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  1. #331
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    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    Taking responsibility for what though? Someone else being a deadbeat?

    Your posts seem to claim that women are responsible for men's behaviour.

    I don't think men are so stupid that they can't control their own actions.

    I do consider my exes contribution to my son's life to be sperm donation. He has not contributed anything positive to his life. How I haven't "taken responsibility" by raising the boy is beyond me. I took responsibility back then and I take responsibility now..... for my own actions
    You are missing the point of what I'm saying. Sometimes women make unwise choices that put themselves in a position of having just a 'sperm
    Donor' for their kid. This may or may not be in your case.

  2. #332
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    You are missing the point of what I'm saying. Sometimes women make unwise choices that put themselves in a position of having just a 'sperm
    Donor' for their kid. This may or may not be in your case.
    What is the point though? Re feminism? That our children don't deserve child support because we made a mistake? That we should pay for the rest of our lives because our children have bad fathers? That people should know beforehand how somebody will cope as a parent?

    I have taken responsibility. The ex hasn't. Still have no idea what this has to do with....anything really. I agree with AnaGram, horsesh!t argument.

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  4. #333
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Beebs that's your interpretation and I'm saying you've interpreted incorrectly. I'm not saying women are ignorant and stupid. I'm just not subscribing to the belief that women are perfect, men are imperfect, and men are always to blame when women find themselves in $hitty situations.

    There were a couple of references to sperm donors so I made a comment that Sometimes women make unwise choices that lead to their child having just a 'sperm donor.'. Then people like yourself get all hot and bothered, reading things that aren't there and that's how the deadbeat discussion took off.
    No one said women are perfect and men are not, but if women find themselves in a sh1tty situation because a man has taken to abusing them, then that man IS to blame for that, not the woman. Sure sometimes women make poor choices of partners. But I would hazard a guess that very few women choose a poor partner to father their child on purpose. And even so, that poor partner has responsibilities to the child and had input into its conception (pun intended) so to then run off and leave the woman holding the proverbial ball does make them little more than a sperm donor, and poor choice or not, that man is the a$$hat in this picture, for creating a child then abandoning that child.

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  6. #334
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    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    What is the point though? Re feminism? That our children don't deserve child support because we made a mistake? That we should pay for the rest of our lives because our children have bad fathers? That people should know beforehand how somebody will cope as a parent?

    I have taken responsibility. The ex hasn't. Still have no idea what this has to do with....anything really. I agree with AnaGram, horsesh!t argument.
    I suppose the point is self reflect so:
    - you chose good partners in the future and have a good life
    - you can give your kids guidance and advice which will hopefully help them to chose good partners not deadbeats

  7. #335
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    Quote Originally Posted by Atropos View Post
    No one said women are perfect and men are not, but if women find themselves in a sh1tty situation because a man has taken to abusing them, then that man IS to blame for that, not the woman. Sure sometimes women make poor choices of partners. But I would hazard a guess that very few women choose a poor partner to father their child on purpose. And even so, that poor partner has responsibilities to the child and had input into its conception (pun intended) so to then run off and leave the woman holding the proverbial ball does make them little more than a sperm donor, and poor choice or not, that man is the a$$hat in this picture, for creating a child then abandoning that child.
    I agree!

  8. #336
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    This is exactly the point though - no one has said women are perfect and men are imperfect - least of all Feminism. So what exactly are you arguing about??

    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    belief that women are perfect, men are imperfect, and men are always to blame when women find themselves in $hitty situations.

    .

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  10. #337
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    Victim blaming and questioning the woman's role ONLY in a bad relationship undermines all what feminism is attempting to achieve.

    Suggesting that women need to take responsibility for making bad choices, as if somehow they don't already, is a form of victim blaming when the equal suggestion that men need to take a portion of the blame for a bad relationship and MUST also support their children in not also presented.

    Arguing over who fault a bad relationship is, or who's fault a baby is conceived does not excuse a man for not supporting his child E.V.E.R.

    Feminism aims to teach both boys and girls about choices, responsibility and respect for all humanity.

    We cannot assume that femisnim has finished its campaign while people continue to insist that women are to blame for being left holding the baby.
    Last edited by WorkingClassMum; 12-08-2012 at 21:24.

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  12. #338
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Abusive relationships are only a tiny part of what I'm talking about. And I said a woman is never to blame for being hit. And I never said men shouldn't take responsibilty.

    I'm happy to answer any questions if you care to focus on what I'm actually saying instead of what you want me to say because responding to the dramatic gets you more high 5's.
    Yep, I'm only ever posting to get virtual high fives

    I understand completely what you're saying, I just think it's a load of bs!

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  14. #339
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I suppose the point is self reflect so:
    - you chose good partners in the future and have a good life
    - you can give your kids guidance and advice which will hopefully help them to chose good partners not deadbeats
    What does this have to do with feminism?

    Both men and women choose poor partners. Both men and women choose poor partners to have babies with. Both men and women pay both financially and emotionally for these choices. Both men and women are victims of DV (although overwhelmingly women) and this is not their fault, nor should they be held accountable for their partner's behaviour.

    I am still not sure of your point and how any of this relates to feminism.

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  16. #340
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    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    What does this have to do with feminism?

    Both men and women choose poor partners. Both men and women choose poor partners to have babies with. Both men and women pay both financially and emotionally for these choices. Both men and women are victims of DV (although overwhelmingly women) and this is not their fault, nor should they be held accountable for their partner's behaviour.

    I am still not sure of your point and how any of this relates to feminism.
    Because blaming men and not accepting our responsibility does not empower women to improve themselves and their lives.


 

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