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  1. #71
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    For me it was more about identifying us as a family. I took it on as family name rather than just "My husbands name". We could have both changed our names to something completely different like our friends did . Not everyone will use their last names to identify unity like this and that's perfectly ok!

    For me it was less about losing part of my identity and more about recognizing our new family. (Albeit just the two of us to begin with

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    Raising Leprechauns  (08-08-2012)

  3. #72
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    Totally agree with Nosila - its our FAMILY name. DH doesnt own it any more (much like everything else that used to be his..... the couch, the tv....)

    I changed straight away. Never crossed my mind not to. I like being a Mrs. I also like having doors opened and gentlemen offering to help with something. Guess I'm old fashioned.

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    Elijahs Mum  (09-08-2012)

  5. #73
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elijahs Mum View Post
    I am changing my last name to DH,s (been married for 4 years but I have kept my maiden name) but I now want to have the same name as my son, I kept my name for work plus didn't really want to give up my last name! But now I just want all 3 of us to have the same last name , after reading the feminist thread - am
    I being anti feminist by doing this - did you take your husbands name when you got married , why or why not?
    This was pretty much me! All along, I did not want to change my name and DH was totally ok with this and did offer to take my name. Once we got married and I thought about kids, I wanted to change my name so we all had the same name. It just didn't feel as important as I once felt about it!

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    Elijahs Mum  (09-08-2012)

  7. #74
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    Yes, because I wanted our family to share the same name. It didn't bother me that I had to change mine, mine was boring anyway

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    Elijahs Mum  (09-08-2012)

  9. #75
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    I wouldn't. I realise other women change their names a lot still asits 'just a name', but to me it's not just a name it's my identity!

    It actually makes me cringe when I hear women being called 'Mrs John Smith' - do she's not even identified by her first name anymore... And it screams of ownership <shivers>. But that's just me.

    Its fine to go whatever you choose, but it's still mostly the female who's asked about it - men are still the. 'default'.

    Haha there's some feminism for y'all

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  11. #76
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    Yes i did

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    Elijahs Mum  (09-08-2012)

  13. #77
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackEyedPea View Post
    I wouldn't. I realise other women change their names a lot still asits 'just a name', but to me it's not just a name it's my identity!
    Me too. My surname is just as important to me as my first name. I can't imagine saying that oh I'll just change my first name, it's just a name. It is a part of me.

    I have friends who weren't invited to the high school reunion because they changed their surname. I wonder how many friends I miss out on catching up with because I can't find them!

    I can understand why others would give their surname up if they are not fussed or do not get along with their family. Personally, I am my parent's daughter, they raised me, I'm known by my name, I love my name. I like DPs name so would add it in to mine, but I would never give up my name.

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  15. #78
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    Yes, i did.
    I hate my maiden name, it has negative connotations for me and i feel no personal connection to it, i was very glad to be rid of it.
    I like that DH, the kids and i all share a last name.

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    Elijahs Mum  (09-08-2012)

  17. #79
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    Yes i am planning on it. I want us to have the same family name, i'm a bit traditional like that. Plus i have 3 brothers and lots of nieces and nephews to carry on my family name. DP doesn't have any yet of that name, to carry it on.

    I think changing your name might be in the minority now though, most of my married friends didn't change their name.

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    Elijahs Mum  (09-08-2012)

  19. #80
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    lambjam is offline Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackEyedPea View Post
    It actually makes me cringe when I hear women being called 'Mrs John Smith' - do she's not even identified by her first name anymore... And it screams of ownership . But that's just me.
    I hate this too, but thankfully no-one's ever called me that.

    I go by Ms and Mrs, but am thinking of switching everything to Ms. I think it's pretty strange that in this day and age a woman's title can still denote her marital status.

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