Thanks so much Helen, I will be in touch.
Thanks too Hope, I will have to read back more posts from you. 18 stim cycles, what a strong woman you must be. It toughens you up whether you like it or not hey. Has it been 18 stims spread out with your DS inbetween? Or 18 stims for no. 2? Either way, my hat is off to you.
As for the media culture, I'm going to believe so anyway! I reckon even if it's not the same as genea a change will be good. Perhaps different embryos just fare better under differing conditions anyway, and at the last place they certainly didn't like it!
As for our dear Rocky, I'm trying to learn the lesson from him that life is short and to grab it and live it. We can't go on in this turmoil much longer, so I think we'll give wazza maybe 2 tries. Then I think I can accept to try donor eggs. I didn't give birth to that cat but by god I loved him ferociously! His gift to us might be in moving forward and accepting whatever means we have to take to have our family. Whether it be donor, adoption, however, I'm ready to do it. He showed us how much love we have to give and what we are capable of just by being here and letting us love him. Our hearts melted when he came into our life, and beforehand we had unfortunately started to be hardened and perhaps a bit bitter, as is easy to do going through this. But Rocky showed us that is no way to live and I'm not going to keep stubbornly trying to force my body to do it my way. I'll take whatever love the universe has to give us in any form it comes, it's what my husband and I were made for - to nurture and love. I just don't feel like I need anything more for myself, fancy holidays or things...I just want a family to hold and love. I need that purpose that our dear little cat gave us.
Sorry to go on, but I am promising myself to use the beautiful time we had with our little guy to drive us forward!