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  1. #71
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    I have not had an epidural and I can very honestly say I was shouting for one when my daughter got stuck! Too late by then of course, the pain, oh the pain.... That's what happens when your OB believes you are young, fit and healthy and should be fine and leaves you too long so that a delivery that should have been an emergency c-section couldn't be...

    Do I feel fabulous and oh so amazing because I didn't get one? NOPE. I felt exhausted and in agony, I felt like I had been ripped from here to there. I made sure I was open to one with my son "if it was needed" but he was a breeze so I was lucky.

    Who wants pain? With all deliveries you just want your baby, and to get through it. It isn't called holiday, it's labour, and people should be able to go through their very individual labours however they like!

    I think it is rude and presumptuous to comment on another person's choices anyway regarding pain relief. It is her second baby so it isn't like she hasn't made an informed decision!

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  3. #72
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    Honestly what the heck is wrong with people. Should have told her to Get over herself and mind her own business. Why does she honestly care what another woman's birth decisions are.

    I'm just happy when a woman can give birth and have a healthy baby!

  4. #73
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    How ridiculous! I had a natural birth, no drugs whilst I was proud of myself, I don't consider myself "better" because of it. My second labour I was screaming for an epi (and I had one), luckily cause DD2 was stuck & I ended up with an emergency c/s. Ah, the relief from the epi, pure bliss!

    My friend is a midwife and she told me "take whatever drugs you need, nobody hands out certificates on who put up with the most pain".

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    I honestly think the issue is that tons of people do think they are "better" for having a drug free birth. Just as there are those who think they are "better" by baby wearing, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, not co-sleeping, doing BLW, not doing BLW, making everything from scratch organic, not letting their kids watch TV, etc (I.e everything!).

    Whatever! They are not better than anyone else. But nobody is ever going to change their smugness so you just need to be comfortable and confident in your own parenting decisions. Usually most people keep their smugness to themselves.

    And if anyone ever does actually say anything stupid like in the OP, then I would certainly have a conversation about it with them!

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  7. #75
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    I had an epi and a spinal block I also had 2 csections. People will always have something to say be it this or any other parenting thing, ither just let them talk smack and be quietly confident
    About your choices or stand up for your choices.... I found it easier to smile nod and pretnd to agree, saves you a headache lol

    Sent from my PP4MT-7 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    Slight side track, but I have to say that I don't fully understand the use of the word 'empowered' when it comes to giving birth.

    By its definition, 'empowered' means to have been GIVEN power or invested in power by someone else.

    I can understand people saying they feel proud, or even powerful, or the opposite of powerless, but to say they are 'empowered' always makes me wonder who they felt gave them that power?

    I know it's pedantic, and I'm genuinely not trying to split hairs. But to me there is a difference.

    FWIW, I felt pretty awesome about my c/s, which I imagine comes even further down on the 'acceptable' list for those bragging about hierarchical birthing strategies. I felt that it was a great experience, and there was nothing I would change. I'm going for another any day.

    To feel 'powerful' (in any way) about the birth is not something that's important to me. I am not saying that for a minute to criticise anyone for whom it does matter, as we all have different feelings and views on this, but for me the overriding concern is the baby coming out healthy in the safest possible way (which, for me, is by c/s). If that happens, then I will feel happy about it all.
    Last edited by Guest654; 11-06-2013 at 08:13. Reason: typo

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  10. #77
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    True colours shine through! I have a friend like this. Looks down on anyone who has one. Whatever. As if you can understand anyone else's experience unless you had it yourself. I just limit myself to how much time I spend with people so opinionated and above everyone else.

  11. #78
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    Theophania is offline 'see what had happened was..there were these three ninjas and a blue monkey and well it really wasn't my fault..'
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    Quote Originally Posted by Girl X View Post
    Slight side track, but I have to say that I don't fully understand the use of the word 'empowered' when it comes to giving birth.

    By its definition, 'empowered' means to have been GIVEN power or invested in power by someone else.

    I can understand people saying they feel proud, or even powerful, or the opposite of powerless, but to say they are 'empowered' always makes me wonder who they felt gave them that power?

    I know it's pedantic, and I'm genuinely not trying to split hairs. But to me there is a difference.

    FWIW, I felt pretty awesome about my c/s, which I imagine comes even further down on the 'acceptable' list for those bragging about hierarchical birthing strategies. I felt that it was a great experience, and there was nothing I would change. I'm going for another any day.

    To feel 'powerful' (in any way) about the birth is not something that's important to me. I am not saying that for a minute to criticise anyone for whom it does matter, as we all have different feelings and views on this, but for me the overriding concern is the baby coming out healthy in the safest possible way (which, for me, is by c/s). If that happens, then I will feel happy about it all.
    I was empowered by being able to make the choices on how I wanted to birth instead of being coerced and quilted by shotty care providers

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  13. #79
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    Quote Originally Posted by Theophania View Post
    I was empowered by being able to make the choices on how I wanted to birth instead of being coerced and quilted by shotty care providers
    So, do you mean that you felt empowered by the good care providers that you had?

    (And I guess the opposite would be if you felt powerless because of dodgy ones that didn't leave you feeling that you had a choice.)

    OR that you felt powerful because you had achieved the birth you wanted?

    Sorry if it seems like I'm splitting hairs. I'm just trying to understand what people mean by this, as I didn't feel that anyone had empowered me (or taken away my power), but nor did I feel any more or less powerful as an individual based on how I gave birth.

  14. #80
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    Theophania is offline 'see what had happened was..there were these three ninjas and a blue monkey and well it really wasn't my fault..'
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    Quote Originally Posted by Girl X View Post
    So, do you mean that you felt empowered by the good care providers that you had?

    (And I guess the opposite would be if you felt powerless because of dodgy ones that didn't leave you feeling that you had a choice.)

    OR that you felt powerful because you had achieved the birth you wanted?

    Sorry if it seems like I'm splitting hairs. I'm just trying to understand what people mean by this, as I didn't feel that anyone had empowered me (or taken away my power), but nor did I feel any more or less powerful as an individual based on how I gave birth.
    It was both I did feel powerful because of my birth and at the same time I was empowered with the opportunity to make my own decisions regarding my birth. That power didn't just fall to the hospital staff instead I had the power to make those choices. I was empowered The power to make those decisions in my first birth were not present. In that birth I was definitely powerless (or atleast lead to believe I was)

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