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  1. #1
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    Default Parents of an ONLY child, question for you...

    I am the mother of a 4.5 year old Son .. I don't have a yearning for more kids, and am not in anyway clucky or maternal... But anyway, lately I've been feeling apprehensive about the prospect of my son being an only child forever... As in FOREVER!
    I do not want more kids, like I said.. This is a seperate emotion, more of an anxious feeling about how my son will deal with the rest of his life as an only child.

    I'm assuming this is a normal emotion to have when one only has one child, yes?

    ***Sent from my phone***

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    Bump

    ***Sent from my phone***

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    I think it's normal. Sorry I'm probably not the best to answer this as I am hoping to have one more child but I do feel immense sadness that I missed the window where they would 'grow up together'. By the time I have one last one (and if I can) they will be at different phases of their lives. Different schools, different interests etc.

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    I am doing the selfless job of having another, purely for my already child. Don't really want another myself, not a newborn person at all, but you do what you have to do... Probably not much help to you, I know, but just letting you know there are others out there who aren't really that interested in having a second.

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    Thank you all for your views, all completely appreciated even though we are all in different places.

    I think I'm just surprised at feeling this way because I'm such a care free, non stressed, go with the flow type... That and the fact he is off to prep next year I think it's kinda nailing home the fact we only have one.

    We had originally always wanted 2 you see, but after a horrible pregnancy with SPD, traumatic labour, PND and PTSD post birth and the ups and downs that come with a child with Aspergers AND then top that all off with one non maternal never been clucky in her whole life Mum.... This is what happens lol

    ***Sent from my phone***

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    When DD was little I desperately wanted another, but as she has grown I have done a complete 180 and now definitely do not want any more.

    I sometimes get the "but if something happens to you then she will have no one" argument (which isn't true, she has a Dad, Aunties, Uncles, Grandparents, Cousins etc). I always think about the flip side though - if she had a younger sibling and something happened to me, she would feel responsible for the sibling and might not be as free to do what she wants because of that responsibility.

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    Subscribing. I am an only child. I'll come back and give you my perspective on what life is like as an only child ... (It's all good!)

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    we have a lovely little girl 3.5 yrs..we are happy she is happy..no more for us...hard decision to make though...

    for us we would not be able to enjoy the life we have now (holidays.. eating out..me working 4 days a month)..our life is relaxed we don't want the stress of lots of kids..for us we know our girl will be well taken care of..she will get the best education and huge time with us..we will be able to buy her a car ..help with first house...life is not easy..it will only get harder ..for us one human to watch over is enough...

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    Can I sub to please

  10. #10
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    lambjam is offline Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!
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    When DS1 was about 3, we made the decision to stop at one. (You can tell from a glance at my signature this isn't what ended up happening, however for a year or so we thought we were certain, so I can relate to your question!)

    It was something I thought about a lot; not just the fact that he'd grow up an only child, but that he'd also have no siblings as an adult. In the end I reconciled this easily enough by looking at many adults I know who have only superficial relationships with their siblings.

    The thing that really stuck with me was the knowledge that his children would have no aunts, uncles or cousins (from his side at least). As someone who has always yearned for more family this didn't sit well with me. However, by itself this wouldn't have been enough to make me have more children.


 

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