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  1. #1
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    Default Pressure to perform - I need to vent!!!

    Hi Mummas & Mummas to be

    So this post is just a pure vent & it's going to be a long one!!!

    I'm pregnant with our first child & was due last Saturday, the 4th. I'm so over this pregnancy but more for the fact that I am feeling way too much pressure from everyone else to have this baby!! I have my in-laws up who arrived on the 1st & their reasoning - well you're due on the 4th so we'll arrive on the 1st & stay put until you have the baby!! Ah, was there ever a thought in your mind that I may not want that!!! Then they have to leave by the 15th as they have a new home to move into back in Sydney & they have to make sure there back there by the 23rd (as they're driving) - hellooooo, did you ever think that if I went 10 days over, you're not even going to see the baby!! So why didn't you wait until he/she was born to come up!!! And then I'm feeling upset about the fact that my FIL has to have a kidney operation when he gets home & there is a 50% chance he may not pull through (he has all sorts of problems that are not good ) then my MIL is on the verge of being diagnosed with Dimmentia so she may not even remember us when we get to see her again!!

    Then there are all the text messages, FB messages & phone calls from friends & family saying ''where is this baby?'', ''haven't you had it yet?'', ''you know that every week you go over the baby puts on 1/2 a kilo - you're going to be huge!'', ''babies that are overdue have jaundice'', ''I want to see this baby!'' - would you all just keep your f***ing mouth shut!!!!!!!! Do you not think that I - the mother - wants to see this baby too & more than anyone wants to know when he/she is going to pressence us with it's grace.

    Then (yep, I'm not done yet) my hubby has clients calling pressuring him to finish their job off which is 1.5hour drive away from home, based in the middle of no-where & is a construction where once you start you can't just stop in the middle of it otherwise you ruin the job - concrete & no-one waits for concrete!! He told them in the begining to get their s**t organised in July so he could finish as once this baby was born he was taking 2 weeks off to bond with him/her & be there for me, but noooooo, that is just selfish talk!!!

    I even woke up this morning determined to call my hospital & just tell them to book me in today to be induced just so everyone else can be pleased with knowing baby is on it's way - stupid pregnant hormones talking there!!

    I'm feeling so much pressure from all of this & my husband is as well. Why can't everyone just understand that babies don't always come on their due date & to let nature take it's course & if babies are overdue - be bloody patient & keep your f***ing mouth shut!!!!!

    Thanks for putting up with the swearing & feel free to leave your own stories or leave the sympathy messages too!!

  2. #2
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    Oh I can so relate. I actually turned off my phone and laptop so I could escape the constant messages from well-intentioned family and friends. It really got me down too, and I felt such weight lift once I did this.

    I think the 40th and 41st week of my pregnancy were worse than the actual labour and birth (because of the pressure you described), but it'll pass and your beautiful baby will be here soon enough. Oh, and born past EDD certainly doesn't mean a big baby. My bub was still only 7 pound.

  3. #3
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    I know how you feel. I am getting induced on Monday baby is small for dates & yesterday we found out what time I will need to go to Hostpital & I wasn't telling anyone sept for my mum because she has to watch DS. I just don't want to be in labour & everyone asking is she here yet or putting pressure on like they are now. Grr it's so annoying isn't it.

    Good luck for your birth & relax as much as you can

  4. #4
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    My baby was 6 days late and he was 6pound 12 or 3.07kg so definitely not big.

    Maybe you should put a msg on fb to say that you will let everyone know when the baby arrives and to please stop asking because it is stressful to be reminded multiple times a day that you are late. Some people don't realise this because they've never been pregnant. Other people know full well what it is like and could do with a reminder.

    I'm not sure what you can do about your in laws but it sounds like you need to plan something to de-stress. Maybe book a massage so you can relax and enjoy feeling your baby move because you won't get that once it is out.

    I'm on my second pregnancy and have been very vague on telling people my due date so I don't have to deal with these questions

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    Hung OP your bub will come when it's ready. I feel you pain I was a week OD with our first bub last year. DP was on school holidays (he's a teacher) and wanted it all to happen before he had to go back to school. My parents had driven 10 hours up just before my due date so they didn't miss anything, but had to be back due to commitments with their business. Plus, like you all the well meaning calls and texts. It's hard going and I feel for you. Every grimace is meet with "is it happening"!

    I ended in pre labour Sunday went to the hospital for a check up that evening and was 4 cm. I opted to go home and the midwife said see we'll see you early this morning. The next morning I called for a call saying to come in because I'd been in pre labour for a while and they wanted to check bub. Had my waters broken to move things along. My DS was born 5 hours latter. DP started back at school the next day (had a week off once I was home from hospital) and my parents left the next day. It all came together in the end.

    Wishing you all the best

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    Oh and DS was only 7lb so not big at all!

  7. #7
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    I haven't had to deal with this as DD came the day before she was due, but I can imagine how hard it must be for you dealing with all that crap.

    I agree that you need to let people know that them asking is not helping and that you need some space. Sometimes people just don't think about the consequences of their questioning until they're told.

    As for the in-laws, nothing much you can do about them . Bubs won't work on their schedule.

    I agree that you need to go off for a few hours, turn off your phone and take some time out for yourself with a massage, pedi, etc. You know that bubs will be here sooner rather than later.

    Ignore what people are saying about a big baby. They aren't doctors and don't know your bubs so they're just been unproductive and unhelpful.

  8. #8
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    Yep, I got that with DD1. We put a msg on the homephone saying I was resting and we would call when baby arrived. I turned off mobile, I was so over eeryone being so consumed with the 'gossip' of what we were calling bub, when she would arrive etc.
    Thankfully DD2 came 4w early, surprised everyone. Oh, btw, both my babies were jandice, didnt matter their gestation was 5w different and bw 1.5kg different. Just enjoy your time.

    Sent from my LG-P500 using BubHub

  9. #9
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    Omg massive hugs what situations to be in! I can relate in the sense a little about the inlaws - I like my inlaws but have only met them twice due to busy lives and they live interstate too - well they TOLD me they would be here on my due date. We politely asked them to fly over and see us 2 weeks later of thereabouts its not that we don't want them here at a special time but it's our first baby too and my parents are here all the time but because they don't see us often and are interests guests I don't want to feel like I need to pop out the child then entertain them straight away! They agreed to come later on so that pressure is off which is good I can't imagine how you feel about yours waiting for you to have the baby...

    I have a friend who did say all the messages of "have you had the baby yet" drove her nuts too she was 10 days over with number 2! And she just thought, if I had the baby wouldn't I tell you?!?

  10. #10
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    Big hugs OP!! I know exactly how you're feeling!!! I went 13 days over with DD and was constantly getting so hassled by messages/calls/fbook I ended up answering the phone with 'no I'm not in labour' (mainly to my dad who rang 4 times a day. I think he was a bit excited)
    Like a PP said, there's not much you can do about the inlaws unfortunately and TBH they have been a bit selfish coming and staying right on your due date. I understand they are probably super excited and have all the best intentions but seriously!?! Hardly any babies come on their due date! It's an estimation for gods sake!
    Definitely turn the phone off and take some time to relax and indulge yourself! Who knows, you might make a mani appointment and your waters will break on your way there =P
    I've got my fingers crossed that your bub will come soon


 

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