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  1. #1
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    Default Weaning help for an extended feeder please

    I need some help weaning my DS by 3 years old. I love our feeding relationship, but it's time to stop. It upsets DH and everyone else who still knows we feed.
    Feeding for 3 years is one year longer than I said I would so it's time to stop. I have 3 months to wean him. He is on 3 feeds a day- 2 if he doesn't do a day sleep. We are cutting out the day sleep now as he doesn't sleep without feeding down. I've tried for months to cut the wake up feed- but his days when we manage it are awful. Whining tantrums and clingy ness all day. He also feeds before bed at night. If he doesn't sleep during the day he's do tired he feeds to sleep. If he's had a sleep he feeds, then lays down with me until he sleeps. Usually about 30 mins. If I feed him on waking he sometimes sleeps a little longer which doesn't help as it encourages me to feed as he wakes between 4.45 and 5.15 every morning (anyone who's been here a while knows how crappy a sleeper ds is- so it's been hard to stop feeding for that reason too)

    Can anyone give me some advice or suggestions? We are also TTC again- so weaning will help there too.

  2. #2
    headoverfeet's Avatar
    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    I can tell you how I did it but I really don't think you should wean unless you are ready too. Why are you letting people pressure you into doing something your not ready for?

    I cut down with both my boys at 3yrs by cutting the length of the feeds, it was a gradual gentle process they would eventually just have a few sucks then I would ask them to stop, eventually I would just try distracting them when they asked for a feed sometimes it worked sometimes it didn't eventually they just stopped asking.
    Last edited by headoverfeet; 11-08-2012 at 22:32.

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    babybabycakes  (11-08-2012),GuestMember  (11-08-2012)

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    Quote Originally Posted by babybabycakes View Post
    I need some help weaning my DS by 3 years old. I love our feeding relationship, but it's time to stop. It upsets DH and everyone else who still knows we feed.
    .
    I weaned my DS1 at 2yrs 9 months because I was absolutely over it, not because of what anyone else thought.

    If you and your DS are still happy then you shouldn't have to wean IMO. That said, I'll happily pm you with my technique.

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    I don't think im too much of a fan of extended bf'ing but I have to say... Don't stop doing something just because others have a problem with it... Stop only when you feel it it 100% the right thing to do otherwise you will regret it.

    Best of luck...

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    My dh is from a family of formula feeders and my mum thought the limit was 6 months. Dh expected me to bf for no longer than 6 months either. Since having ds he has become pro breastfeeding, but 3 years is his limit. He's tired of it and I've asked a lot for him to accept feeding this long. I wish western society would accept full term feeding more readily but as a society we dont. Also At some point dh and i have to compromise and 3 is it.

    I guess I should feel proud we've been able to feed till 3- but I feel sad it's ending too

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    Quote Originally Posted by babybabycakes View Post
    My dh is from a family of formula feeders and my mum thought the limit was 6 months. Dh expected me to bf for no longer than 6 months either. Since having ds he has become pro breastfeeding, but 3 years is his limit. He's tired of it and I've asked a lot for him to accept feeding this long. I wish western society would accept full term feeding more readily but as a society we dont. Also At some point dh and i have to compromise and 3 is it.

    I guess I should feel proud we've been able to feed till 3- but I feel sad it's ending too
    Oh I hear you, my family were all FFeeders and DH's mum went until 6 months max (any longer was indulgent).

    I just feel sad that you have to stop doing something that feels so right for you

    I ended up weaning cold turkey (at 2 years, 9 months and 8 day to be exact!) because after nine months of trying every gradual weaning technique, nothing worked, so I did what I did (again not to be all cloak and dagger but I'll pm you if interested) DS1 is now 4.5 and he still fondly remembers his boob.

    Good luck

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    Quote Originally Posted by babybabycakes View Post
    My dh is from a family of formula feeders and my mum thought the limit was 6 months. Dh expected me to bf for no longer than 6 months either. Since having ds he has become pro breastfeeding, but 3 years is his limit. He's tired of it and I've asked a lot for him to accept feeding this long. I wish western society would accept full term feeding more readily but as a society we dont. Also At some point dh and i have to compromise and 3 is it.

    I guess I should feel proud we've been able to feed till 3- but I feel sad it's ending too
    I really think you need to think about whether your going to resent him for his demand that you stop later on.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Thermolicious View Post
    I really think you need to think about whether your going to resent him for his demand that you stop later on.
    I hope to remember that he accomodated my wishesdespite his earlier views and to celebrate the time we did feed. Dh has accommodated a lot- and he resents it now- so its his current resentment versus my maybe resentment. I don't want to loose my marriage over this and I fear it will get to that. 3 years is a good run, and weaning may help us conceive- as well as helping ds to not feel displaced by a new bub who needs to feed as well if he continues to feed.

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    Shameless bumpity bump for the morning crew

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    Oh, I am also wanting to wean my 2y4month old. Similar feeding schedule to yours, right down to him getting out of bed at 4-5 every day!!

    At the moment I'm not offering. But that is not working very well. If I say no when he asks there is massive tantrums and he screams out feed, feed, mummy feed. I am so tired that it is just easier to feed him.

    I do think my extended feeding has hurt my marriage, and have a lot of pressure on me to wean too. Some of it is pressure from him wanting to help eg I'll take him for a holiday but I can't while your feeding.

    I also want to go on a crazy shake diet to kick start my weight loss and am using bfeeding as an excuse not to diet.

    So keep the advice coming.


 

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