Oh hugs to you , put this episode behind you and hold your boy tight, he WILL work it out himself one day. My 3.5 slept in our bed until around 14 months, we had interrupted sleep alot but parenting doesn't and shouldn't stop at 7 pm and left crying with the door shut anyway, he then went into his own room and when he needed us we went to him or we brought him to us. He sleeps on his own through the night 99% of the time since around 17 months. DS 2 is 14 months and sleeps with us but last night slept through in his own room. Number 3 is due in 5 weeks and we will do it again.
Being exhausted is hard, listening to your child screaming for hours is harder. Children learn as infants through referencing your facial expressions , not looking at them is cruel and confusing.
I really say well done to you, parenting is wonderful yet difficult and a cuddle will calm quicker than endless crying. I highly recommend the no cry sleep solution by Elizabeth pantley .
Good on you xxx and I agree , what are we doing following someone who does not have kids? She has no idea of the emotional torture her ideas have on a parent. The natural instinct in us is to be there for our babies, it's not a race but a lesson in growing and adapting and patience ourselves ( all being well in ourselves) , they work it out themselves as mine have done even though it took exhaustion and sometimes tears from me from tiredness , but Im the adult here it's my job to reassure more than the baby s to sleep when afraid.
Well done xx
I am not saying all parents who use TH will have children who don't know they can rely on their parents at all. What I am saying is that I believe it is more important that a baby knows if it cries, mum or dad will be there. Children do learn to sleep at some point, you can't teach a one or two year old that their needs will always be met, that is learnt from birth. I'm not a fan of programming infants to conform to what the parents consider ideal.
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- Babies wake frequently at night to breastfeed as it is beneficial for development
- SIDS guidelines are now same room as adult caregiver first 6-12 months
- Waking to breastfeed through the night establishes mum's milk
- "Protest" crying? If a newborn protests anything, I listen
- Sleep schools exist because of completely unreasonable demands on parents such as going to work during the day while caring for a baby at night, caring for other older children during the day preventing day sleeps for mum/parent, all meals and cleaning expected from one caregiver as well as baby care, lack of experience with babies due to familial separation.
We should be supported to rearrange our lives to suit our baby, not our baby to suit our lives. But modern living is just so different to the ways things were. We used to have mum, sister, grandma, aunt living with us to help raise the children. Now our nuclear family design makes things so difficult. I can see why parents reach out to schedules such as Tizzy's. But it is good to be mindful that babies don't come with built-in design flaws. It's modern lifestyles that are incompatible with what babies are born expecting (24 hour care) - and that is really not our fault as parents, or their fault as our babies.
- just wanted to clarify yet ANOTHER misinformed statement about SOS.-
Just because you're a mother doesn't mean you automatically know anything let alone what's best. New mothers often have no idea as pre-natal classes are crap. I know when I brought bub home I had no idea about ideal awake/sleep times, pros/cons of using a dummy, how to introduce solids, the need for a quiet dark room for the good night feed etc.
I googled anything, everything, asked friends for advice and read multiple books. Because I did not know best at the start. Now, after all that research, I'm comfortable with my knowledge.
To insinuate those that don't have kids can't know stuff is wrong. As mentioned new parents may know zilch and I'd definitley listen to the specialist trained opinion of a doctor or pediatrician that didnt have kids. Even a nanny with years of experience raising other peoples kids.
And way to make first time mums feel like crap- so now when a newborn cries its heart out the poor mum is going to think they are a sh** mother for NOT having a healthy baby (WTF??) and for not doing appropriate prep.
WHY does everything turn into a slagging session? They are OUR babies. WE conceived them, WE birthed them, let US raise them as we see fit.
FTR, I have NOT read her book but feel I CAN comment as I find your comment completely STUPID.
This thread started as the OP had a hard time with Tizzies book- and this is HER perogative. SHE decided to post about it to help her- can we agree to disagree and put this to bed without making any more mothers feel like crap??
Shouldn't you be reading it and applying what would work for you?? Just as you would if it was your mother giving you advice??
Or are we all so unconfident in our parenting abilities that we follow blindly anything that we are told?
Sorry if this offends but really? Do what works for you, however that turns out. Every child is different, something that works for one won't work for the next. It's all trial and error, don't bag someone out for trying to be helpful
Appropriate prep? We're talking babies, not science projects!
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