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  1. #61
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mum2Ruairi View Post
    Nobody knows the long-term effects! No research!
    Of what part of SOS exactly are you refering to? Not using a dummy? Putting bub to bed awake? Following routines? Using a comforter?

    There's plenty of research on parenting stuff but out there. And plenty of it isn't covered. Is every thing you do as a parent backed by research?

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  3. #62
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    I don't identify as attachment parent at all.

  4. #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by WorkingClassMum View Post
    They stop crying through learned helplessness - they stop crying and become a little bit detached.
    Controlled crying I agree with you. Not protest whinging while bub is settling self to sleep,

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    Quote Originally Posted by FearlessLeader View Post
    I don't have a problem with controlled crying, after 6 months, as an absolute last resort. It works, and sometimes it's the lesser of two evils. What I find ABHORRENT is the idea that tiny babies need to be trained to sleep. I was recommended SOS by so many people before DS was even born I cannot, cannot understand why people think they need to train their babies, who are merely sleeping the way newborns sleep.


    Sent from my HTC Sensation Z710a using BubHub
    Yes I agree. I don't think controlled crying is ideal. However I did try it on my daughter at 10 months as she was literally waking every 45 minutes, even when co sleeping.. all the "gentle settling" techniques seemed to actually be making things worse and she basically needed a boob in her mouth to sleep. Anyway controlled crying didn't work for us as it turns out she had health problems, but I don't feel guilty for trying. Anyone who has a problem can kiss my *** because I really don't care. I was on the edge. Really. Tizzie hall is an idiot though. I've read her book. I think its important for parents to realise its actually normal for babies to wake several times a night. It just sets parents up to feel like failures when you tell them if you do x,y,z your baby will sleep all night, no problems.

    Sent from my HTC Desire S using BubHub

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    Quote Originally Posted by FearlessLeader View Post
    I don't have a problem with controlled crying, after 6 months, as an absolute last resort. It works, and sometimes it's the lesser of two evils. What I find ABHORRENT is the idea that tiny babies need to be trained to sleep. I was recommended SOS by so many people before DS was even born I cannot, cannot understand why people think they need to train their babies, who are merely sleeping the way newborns sleep.


    Sent from my HTC Sensation Z710a using BubHub
    It's not so much training babies as much as giving parents tools to help their babies sleep. If babies were all perfect sleepers from day dot then why do sleep schools exist? Because parents don't have the tools and strategies up their sleeve to help their baby sleep (not their fault, parenting classes are crap).

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    'protest whinging' implies that babies are demanding to avoid their current situation.
    Until a baby is around 9 months old, they are unable to reason like this, that part of their brain is not yet developed. They have basic survival needs.

    something as important as feeding/sleeping? yeah, i try to do what i know for a fact is best for my little one.

    xx

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  12. #67
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    When I had DS I was pretty much AP-focused, I always fed him to sleep, went to him as soon as he cried, held him and rocked him, etc. He had silent reflux and I constantly fed him to sleep because I didn't want him to cry - which was stupid. I had PND (whether related to sleep-deprivation or not I don't know) and I can't remember much of the first 8 months of his life. I spent so many days in tears. DS has cried SO MUCH from being sleep deprived and overtired, he spent months and months surviving on 8-9 hours sleep in 24, or less.

    At about 8 months we started working on not feeding to sleep, etc. We still cuddle him to sleep and he has never been left to cry. He's not a bad sleeper now.

    I find Tizzie to be quite extreme and her routines are just absolutely nuts (wake up at 6.50am and express 90ml, then wake your baby and feed for 6 minutes, etc). and I was disgusted at the bit about having a cup of tea while your 2 week old baby cries.

    HOWEVER I am not against using middle-of-the-road techniques to help baby get into good habits EARLY. I don't think babies should be left to cry alone, but using some techniques like putting down awake, not relying on feeding-to-sleep, trying to settle in the cot before you pick them up, etc can save everyone a lot of tears in the future. Probably better than taking your 6 month old baby to sleep-school and having a strange nurse settle him in the middle of the night.
    Last edited by duckduckgoose; 13-08-2012 at 20:15.

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  14. #68
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    I read Tizzie Hall and threw it out, as bad as a sleeper my DS was (over 6mths, no more than 45min naps, couldn't get him to sleep, couldn't get him to stay asleep etc) I couldn't do what she said and he just got more and more hysterical. We resorted to my husband sleeping in with him. We thought as first time parents we would figure it out and go by his cues and fall into a routine that worked - at nearly 6 he still doesn't sleep through the night and I believe he suffers from a constant lack of good restful sleep.

    DD at 7mths was waking every hour and I called in a sleep specialist, wasn't as full on as Tizzie Hall but still involved letting them grizzle for short periods of time, thankfully DD only grizzled for 5mins once and that was it. She now sleeps 7 to 7 and 2/3hr day sleeps.

    For me Tizzie wasn't the answer but I do wish I had got some more help for DS, it is one part of parenting that I feel like I have truly failed him.

  15. #69
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    I agree with PP: who says waking through the night is a problem that needs fixing? It's a continuum of normal baby behaviour. I don't understand why people bother having babies if they expect to get 8 hours sleep a night from 2 weeks onwards. Very strange.

    My son woke 2-3 hourly until 12 months. I thew SOS in the bin and never control cried, I breastfed him to sleep and on demand till he self-weaned at 15 months. He has no problems settling now and I look very fondly on those special middle of the night times we had together.

    People can ultimately do what they want, but the OP is right. We dont have enough evidence to support Tizzie's methods. They could harm babies.
    Last edited by Lilahh; 13-08-2012 at 20:24.

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  17. #70
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    My nephew sleeps from 11pm to 4am, having up to 8 wake ups in that time. I never knew 8 wake ups could fit into 5 hours! He is the most delightful little boy, not tired and cranky, he was born on the 40th percentile and at 15 months is on the 97th percentile so he is growing well. It takes all of us to be involved so we are all well rested and able to work and care for him. Some people need less sleep than others.


 
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