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  1. #81
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    Quote Originally Posted by Theophania View Post
    It was both I did feel powerful because of my birth and at the same time I was empowered with the opportunity to make my own decisions regarding my birth. That power didn't just fall to the hospital staff instead I had the power to make those choices. I was empowered The power to make those decisions in my first birth were not present. In that birth I was definitely powerless (or atleast lead to believe I was)
    Gotcha - I think! Thank you

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    What a silly comment! I had an epi after 24hrs of labour, I was exhausted, gas made me throw up. I had the epi got some rest and was ready to push DD out after 30hrs labour. I do not regret my decision one bit. If a woman thinks she's better then me because she didn't have an epi she can go jump in a lake

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    Quote Originally Posted by anewme View Post
    I couldn't Disagree more.

    As a Mum of a child with a high pain threshold I find that insulting. If you really knew what it was like to have a child who doesn't realise they have hurt themselves and continue to do the same thing over and over again because their brain doesn't recognise the pain.
    It is a fact of life that we all have different pain threshold and we handle situations differently. It does makes us better or worse, it makes us human.


    OH BTW I have 6 very different labours with very different pain levels. Some easier and less painful than others.
    ^^ totally!!
    And there are some people whos response to pain stimuli is just not normal - like those who's response is laughter rather than crying! When i feel certain types of pain, it puts me in absolute hysterics Mum says i've never been any different. And my young DS seems to be the same :-/

    But back to topic...

    Empowered?? No. I feel blessed that i had a wonderful positive drug-free birth with my first. It was 63 hours of pure bliss. But i dont feel "empowered" by it. It was no great achievement - just a completely natural act that has been going on for millenia

    I chose to have an epi with my second because i had DD in the birthing suite with us and i knew i would not be able to concentrate fully on the birth. The epi was great too! I loved both my births! And i certainly dont feel like a failure or "such a girl" for having an epi.

    Every woman is different and every birth is different. I just think isn't it great that we have so many choices these days? That we HAVE epi's and other drugs and life-saving procedures? Its all good

  4. #84
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    Quote Originally Posted by Girl X View Post
    So, do you mean that you felt empowered by the good care providers that you had?

    (And I guess the opposite would be if you felt powerless because of dodgy ones that didn't leave you feeling that you had a choice.)

    OR that you felt powerful because you had achieved the birth you wanted?

    Sorry if it seems like I'm splitting hairs. I'm just trying to understand what people mean by this, as I didn't feel that anyone had empowered me (or taken away my power), but nor did I feel any more or less powerful as an individual based on how I gave birth.
    I think in this context, it's self empowerment. Through knowledge, confidence, assertiveness and understanding on the part of the caregiver (as well as respectfulness and deference to the mothers choices) a woman may feel empowered- so by her own efforts, in conjunction with a cooperative caregiver, she feels empowered- does that make sense?

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  6. #85
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    Quote Originally Posted by Girl X View Post
    Slight side track, but I have to say that I don't fully understand the use of the word 'empowered' when it comes to giving birth.

    By its definition, 'empowered' means to have been GIVEN power or invested in power by someone else.

    I can understand people saying they feel proud, or even powerful, or the opposite of powerless, but to say they are 'empowered' always makes me wonder who they felt gave them that power?

    I know it's pedantic, and I'm genuinely not trying to split hairs. But to me there is a difference.

    FWIW, I felt pretty awesome about my c/s, which I imagine comes even further down on the 'acceptable' list for those bragging about hierarchical birthing strategies. I felt that it was a great experience, and there was nothing I would change. I'm going for another any day.

    To feel 'powerful' (in any way) about the birth is not something that's important to me. I am not saying that for a minute to criticise anyone for whom it does matter, as we all have different feelings and views on this, but for me the overriding concern is the baby coming out healthy in the safest possible way (which, for me, is by c/s). If that happens, then I will feel happy about it all.
    I felt that I was empowered by God. Praying reduces the pain of labour for me. I know you are not religious girl X but for me that was the difference. I didnt pray much with dd1 but dd2 I did and I didn't need pain relief.

    I found it important how I birthed my babies. Whether I was treated respectfully, whether my choices were honoured and mainly that I was kept informed of what was happening and that the choice was up to me. I wanted to make the choice. Not have it shoved down my throat.

    And I think every woman deserves that.

    Quote Originally Posted by Theophania View Post
    I was empowered by being able to make the choices on how I wanted to birth instead of being coerced and quilted by shotty care providers
    Definitely yes.

