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  1. #21
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    Grumpysmurf - I read over your post and got tears in my eyes. You sound like you have, and are doing an amazing job well said!!!!

  2. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to SunshineMunky For This Useful Post:

    Ffrenchknickers  (12-08-2012),grumpysmurf  (12-08-2012)

  3. #22
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    Well I take full responsibility for the situation I am in.
    Although neither father is "deadbeat" both love their kids and take good care of them they made crap partners. And I should have never gone there.
    With one I was young and naive and with the other I was ummmm insane I think is the word. Just so crazy inlove I didn't see the situation for what it was and I take full responsibility for that.
    I actually don't blame either one of them for anything that happened.

    But then I was never in an abusive relationship.
    I was just stupid plain and simple.

    Being abused by a man is never a woman's fault. Ever!
    Victim blaming is not cool.

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    VicPark  (13-08-2012)

  5. #23
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    I am SO confused as to how this can even be in question??

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    MissMuppet  (12-08-2012)

  7. #24
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    Yep well said Benji, why oh why are women so judgement to each other. I have also procreated with an idiottttt but in weighting up the decision to have her the deciding factor was her right to life regardless of her dodgy parentage. I take pride in my personal responsibly to her everyday. Im a good and responsible mother also. It's hard slog raising kids on your own, I couldn't be prouder of my child, be damned if I'm going to slink around in a hair shirt and be made to feel negative about it.

  8. #25
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    Aw thanks tasha

    Sent from my GT-I9000 using BubHub

  9. #26
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    I still just can't fathom how a single parent with a drop kick F/MOB hasn't taken responsibility????? The responsibility that it takes In raising a child and raising a child on your own at that sure as sh!t outweighs the "responsibility" you take when "choosing" partners.

  10. #27
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    Um... I really don't get the "well you should have chosen a better father for your child" argument. In most cases (when he doesn't have other kids) she hasn't had any opportunity to see what kind of father he is BEFORE he becomes a father, so how on earth would she know until he does?

    It's a bit like saying "well you shouldn't have chosen to have kids with someone who was going to die in an accident three years later" or something like that..

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    beebs  (12-08-2012),~ElectricPink~  (12-08-2012)

  12. #28
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    You are meant to have magic powers where you can see into the future and realise that your ex was as deadbeat and then not procreate with him apparently. I mean - it isn't like your child is a complete blessing right??

    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    Considering a good 80% of children of separation live with their mother I would say absolutely.

    I haven't read the other thread but I do know my son's father is a deadbeat, rarely sees him by choice because he would rather act like a teenager, doesn't pay CS,smokes in the house etc. DS lives with me, I work to earn enough to have enough money to feed, clothe and house him, tuck him in every night, make every meal for him, make the decisions re education, health and everything else. Not sure what else I'm meant to do really.

  13. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by beebs View Post
    You are meant to have magic powers where you can see into the future and realise that your ex was as deadbeat and then not procreate with him apparently. I mean - it isn't like your child is a complete blessing right??
    Haha yep. And maybe if I hadn't been told for many years that I was ugly and stupid and nobody else would ever want or love me maybe I would have known that I could leave before I accidentally fell pregnant! But, of course, I am sure I somehow deserved the bad treatment and should have taken responsibility for that, too!

  14. #30
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    I constantly feel guilty about having a baby with a loser.
    If I had a time machine, I would honestly change things.
    I would scream at 22yr old me to run far far away from someone I KNEW I wasn't meant to be with. I was so desperate for "something" that I stayed with him.
    It makes life so so hard.
    I exhausted from it at the moment.


 

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