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  1. #111
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    lambjam is offline Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Clementine Grace View Post
    Also the statement about marriage and having a baby not being an achievement, I also disagree. We've worked so hard ttc and still are. If we do have a baby after all of that, I'll view it as the biggest achievement of my life.
    I've had that statement humming along in the back of my head all morning, and I also disagree. I view both my marriage and my children as my life's biggest achievements to date.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lambjam View Post
    I've had that statement humming along in the back of my head all morning, and I also disagree. I view both my marriage and my children as my life's biggest achievements to date.
    And I assume (hope!) your husband would say the same..?

  4. #113
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    Quote Originally Posted by shelle65 View Post
    And I assume (hope!) your husband would say the same..?
    He would, but his career would also make the list. Given that I'm a SAHM it makes sense that I consider my family as an achievement in a different way than he does. It's what I do all day every day, it better bloody be an achievement or else I'm wasting my time!

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    Quote Originally Posted by lambjam View Post
    He would, but his career would also make the list. Given that I'm a SAHM it makes sense that I consider my family as an achievement in a different way than he does. It's what I do all day every day, it better bloody be an achievement or else I'm wasting my time!
    Of course it is! I guess the earlier comment was said in the context of when you change your name, which is generally at the beginning of the marriage - you hadn't achieved all you have now at that stage (although as someone pointed out, getting to the married stage can be an achievement in a relationship). At that stage all you've really achieved is a wedding - not a marriage. If that makes sense...?

  7. #115
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    Quote Originally Posted by shelle65 View Post
    Of course it is! I guess the earlier comment was said in the context of when you change your name, which is generally at the beginning of the marriage - you hadn't achieved all you have now at that stage (although as someone pointed out, getting to the married stage can be an achievement in a relationship). At that stage all you've really achieved is a wedding - not a marriage. If that makes sense...?
    I see what you're saying, however it can also be true that for many couples a wedding is an achievement in itself. We faced many obstacles in our first years, and it speaks volumes of my husband's character and love for me that we made it as far as the wedding. Yes, it was an achievement, one that I believe many couples wouldn't have been able to make.

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    Quote Originally Posted by MissMuppet View Post
    I did. Its a personal choice and I don't see it as a feminist issue. I know someone who changed their name to their wife's surname!

    Free choice is a wonderful thing.
    Is it my husband??

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    Quote Originally Posted by lambjam View Post
    I view both my marriage and my children as my life's biggest achievements to date.
    I know mine are my biggest achievements. Being married for all but 20 years is something I am very proud of. My 6 children are my life's work and i couldn't be prouder of them.

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    I view my marriage and family as an achievement also, i can understand why other people wouldn't but i did feel insulted when it was labelled as 'disturbing' by a pp. That's all.

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    Quote Originally Posted by MothersMilk View Post
    I view my marriage and family as an achievement also, i can understand why other people wouldn't but i did feel insulted when it was labelled as 'disturbing' by a pp. That's all.

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    I don't think she said it was disturbing, just that she cringed when she heard it. I'm sure she didn't mean that being married for 20 years isn't an achievement. Given this thread is about taking your husband's name when you get married, I think the comment was aimed at those who think that being "Mrs someone" is an achievement over being "Ms someone". I'm sure that's all that was meant.


 

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