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  1. #1
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    Default Our problems and the ways we are

    Should we use our problems as an excuse for the way we are?

  2. #2
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    No, but sometimes peoples problems can explain why they are how they are... but that doesn't excuse it. If that makes sense?

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    we should just accept others the way they are.

    the things that haapen in your life are what helps to make you the person you are.

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    Quote Originally Posted by inbetweeners View Post
    we should just accept others the way they are.

    the things that haapen in your life are what helps to make you the person you are.
    Agreed!

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    If it comes to a bad attitude and treating others like crap then no.

    We all have problems... The way I see it there is always somebody fighting a harder battle than me no matter what I'm going through

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    Quote Originally Posted by inbetweeners View Post
    we should just accept others the way they are.

    the things that haapen in your life are what helps to make you the person you are.
    I'll run this theory through a few different scenario's.

    It's quite common that adult paedophiles were abused as children, so we should accept them as they are?

    Or someone was rude to me this morning and I'm upset, so that makes it okay for me to snap at the guy at the servo?

    Or my personal childhood experiences have made me cynical and lacking in affection, but I shouldn't try to work on that to be a better parent, my kids should just accept me as I am?

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    I don't think so. I have someone close to me who continually blames her problems and "bad luck" are the reason she can't get on top of life, but the reality is most of those problems are the result of very bad choices.

    That said, there are always exceptions.

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    jagamoe  (11-08-2012)

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    Nope, that is a cop out. Of course people are influeced by their past and their experiences, however to use this as an excuse often means one isn't even going to attempt to change or overcome their issues. People need to take responsibility for their lives, their choices and their future.
    Last edited by Tainted; 09-08-2012 at 09:07. Reason: Grammar (or lack of!)

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    I think it can affect our behaviour but not define us. Having said that some people cope better than others with horrible experiences. In my family I have seen first hand the effects of sexual abuse over numerous sisters (big family), and it's interesting to see how the different personalities have processed and dealt with it over the years. Some hide it behind the bottle, some just moved on, one has serious mental health issues, some use it as an excuse for every thing that goes wrong in their lives and their bad behaviour.
    ETA this is not my sexual abuse, rather my mum and aunties, so I am in no position to say how someone should 'get over it', nor would I ever.

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    'excuse'? ...hmmm...no.

    A valid reason that explains/gives insight?
    ...yep, I think so.


    One person's hurdle may be another person's stepping stone... We all deal with things in different ways.

    It is beneficial to be aware.

    Sent from my LT15i using BubHub

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