+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 4 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 33
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    14,750
    Thanks
    2,078
    Thanked
    3,540
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts

    Exclamation **Spin Off**, Deadbeat dads/sperm donors and women 'taking' responsibility

    **Spin Off**

    Do you think women don't take responsibility for a situation where the 'father' is a deadbeat?

  2. The Following User Says Thank You to WorkingClassMum For This Useful Post:

    Ra Ra Superstar  (12-08-2012)

  3. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    1,224
    Thanks
    171
    Thanked
    307
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    hmmm do u mean for choosing the deadbeat in the first place?
    or for him remaining or becoming one?

    Sent from my GT-I9000 using BubHub

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    14,750
    Thanks
    2,078
    Thanked
    3,540
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by grumpysmurf View Post
    hmmm do u mean for choosing the deadbeat in the first place?
    or for him remaining or becoming one?

    Sent from my GT-I9000 using BubHub
    All 3

  5. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    19,776
    Thanks
    5,212
    Thanked
    7,063
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 posts
    Considering a good 80% of children of separation live with their mother I would say absolutely.

    I haven't read the other thread but I do know my son's father is a deadbeat, rarely sees him by choice because he would rather act like a teenager, doesn't pay CS,smokes in the house etc. DS lives with me, I work to earn enough to have enough money to feed, clothe and house him, tuck him in every night, make every meal for him, make the decisions re education, health and everything else. Not sure what else I'm meant to do really.

  6. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Benji For This Useful Post:

    twotrunks  (12-08-2012),WorkingClassMum  (12-08-2012)

  7. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    19,776
    Thanks
    5,212
    Thanked
    7,063
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 posts
    Ahh, ok. Well I am responsible for my own behaviour, I can't control his. He is responsible for his own mistakes, I take no responsibility for his actions.

  8. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Benji For This Useful Post:

    Maia  (12-08-2012),twotrunks  (12-08-2012)

  9. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    3,678
    Thanks
    788
    Thanked
    1,847
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    i do think women often chose not so great men to procreate with and then throw their hands in the air and act shocked he is a deadbeat dad....i wonder if they are being deliberately blind...i mean, if he was unemployed and spent all his time playing computer games/drinking/smoking...did you really expect him to be an awesome father?

    Or, getting preg to men they don't know...and expecting a lot from them...not a good idea.

    However, some men do change...for better and worse. Some will step up and some will step down (hide income, quit work, not show up, get abusive) and this is harder to allow for.

    So, in some cases, yes, i think women need to take responsibility for breeding with a clear loser...but sometimes, it is beyond their ability to see that they will turn into a loser.

  10. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    1,700
    Thanks
    358
    Thanked
    503
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    o
    Last edited by GuestMember; 14-07-2014 at 19:59.

  11. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to GuestMember For This Useful Post:

    Alexander Beetle  (12-08-2012),Ellewood  (12-08-2012),LotusMum  (13-08-2012),shelle65  (12-08-2012)

  12. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    694
    Thanks
    120
    Thanked
    116
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I know of sperm donors that started off doing the right thing, marrying then taking responsibility for 10-12 months, then leave mother and child, cut themselves out of their Childs life completely, tell the mother that if they try to claim cs they will quit their job and live off the good will of their parents and find himself a younger newer model... I know a guy that is like this and has 4 kids and his grand daughter is older than his youngest child...

    He started out like a 'good' father but just did a complete 180

    Sent from my GT-I9100T using BubHub

  13. #9
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Perth
    Posts
    8,544
    Thanks
    1,351
    Thanked
    2,307
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Sometimes woman choose men who they think are normal and then the men does a 360 and becomes an **** hat..

    So what about that?

    Should that woman take responsibility for his behavior? If she never saw that behavior previously?

  14. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    3,678
    Thanks
    788
    Thanked
    1,847
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    i see it more as...if a guy has sex and a baby is made...he is told "well, you know that this could happen and now you have to deal with it".

    The reverse side of that is for the woman "you chose to lay down and have sex with THIS man...you have to live with the consequences of that".

    Just like for the guy...he has no say in whether she keeps the baby etc...

    The woman has chosen the father of her child...if she chose a loser (a clear one, not one that suddenly changes) or someone she does not know...she bears some responsibility in that.

    I am not saying it makes him any better or removes any of his responsibility...just that she should own the fact that she chose badly!


 

Similar Threads

  1. Couple seeking info on sperm donors
    By tesstara in forum Non-IVF fertility assistance
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 16-10-2012, 04:56
  2. Replies: 81
    Last Post: 15-05-2012, 17:31
  3. taking responsibility for your recovery when depressed
    By sajimum in forum General depression and blues
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 17-01-2012, 14:26

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Springfree Trampoline
Give the Ultimate Christmas Gift Springfree Trampoline
The World's Safest Trampoline™ is now also the world's first Smart Trampoline™. Sensors on the mat detect your every move and your jumps control fun, educational and active games on tablet. Secure the Ultimate Christmas Gift today!
sales & new stuffsee all
CarmelsBeautySecrets
Growing your own natural nails is easy. Years ago, I devised a simple and very effective technique which really helps boosts the nails' growth in as little as three days! And most importantly keeps them that way.
featured supporter
121Temps
For the last 10 years 121 Temps has helped thousands of personal assistants/others to set up and work as a virtual assistant from home. Our services include: - One-2-One Mentoring - Online Training/Courses - Handbook, Toolkits, Templates & more.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!