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  1. #1
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    Default Nasty epidural comment

    I was at a friends baby shower the other week and we got talking about labour etc my friend mentioned she would be definitely getting an epidural (it's her second baby) a friend of hers (with 2 kids) quite nastily said to her "oh why would you do that?!?! you're such a girl, just go natural like I did" I was gob smacked and it got me wondering if most people who haven't had an epidural feel this way? Does it make them feel more empowered than women who have an epidural? (genuine question)
    Just got me wondering people's thoughts on this, cos I had never heard a comment like that before!
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    It does not make me feel any more empowered. I was lucky to have a short (7 hour) active labour so I only had gas. But I would respect any woman who chose to have an epidural.
    Everyone's pain threshold is different.

    The only thing I would say about your friend is that I think it is a little bit close minded to say she will have an epidural.
    But hey who am I to judge though, she may have had a very traumatic first time and want a much more relaxed labour this time.

    ETA: I'm proud I went without an epidural but do not think I am better then anyone else for having done so
    Last edited by Mod-Zeddie; 07-08-2012 at 13:35.

  3. #3
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    drewid is offline Meet the amazing boy who falls asleep with a sandwich in his mouth!
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    I would say that yes, it did make me feel empowered.

    But, it doesn't give me power over women that make different choices. My body, my choice, my feelings. I totally understand that we all have different experiences and I try very hard not to judge.

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    I didn't have an epidural, and I feel pretty proud of myself for managing without it. I did have pethidine which I loved But I'm not any better than any other woman who had an epidural, and I would never say anything nasty to anyone about their birth choices.

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    I do feel empowered that I had a drug free birth with DD2, but that's how I feel about my birth and that's it. I don't really care how others birth and what drugs they did or didn't take, and my empowerment doesn't apply to anyone else and their birth.

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    I had no epidural and I definitely don't think I'm better than anyone else. I think anyone woman feels in awe of themselves regardless of how their baby is born.
    I'm a huge believer in each to their own when it comes to birth and parenting.

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    I didnt have one for either births, my pain threshold with labour was fine... however, hit me with a kidney stone or kidney infection and Im a sack of **** screaming for morphine! Go figure

    Your friend obviously has had things one way and isnt as open minded to other forms of labour, relief or recovery. Brush it off, at the end of the day doesnt matter what you do, someone will have a different opinion and base theirs as right.

    If you are happy, good on you Ive got friends who have had them and it really made their experience all the better for it

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    Just wanted to add - no matter what we can't win. I had so many people tell me I hould have an epi, and to have it early because there's no point waiting. I just went in with an open mind and in fact I did ask for one, but it was during transition and once the midwife told me how close my son was I completely forgot about it.

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    I get the opposite!! I had an epidural with DD1 and want to go without this time, and my friends and family think I'm nuts . And they did it without.

    I totally think it's a personal choice and who can say how much pain a woman will be in and how much she can handle when in labour?

    I honestly don't think that the majority of women who have given birth without drugs think the way that friend does. Some people speak without thinking.

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    And if your friend did it drug free, that other woman would probably claim she was doing 3 loads of washing while pushing. Some people just want to be better than everyone else. How does she know how painful/long/traumatic someone else's labour was? I didn't have an epi because I couldn't handle the pain, I had it because I was exhausted! Ignorant people make silly assumptions. Ignore it

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