If anyone is being told their choices are 'wrong' then that's not feminism at work. I know some radical feminists believe that women must live a certain way but I don't hold to that all. I don't care whether its a man or a woman telling me or others how to live - that's not freedom or equality. That's control.
The way I see it feminism has allowed us to choose how we organise our families, rather than have it be that way because its the only role women are allowed to have. If a woman chooses to see her husband as the leader of the family then that's her choice and is valid.
Equality can take many forms.
There is no one right way for women to live in order to be a 'feminist'. Feminism at its heart is partly about women having the right to choose who they live with and how they live rather than have society force us into one path only (or be shunned).
At least, that's what it means to me.