do your in laws follow your routine when they babysit? mine never do. every time, they are not fed at all, ds never has his nappy changed, (been in the same nappy for 6 hours - i know this as when they are babysitting at their place, i have 3 nappies in the nappy bag, and there are still 3 in there when we get back. the nappy is almost falling off him how wet and heavy it is.)
same as when they are babysitting at our place, even if i make the kids dinner and leave it for them to feed them, (eg: if we are going to a wedding and it will be a late night etc), we get home at midnight and the kids which are 3.5 and 22 months old are STILL up!!! and she will say to me that they ate nothing, ''they weren't hungry''... right... thanks for that. and same as above, no pj's nothing.. all i find is the dishes from all their coffee's etc that they made themselves and dumped in the sink for me to wash and a complete mess everywhere.
i find it irritating beyond belief, what is the point of babysitting?! if i have to do so much when we get home?... they complain when they don't see the kids every now and then, but then when they do get given the opportunity to look after them, it's like this. no matter what i say it falls on deaf ears. last night she told dh to 'smack'' dd, as she was having a cry about something ds took from her, (as kids do...) and then she said she was obstinate and how will we control her when she is 16?.. ffs. i told her in no uncertain terms, there is no point in smacking her, weather i do or don't makes no difference it only makes her worse, and anyway she's only 3.5, what does she expect?! for her to sit there and do nothing quietly all night.. then she said she only ever wants to babysit ds not dd as she ''is very energetic''.. well i responded if she won't watch them together then she won't at all. it's not fair.
i don't know how anyone else's in laws are as grandparents, but mine will never ever treat the kids to anything... not even a pack of bikkies all year round. they cry they are broke but then mil will brag and show us dresses she buys which are $800 and shoes that are $300... (obviously you're not broke then). not even a flipping card of congrats when the kids were born.
sometimes i wonder HOW these people had 3 kids.. it boggles my mind. they are so useless it's as if you're babysitting them, not the other way around at times.. when i had dd, they would come over up to 5 times a week. and wake her when she was asleep in the bassinette. same as ds. or come over at 11am unannounced (sometimes announced) and STILL be sitting there come 10pm after i have had to make them lunch and dinner. they wouldn't even move their plates from the table, i'd have to wash everything up myself, plus tend to the kids, far out, i have better things to do!!! get a life. aargh. i'm pregnant with #3 and im dreading after the birth like you wouldn't believe. i feel like i will be bombarded with the constant visits/sitting around till god knows when, and getting the kids hypo and then when they start crying, ''we're going now, we don't want to listen to ds crying,we hate crying, we leave that up to you to deal with'''... gee thanks!! for you non existant help.
dh has also tried talking to them about some things, but again it's like talking to a brick wall. they just don't change. SIL told me when they used to babysit her kids, they would get the same thing, plus be bombarded with calls every 20 mins about ''ds won't stop crying, i hate it, can't handle it, cancel where you're going and come back and get him''.. once she went to pick her dd up, who was only 11 months old and she had been knocking for 2-3 minutes at the door, only to look thru the window to see mil asleep on the couch and her dd walking around touching things.. she said she literally bashed the window down for a good 5 minutes screaming at her to wake up and open the door, and when mil finally did wake up she denied she was sleeping.... only resting - when sil told her she could have gone to the kitchen and swallowed something from one of her cabinets under the sink. (that's where she kept her chemicals. )
then i have a friend who gets her kids babysat by her in laws for 3-4 nights in a row so they can have time to themselves, and she STILL complains.. far out, lets swap in laws and it'll give you something to complain about! mine have never ever had them over night, nor do they want to.
sorry for the stupid long vent. had to get it out!!