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  1. #321
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Yes.
    At least you're consistant lol

  2. #322
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    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post

    I am actually lost at how single mums haven't taken responsibility!
    That has been my point as well. We can't change the past, but mums of kids to deadbeats are paying for their 'mistake' for having a baby with him. both financially and emotionally.

    I think everyone in this thread would love to see all women of the world dump abusive men the moment they shows signs. But sometimes it's just isn't that simple....

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  4. #323
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    Whichever way you put it, I don't believe a woman is ever responsible or to blame for being in an abusive relationship. Your posts just demonstrate a complete lack of understanding of abusive relationships and lack of empathy for those in them!

    How about the man taking responsibility of his emotions, instead of blaming others for his outbursts, and harming the woman he is supposed to love. Nope, I don't think I will ever blame a woman for that!
    Abusive relationships are only a tiny part of what I'm talking about. And I said a woman is never to blame for being hit. And I never said men shouldn't take responsibilty.

    I'm happy to answer any questions if you care to focus on what I'm actually saying instead of what you want me to say because responding to the dramatic gets you more high 5's.

  5. #324
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    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    Why so much focus on what mothers should do? You argue that single mums should "take responsibility" for procreation (because raising the children isn't enough ) but none on the ones who are being deadbeat, lazy, and immature.

    Why place blame on those doing the right thing?

    I am actually lost at how single mums haven't taken responsibility!
    Its Not about blame! Its about encouraging women to self reflect so they wont repeat mistakes.
    - Single mums stand up where the men often don't. They take responsibility after the fact.

  6. #325
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Its Not about blame! Its about encouraging women to self reflect so they wont repeat mistakes.
    - Single mums stand up where the men often don't. They take responsibility after the fact.
    And.........? Why are you not focusing on people just not being an a$$hat so people like me don't now have to 'take responsibility' for our exes being a bad parent?

  7. #326
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    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    And.........? Why are you not focusing on people just not being an a$$hat so people like me don't now have to 'take responsibility' for our exes being a bad parent?
    Because this is a feminist thread I thought it would be an ok place to talk about women taking responsibility. If you want to start a "people shouldn't be a$$hats thread" I'll be happy to talk about the a$$hats being to blame in that.

  8. #327
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    You astound me, you talk about women as if they are ignorant and stupid. "then go ahead and tell them they are perfect and they couldnt have done anything differently. That it's 100% the mans fault. Let them call the men any names they want. You'll probably get lots of high 5's from women in here and that will probably make you feel good too."

    We are talking about something completely differently, I am really beginning to wonder if you actually understand femnism at all.

    You are arguing semantics, nit picking little things. Not one person has said men are deadbeats, seriously where are you getting all of this?

    Feminsism is about equality - that is all, very simple no?

    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Thats a very catchy line but I think it's without substance.

    Encouraging women to accept their part doesn't mean the man gets off Scott free.

    If we gloss over everything and tell all women that they have no responsibility for having a deadbeat baby daddy ... then how are they supposed to be expected to make better choices In the future? To improve their lives?

    If you want to make women feel good in the short run then go ahead and tell them they are perfect and they couldnt have done anything differently. That it's 100% the mans fault. Let them call the men any names they want. You'll probably get lots of high 5's from women in here and that will probably make you feel good too.

    If you truly want to help the woman have a better life then ask women to self reflect for a few minutes. With hindsight were there any warning signs that their fob would be a deadbeat? Was there anything they could have done differently to protect themselves from having a deadbeat fob? If the answer is truly no, then oh well good on them. But I doubt many women would fit into this category.

  9. #328
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Its Not about blame! Its about encouraging women to self reflect so they wont repeat mistakes.
    - Single mums stand up where the men often don't. They take responsibility after the fact.
    The problem I have with what you're saying us that you imply these women, whoever you're generalising about, could and should have seen it coming. Trust me, people can surprise you with their behaviour and change overnight! Human nature is complex and often unpredictable.

    Telling the victims (or simply the Responsible parent who has the 'audacity' to complain about the neglect of the child by the other parent) to 'self-reflect' is so arrogant, smug and belittling. It's actually.... Creepy!

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  11. #329
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Because this is a feminist thread I thought it would be an ok place to talk about women taking responsibility. If you want to start a "people shouldn't be a$$hats thread" I'll be happy to talk about the a$$hats being to blame in that.
    Taking responsibility for what though? Someone else being a deadbeat?

    Your posts seem to claim that women are responsible for men's behaviour.

    I don't think men are so stupid that they can't control their own actions.

    I do consider my exes contribution to my son's life to be sperm donation. He has not contributed anything positive to his life. How I haven't "taken responsibility" by raising the boy is beyond me. I took responsibility back then and I take responsibility now..... for my own actions

  12. #330
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    Quote Originally Posted by beebs View Post
    You astound me, you talk about women as if they are ignorant and stupid. "then go ahead and tell them they are perfect and they couldnt have done anything differently. That it's 100% the mans fault. Let them call the men any names they want. You'll probably get lots of high 5's from women in here and that will probably make you feel good too."

    We are talking about something completely differently, I am really beginning to wonder if you actually understand femnism at all.

    You are arguing semantics, nit picking little things. Not one person has said men are deadbeats, seriously where are you getting all of this?

    Feminsism is about equality - that is all, very simple no?
    Beebs that's your interpretation and I'm saying you've interpreted incorrectly. I'm not saying women are ignorant and stupid. I'm just not subscribing to the belief that women are perfect, men are imperfect, and men are always to blame when women find themselves in $hitty situations.

    There were a couple of references to sperm donors so I made a comment that Sometimes women make unwise choices that lead to their child having just a 'sperm donor.'. Then people like yourself get all hot and bothered, reading things that aren't there and that's how the deadbeat discussion took off.


 

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