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  1. #1
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    Hey all, I've had depression for as long as I can remember but since I was about 15 I started managing and finding ways to take my mind off it and things started getting better. Last year was a year of hell for me but this year I got back on track and started getting better.
    The past few weeks I haven't been coping. I'm not sure what's changed but I just feel so crap all the time again. Yesterday was particularly bad and I'm putting it on the place I'm living in atm. Df and I are living in a share/uni house this year with a couple of his mates so there's five of us in the house. Ive found that when I'm up at uni and in my classes I'm feeling much better but when I get back 'home' Ive been losing it. I feel so empty and worthless. I feel like I'm 14 again - I don't feel like an adult or like I mean anything.
    I've lost all hobbies and interests I used to have, the only thing that makes me smile is baby stuff (how I'd decorate my house once df and I buy, certain things I'd do to raise my kids all that parenting stuff) and when I'm spending proper time with df. I don't want to get clingy to df - he has depression too and if I get clingy he catches the same mood so to speak.
    I don't know what to do I just want a 'purpose' so I can stop feeling so empty. I even set aside some money for some new clothes this week and came home bursting into tears because there was nothing I liked. I'm getting sick of feeling so sh!t!!
    I want to move already but we still have five months left on our lease. I love living in this area because it's different from where I lived until I finished high school but I'm just over it! I want to go back to my hometown and back to my old flat with df and have space and peace and an actual home that I don't hate coming home to!

    I'm not sure if I'm ranting or looking for advice so I'm open to what people have to say.

  2. #2
    Join Date
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    oh no! huge hugs for you! is it possible to find someone to take over the lease? maybe also see your gp for some anti-depressents or counselling?

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  4. #3
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    We've already been trying to find people to take over our lease but if we move from here we'll probably move back to our hometown and can't do that until this semester of uni is over as it's a few hours away.
    I've considered counseling though I don't know what to say? If I knew the answers I wouldn't feel so bad But also I was forced into counseling when I was 17 and the days that I had to go I was just overly cheerful and they stopped my sessions so I'd probably end up like that again. I would never go on anti-depressants as they've caused a lot of problems through my family (particularly in my mother).

    Df was sweet before and brought me an ice cream cone lol so I know I have support I just don't know what to do. I want hobbies that I feel confident with but I just can't think of anything. All the things I love I get outshone in.


 

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