch off and spend some time focusing on each other

    Ltttc is a stress no couple should have to endure

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    Quote Originally Posted by tully78 View Post
    I know plenty of people whom have been in your situation, stop the pressure you have been putting on yourselves for the past 18 months and just enjoy sex, don't worry about ovulation and all the rest, enjoy life, stop TTC just take each day as it comes, bet you are utd in no time. Good luck.


    Sent from my HTC Desire HD A9191 using BubHub


    Thanks for your reply and I hope you're right! I do know what you mean, and we never wanted to make TTC into a big saga, but unfortunately that's what has happened for us. We were pretty cruisy about it for about 12 months, but not now. It's just hard to turn the pressure off IYKWIM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Strawberry55 View Post
    I know you meant this post in a supportive way, but it's the last thing any ltttc wants to hear. If it were that easy there would be no ltttc's at all!


    Good luck Scarlet, I hope you can manage to switch off and spend some time focusing on each other

    Ltttc is a stress no couple should have to endure
    Thank you so much Strawberry - I never wanted this to happen for us, but here we are!
    And you're right about the stress. I was blissfully unaware of how hard TTC could be and it can be absolutely heartbreaking.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Missabubble View Post
    I have been in this situation, took us 18 months to conceive dd. It was that last month that i gave up ttc as it was getting me so down. I stopped temp charting & plotting symptoms & things on my lil calendar. I started obsessing about dresses & looking on ebay for one as i had a wedding to go to. Weird i know but i love to shop & it was a good distraction. Of course ttc is still in the back of your mind but its not what you're focussed on. Maybe try planning a holiday.. Even if its just a fantasy one. Most of the time, if there's no medical issues you just need to focus your thoughts onto something else. After a few weeks of me hounding my poor dh about which dress he likes best.. I found out i was pregnant! Yay! New obsession
    Thank you so much for your reply and congratulations on your happy ending! TTC has become an obsession for me and it sucks. Maybe I do need a hobby and who knows what might happen?? Fingers crossed!

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