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  1. #1
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    Default Spin off.. high school parties

    Will you allow your child to go to high school parties? Will you insist parents are going to be there? Will you expect that they don't drink alcohol? Up until what age will you be putting conditions on them? Will they have a curfew?
    I think my mum and dad attempted to make me follow rules until I was about 16 (I never did though.. evil and sneaky teenager) and after that they basically just let me do whatever I wanted at night. Looking back they were so trusting!

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    FearlessLeader's Avatar
    FearlessLeader is offline Winner 2013 - Most Memorable Thread
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    I will teach my kids about responsible drinking, and then let them go, promising to contact me if they need me for anything. I drank underage and went to unsupervised parties, and there are times i cringe when I think of how lucky I was that nothing bad happened to me, but i think on the whole my friends and i were pretty responsible.
    The best thing my mum ever taught me was if things started seeming like something dodgy might happen at a party (people getting just too drunk, or aggro or whatever) to find my friends, leave the party and once we'd gone, call the cops. I did that so many times and it kept us safe.

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    bumMum  (11-08-2012)

  4. #3
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    It would depend entirely on my teenager.

    I had a lot of freedom from 14 onwards, but I also never ever got into trouble

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    bumMum  (11-08-2012)

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    For me (FOB and I aren't together): Yes, my child will be be allowed to go. I will expect that there will be no alcohol consumed, and will state the fact (although am expecting there will be alcohol consumed as I know what I was like as a teen). There will definitely be a curfew (and I will be happy to pick my child and any friends up from said party/parties and do a drop off on the way home) and I think the age this will be accepted from will be maybe 14.

    I know that parties changed every year for me. I know its different these days but at 14 for me, I was still having sleepover girl-only parties at that age. From there on it became boy/girl sleepover without any alcohol, then slowly alcohol was introduced from 15/17 years old. When my Mum was aware of what was happening and where I was, and when she was happy to pick me up there was less alcohol consumed and I knew I would be safe and home in bed that night.

    I think I'll do a similar thing.

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    bumMum  (11-08-2012)

  8. #5
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    Theophania is offline 'see what had happened was..there were these three ninjas and a blue monkey and well it really wasn't my fault..'
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    Why would I deny my children the excitement of going against your parents wishes and the adrenalin rush of possibly getting caught I won't allow them to go to drunken parties etc but I am not silly I know it will happen...

    I did it and I expect they will too. I think I would be ok with it once they hit 16 years old. I hope though that my kids have better sense than I had, but yanno at 13-14 years old I thought I was incredibly clever and 'street smart'...
    Last edited by Theophania; 10-08-2012 at 20:07.

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  10. #6
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    We judge each party on it's merits.
    We dont allow alcohol at parties.
    They don't go to parties where I don't know the parents and there attitude to drugs and alcohol.

    We also have the standing arrangement with my kids and there friends, that if they got into trouble or could see trouble coming they could ring us and we would come no matter the hour, no questions asked.

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    bumMum  (11-08-2012)

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    Up until senior I will insist that there is a parent there and that I know/have spoken to the parent.... Once they're in senior (grade 11-12) I will start letting them make more decisions including going to parties that are perhaps unsupervised etc. but I will be dropping off and picking up.

    My parents had the same sort of plan, and yes I did go to parties and get drunk a few times in grade 11 and 12 but I was always safe in the knowledge that dad would come and pick me up no matter what time, so I really didn't go too far.... A few times I had hideous hangovers and mum just brought Vegemite toast and a cuppa into me.... They didnt buy me alcohol but they didnt lose the plot when I drank either which made me not want to rebel......

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    OJandMe is offline I am the strength my children will have.
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    Well.. I went to parties and had a ton of fun, but there was never any alcohol.. there was lots of dancing, lots of pool fights lots of crazy ideas and weird food games a HEAP of laughing... but no alcohol, no drugs and generally a parent within easy reach.

    When I had parties my Mum would go next door to the neighbours and hang there... so she wasn't 'cramping our style' but was still close enough to jump the fence in case of emergency

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    DS will be able to attend parties I hope that he will be smart enough not to get himself into trouble but i will make sure he knows that if he does he can call us at anytime to get him. We will supply a few drinks if he wishes. Parental supervision until at least 16 and after that i guess it depends on the type of party.
    My sister is almost 17 and goes out most weekends. She has a couple of drinks, nothing excessive. She knows as do her friends they can call me or our dad at anytime and we will be there. She has a great group of friends that i completely trust.

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    My opinion is clouded by my own experiences. Looking back parties were ALL about drinking/drugs/sex. I'm scared. But we will take it one party at at time. Conversations about such things start now and I am sure each of my children will be different.

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