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  1. #41
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    I'm a jealous person so if it were a female friend I didnt like then i would be ****ed unless he picked his sister even if I didn't like her I'd deal with it but if a male you don't like just be civil and as long as he doesn't start being a **** leading up to the wedding but if he did explain to htb that you don't want him/her wrecking ur day

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    Yeah I wouldn't like that.

    I've been on the other end of it though. My male friend got married at the start of the year. We've been friends for about 6 years and he met his now wife about 3-4 years ago. She HATES me. She was jealous of our friendship and extremely untrustworthy of it (no idea why I do not want your fiancé).

    I didn't even get an invite to the wedding because of it. I was really hurt by this. It's also ridiculous, I have a partner and a child with him yet she still doesn't trust our friendship. Righhhht?

  3. #43
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    rainbow road is offline look at the stars, look how they shine for you
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    Quote Originally Posted by mishh View Post
    Yeah I wouldn't like that.

    I've been on the other end of it though. My male friend got married at the start of the year. We've been friends for about 6 years and he met his now wife about 3-4 years ago. She HATES me. She was jealous of our friendship and extremely untrustworthy of it (no idea why I do not want your fiancé).

    I didn't even get an invite to the wedding because of it. I was really hurt by this. It's also ridiculous, I have a partner and a child with him yet she still doesn't trust our friendship. Righhhht?
    I can see both sides.

    Which is why I'd have no problem inviting her to the wedding - not my business at all! - but wouldn't really want them in the bridal party.

    Your friend's partner sounds a bit insecure. I'm sorry you missed his wedding

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    Yeah I don't think I'd like it either. But I guess it would depend on whether it was a "tolerate each other" kind of thing or a definite hatred there. Although in the case of your DP with her sister (brother?) I don't think it's so bad as the DP didn't know, so at least it was making their day uncomfortable.

  5. #45
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    I just thought of something.

    Sometimes people need to have a vent/let off steam to their friends about their partners even if overall their partners are pretty darned good (eg "hubby forgot to take the bins out AGAIN).

    The tricky bit is the friend has to
    Recognise when it's just healthy venting and not something serious. My good friend has a vent every now
    And then about her partner and I've got to be careful to not hold it against him and them as a couple. She just needs someone to listen who won't hold a grudge against her partner.
    (if something was really serious I would step in and say something).

    Perhaps your partner has been venting to the friend/telling her details about your relationship, and the friend is just hearing that and not the good stuff?

  6. #46
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    rainbow road is offline look at the stars, look how they shine for you
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I just thought of something.

    Sometimes people need to have a vent/let off steam to their friends about their partners even if overall their partners are pretty darned good (eg "hubby forgot to take the bins out AGAIN).

    The tricky bit is the friend has to
    Recognise when it's just healthy venting and not something serious. My good friend has a vent every now
    And then about her partner and I've got to be careful to not hold it against him and them as a couple. She just needs someone to listen who won't hold a grudge against her partner.
    (if something was really serious I would step in and say something).

    Perhaps your partner has been venting to the friend/telling her details about your relationship, and the friend is just hearing that and not the good stuff?
    Absolutely, I know DP vents about me to her, and I have my friend who hears all the bad bits about our relationship from my perspective but the problem is, three weeks ago after it all came to a head, DP put her friend in her place.

    She said yes, I do vent to you because I thought you were my friend. Now you're holding that against me and I feel as though I can't talk to you anymore because you're going to take that and use that as the basis for all judgments on my relationship. So pretty much, DP was so upset and the only reason they're really talking is because of work.

    But as DP doesn't have many friends, she's reluctant to lose this one entirely too. So she's decided she won't use her as her vent board anymore, but even though DP is over it, her friend doesn't want to see me anymore (presumably because she knows I'm annoyed). Which is fine, I feel the same way.

    I guess I'm also annoyed DP will let this girl back in when I know how upset she was about it all. I just want to protect her.

    DP has supported this friend, without any judgment, through two abortions (which nearly ruined her training as she didn't pass the physical training aspect of their course at first), a relationship break down as a result of her cheating, and now her relationship with DPs only other close friend. The fact that she hasn't extended the same understanding to DP makes me so angry and I don't think she's a good friend at all.

  7. #47
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    LifeInShadesOfGrey is offline Just a little bit silly :)
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    Yes I would be annoyed and would make it known.

  8. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by rainbow road View Post
    I can see both sides.

    Which is why I'd have no problem inviting her to the wedding - not my business at all! - but wouldn't really want them in the bridal party.

    Your friend's partner sounds a bit insecure. I'm sorry you missed his wedding
    Oh yeah I completely agree which is why I was hurt to not be invited at all. It bothers me more so because she is SO nice to my face and doesn't realize her husband told me of her hatred for me! Oh well

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    You asked, I answered, and then gave my opinion. I must have mis-read one of your posts to have thought she was one of your DP's best mates who'd known her a few years, so I apologise for the misunderstanding on that part.

    I do, however, stand by the rest. Your best friends are the ones who tell you the things that you don't WANT to hear, but you need to regardless, if only so you have a different perspective on things. Good friends are the ones who tell you things that you do, to make you happy.

    And it wasn't meant in an angry way, it's just how I speak when I get frustrated and angry with situations like this. And so it wasn't aimed at you, just general frustration, mainly because I was in that situation and it's one of the most frustrating things ever, so I feel sorry for other people in it and frustrated on their behalf.
    So I apologise if you took it to heart, I didn't mean to offend you by my angryness.

  10. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennaisme View Post
    I actually think you're wrong. oO
    Uhh.. So you're complaining because your DP has a friend who voices her concerns to your DP, someone she's known longer than you have, and therefore, she would know her pretty well?
    I frequently tell my best mate when I think he's making a dumb@rse decision, and if his DP doesn't like me for it(which she didn't, for a very long time, because it went against what she wanted) I told her to go and eff herself and stop trying to get a hold of his house, his money and everything else that means anything to him.
    Why? Because I'm his best mate. I look out for him. I've known him much longer than she has, and I knew him a lot better at this point. When I found out they were having unprotected s3x, you can bet your **** I verbally belted the crap out of him for being so irresponsible and effing stupid.
    I know that as much as she hated me at the time, she knew I was doing what was best for him, and looking out for him as I saw fit and always have.
    Honestly, if I were you, as much as you might hate her for it, I'd gtf over it and realise she was looking out for your DP, and you're trying to ban one of the only genuine friends she has just because she voiced concerns and you didn't like it.
    I think you're projecting a smidge?

    OP, you be right.


 

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