    Quote Originally Posted by Girl X View Post

    OR that you felt powerful because you had achieved the birth?
    I felt powerful because I stood up for myself and refused to be bullied.

    Quote Originally Posted by Theophania View Post
    It was both I did feel powerful because of my birth and at the same time I was empowered with the opportunity to make my own decisions regarding my birth. That power didn't just fall to the hospital staff instead I had the power to make those choices. I was empowered The power to make those decisions in my first birth were not present. In that birth I was definitely powerless (or atleast lead to believe I was)
    I had the power to tell the replacement ob to shove it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Atropos View Post
    I think in this context, it's self empowerment. Through knowledge, confidence, assertiveness and understanding on the part of the caregiver (as well as respectfulness and deference to the mothers choices) a woman may feel empowered- so by her own efforts, in conjunction with a cooperative caregiver, she feels empowered- does that make sense?
    Well said.

    Sent from my HTC One SV using The Bub Hub mobile app

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  8. #86
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    Quote Originally Posted by Girl X View Post
    Slight side track, but I have to say that I don't fully understand the use of the word 'empowered' when it comes to giving birth.

    By its definition, 'empowered' means to have been GIVEN power or invested in power by someone else.

    I can understand people saying they feel proud, or even powerful, or the opposite of powerless, but to say they are 'empowered' always makes me wonder who they felt gave them that power?

    I know it's pedantic, and I'm genuinely not trying to split hairs. But to me there is a difference.
    I felt empowered and powerful when I birthed DD. DS's birth had left me feeling inadequate, angry and a host of other negative emotions. (He was induced, there was no discussion with me, no options provided and no mention of risks. As a result I had a sh1tty labour and birth which left me with a 3rd degree tear and a lot of bf problems.) For DD's birth I spent hours reading and researching to optimise my chances of having an intervention free birth. (This is the quick answer, there is more detail behind it.) I had strategies in place on what I would do if certain situations arose. When my midwife wanted to book me in for another induction I had the confidence to decline because I was now much more knowledgeable on my options. When labour started I was so thrilled that my body DID know what to do unlike how I felt after DS's birth. I was labouring in the comfort of my home, no canullas, no-one constantly monitoring me, I was experiencing the lifecycle of humans, right here, right now. When I pushed DD out it was how it was supposed to be, how nature had intended. I felt so powerful and amazing. So in summary, I empowered myself with education and strategies to optimise the chance of me having the birth experience I wanted and I felt powerful by being able to birth DD with no interventions.

    I remember getting to the hospital and asking for an internal. Contractions were hard and fast at that point but I had no idea how dilation was going. When the MW told me I was "a good 8cm" I felt so amazing and in awe of my body and myself. (I have tears in my eyes as I recall this moment.) I remember thinking, "OMG, I'm going to do this, I'm actually going to do this all by myself!!"

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  10. #87
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    I remember getting to the hospital and asking for an internal. Contractions were hard and fast at that point but I had no idea how dilation was going. When the MW told me I was "a good 8cm" I felt so amazing and in awe of my body and myself. (I have tears in my eyes as I recall this moment.) I remember thinking, "OMG, I'm going to do this, I'm actually going to do this all by myself!!"
    Gave me goosebumps reading that Bec...


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  12. #88
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    Wow how rude. I'd just say hey there's no prize for going without an epidural. It's not like you get put in the hall of fame or something. At the end of the day as long as you get a healthy baby at the end of it who the frig cares? I'd rather birth as pain free as possible since we have those options available to us now. If people want to go natural good for them.

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    I had an epi after days of labour and I was climbing the walls vomitting and I didn't know my own name....I LOVED the epidural!
    When preg recently with #2 I was asked "so this time will you do it yourself without drugs"....so I replied "when you broke your collarbone did you refuse drugs at the hospital?"
    That shut her up ha!

    For the record I loved my 2nd epi too

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    I don't think any less of someone for having an epidural.

    I had a drug free homebirth and felt incredibly proud of myself for achieving that, BUT I had a horrific pushing stage which lasted 2 hours 47 minutes (she and both her hands by her face) and can vividly remember fantasising about a spinal.

    i think every labor is so individual and how people cope and experience pain is so individual that you can't really be smug and superior with your pain management.

    i had a reasonably quick first stage and while very painful I could cope and was delighted when I reached inside at full dilation and felt her head just inside. ( was thinking if I'm 5 cms it's time to transfer!!!)

    Next time I may need induced and I think if I was on the syntocinon drip I wouldn't be able to do it drug free.


 

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