It's more of a weakness to not seek help and acknowledge there are problems.
I would rather go through a messy breakup then have my kids exposed to this - just as he was.
Break the cycle.
Without the context you provided, the comment alone, to me, says, "I love you but boy are you difficult to handle at times... but because I love you, I try to overlook that..."
BUT... with the additional info, it sounds like you both have issues that could be helped with counselling. I also think that he's perhaps irritated by the smaller things simply because the bigger things exist. By that i mean, he might not be so bothered about the kettle, etc, if you didn't have huge blow-outs involving punching and swearing...
I don't have PTSD and if my husband spoke to me like that, I would be less than impressed. TBH he sounds like he belongs in the dark ages when the women did treat their husbands like gods who couldn't do anything. He is just as capable of filling the kettle as you are.
Ok, so you haven't been perfect either because of the PTSD, but he should be more understanding and help you with that. Not push your buttons deliberately to get a reaction.
I have a 5 month old and a 3yo and am busy with them. You have more kids! He should be your partner and help. Not expect you to wait on him which is sounds he does.
like PP said, break the cycle. I wouldn't want my children to see my DH treat me that way and for my DS to think it was ok to treat women like that and for my DD to think she should be treated that way. If he wants to fix things, he needs counseling and you both could benefit from marriage counseling too.
He splattered your nose across your face, he verbally abuses you, he treats you like crap, hun you are so much better than that.
He doesnt deserve someone like you.
Massive hugs and if i can help out in any way i am willing to.
Last edited by Lincolns mummy; 12-08-2012 at 16:11.
Look I think it is fair enough to be working/staying in a marriage if you have both committed to working on things but it sounds like he is completely in denial and won't make any changes. I'm not saying just leave but I'd really be demanding he seek some help.
thanks for all of the replies. dp and i sat down and had a big talk and he has agreed to come to relationship counselling. he actually took me out for lunch then had the younger 2 kids while i went and got my hair done (not something he ever suggests i do off his own accord, so its a start!) just to clarify as well, when i said earlier in the thread that i used to punch, kick and throw, it was always inanimate objects, not dp (or anyone else) at most definitely not at anyone. im hoping that things really work out this time. ive expressed to him how much it hurts that the kids have to live like this, and if it ever happens again i will be out the door quicker than he can say sorry.
Seriously? He's emotionally abusing you, physically abused you and you staying? I always tell my DH that DD is learning from him what to expect from her future husband and he's teaching DS how to be a husband. Do you want your children to grow up to marry someon like him or be someone like him? Men like this don't change. Leave if not for u for your kids.
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Its been said in this house hold before. I take it as still an I love you but what ever the situation may be at the time may be causing frustration or something which would cause teh rest of the sentence. I dont take it as meaning Im loved any less.
However if in doubt, go to counselling wIll benefit you alot.
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