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  1. #251
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bongley View Post
    I think not to define yourself as a feminist, fair enough but to actually say you are NOT a feminist is to somehow reject it, as though it is something negative.

    Ah gee, I ramble.
    ^ This!

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    Grebbeci  (09-08-2012)

  3. #252
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grebbeci View Post
    The choice of whether to stay at home or go back to work may remain. But women already are starting to feel like someone is expecting them to go back to work, or they are expected to put their babies into daycare one or two days a week even if they are a SAHM. Many things in this topic are not so black and white as to whether they do or do not have a choice, there are emotions involved.
    I never said that women will lose the choice of whether to go back to work or not, I said they will FEEL like they are expected to go back to work.
    So what are you suggesting - that we shouldn't fight for equality of women in the work place in case it makes those who don't want to work feel pressured?

  4. #253
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    Quote Originally Posted by beebs View Post
    I consider myself a believer in feminist ideals - but when push comes to shove, my husband doesn't do much around the house and I can't be arsed making him do it, it is way too much effort, so I just do it myself - even though I despise housework. Somewhere in me, there is that little thing that just makes it too much effort to push for him to do equal parts in the house. When really, he shouldn't have to be pushed -everyone should be equal, everyone should just pitch in.
    You can still be a feminist and want to do things for your husband simply because you love him.

  5. #254
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    But I don't want to do things for him. He drives me batty with the housework DI subscribe fully to feminism - but I do have to laugh at my situation

    Quote Originally Posted by saxonrose View Post
    You can still be a feminist and want to do things for your husband simply because you love him.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Grebbeci View Post
    So I'm probably coming across as anti-all the feminist principles here, which I am not. Equality needs to be achieved and I still think it's a long way off. But I think we need to be careful in that it doesn't go too far the other way in that women feel like they are EXPECTED to return to the workforce after having kids.
    I assume, that's exactly why people like myself set out to expel some of misunderstandings surrounding feminism today. I too, was in the same position before a friend pointed this out to me.

    In feminism there shouldn't be any expectation or judgement at all. Unfortunately some people assume that there is, and some people feel that there is pressure from their peers, which I totally understand and can see.

    But I don't think that's what feminism is all about. Let's just support our political and social choices eh? Whatever floats your boat and works for you.

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    Atropos  (09-08-2012),beebs  (09-08-2012),Petulia  (09-08-2012)

  8. #256
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    Quote Originally Posted by beebs View Post
    But I don't want to do things for him. He drives me batty with the housework DI subscribe fully to feminism - but I do have to laugh at my situation
    Ahaha. Well that's a perfectly valid choice too

  9. #257
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    Quote Originally Posted by shelle65 View Post
    So what are you suggesting - that we shouldn't fight for equality of women in the work place in case it makes those who don't want to work feel pressured?
    Of course I'm not saying that, I'm just trying to point out that it goes both ways. At the moment the women on here are saying that women are made to feel pressured to stay at home and be the primary carer of the children. I actually think at the moment women are at a crossroads.
    You go back to work and you end up feeling pressured that you should be at home with the kids, you stay at home with the kids you end up feeling pressured that you should be going back to work.

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    saxonrose  (09-08-2012)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Grebbeci View Post
    You go back to work and you end up feeling pressured that you should be at home with the kids, you stay at home with the kids you end up feeling pressured that you should be going back to work.
    That's exactly why we need feminism! To break down those barriers so not only are women's choices respected and validated, but also so we feel like our choices are respected and validated

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    shelle65  (09-08-2012)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Grebbeci View Post
    Of course I'm not saying that, I'm just trying to point out that it goes both ways. At the moment the women on here are saying that women are made to feel pressured to stay at home and be the primary carer of the children. I actually think at the moment women are at a crossroads.
    You go back to work and you end up feeling pressured that you should be at home with the kids, you stay at home with the kids you end up feeling pressured that you should be going back to work.
    I'm not sure that's exactly the point that's being made though. The issue as I see it is not so much the pressure to do either, it is the fact that limitations and obstacles exist that lead to inequity once the decision is made. Those same limitations and obstacles don't (or rarely) exist for men. Removing those obstacles is about removing the pressure from women.

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    saxonrose  (09-08-2012)

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    But, where are the men in these debates? Its all about women choosing work or staying at home. The women have to choose, thats where a lot of guilt comes from.

    If my partner and I manage to have a second child then childcare costs will decimate one of our wages. Its great that I have a choice to work, be a SAHM or go part-time obviously but it would be even better if my partners workplace was more flexible about working part-time. Then we could share the load.
    As it is, I don't think my partner is even considering asking even though I have pointed this out to him. The choice (and guilt) will lay squarely on my shoulders but not his. If he had more more choice and flexibility and then so would I. I'd like to see more men take on childcare and part-time roles. For it to be more the norm.

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    beebs  (09-08-2012),Petulia  (09-08-2012)


 

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