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  1. #1
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    Default Hurry up and wait!

    Dear ladies. I'm new to this forum. I'm new to IVF. I'm new to the concept of wanting a child and that's not even a constant. My bio clock has taken over and the doc tells me get cracking on that ivf option before its top late (genetic such and such suggests eggs at a scarce premium)

    So I have embarked on a premature (in my eyes) journey to see if I can bake one - baby that it.

    So a month or so on drugs and an ovum plundering yesterday. (By the way I had a local, I'm ok with pain generally but it hurt. A lot, no one told me that. I know its different or everyone but I'm still in bed cramping today and the process had me almost kick the doctor. I am fine and we ladies are tough but I wish I'd known and I would have mentally prepared better).

    They - the scientists - took 5. I'll know in an hour how many - if any are multiplying cells. Fingers crossed hey? I'm having a light hearted moment. I'm actually terrified either way. Did it work?and if so argh! Did it not work and if so phew! And oh, that means I won't get grand kids which I realize actually requires a few steps in between.

    Also has anyone else found their otherwise pretty grand husband frightfully annoying during this process? Mine didnt come into the egg collection and I felt somewhat abandoned as he didn't want to deal with surgery type atmosphere. I'm pretty mad at him, but I guess he has gone ino this knowing we might actually conceive so that's a long term commitment. I still want to punch him though.

    Your thoughts?

    I can't seem to edit, apologies for the appalling grammar in advance.
    [/PHP]

  2. #2
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    This is the 3rd reply i've attempted to write to your post/thread.
    I've decided that your cleverly written, humourus post is actually a disguise as to your real feelings about the fact that you're going through IVF.

    Its difficult to tell if you want to be having children at all or maybe you're still not ready. It is scary, confronting and challenging. Doing IVF and having children. But it is a journey that helps to open your eyes as to another way of life and a commitment to another potential person entering your life.

    Society can get caught up with the fact that we 'must' have children and that there is something wrong with those who don't have any. This is untrue. There is nothing wrong with people living full and happy lives no matter what those finer details are.

    Personally, i wasn't going to have children. Ever. I raised my 3 younger brothers and didn't want to be tied down to children. Then i met my husband and we discussed it. I changed from not ever, to later on down the track. After 2.5yrs married, it changed to now, not later. Low and behold it took us a long time to conceive. And although we didn't use contraception and wanted another soon after, it wasn't meant to be and it took awhile longer and an ivf cycle to conceive again.

    Good luck, i hope you get the result you both want.

  3. #3
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    It can be daunting starting a fertility journey. When I started I too was unsure if I really wanted a baby - well honestly a baby sounded great but a toddler or child scared me! DH and I went to a specialist after 12 months of trying naturally and that appointment was so overwhelming that we ran away and hid for another 18 months before finally getting the courage to start IVF. I had just turned 40.

    Now at 42 I'm 26 weeks preg thanks to 4 rounds of IVF and 3 embryo transfers. I really wish we had not waited so long as I now feel this will be our only child.

    I hope your embies all fertilize and you are UTD before you know it - being preg is great Good luck

  4. #4
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    Thanks very much Waggers70. Glad to hear things going well. Sounds like you have persevered. Congratulations. Even one round seems full on so I admire anyone who can keep going. Although I have to say the process has made me realize I am glad I am kicking things off now given the way the cookie is crumbling on this one. I have gone into the process hoping to do this just once. But one fertilized egg left as of this am so they are going in early. Transfer tomorrow and crossing my fingers. Thanks again.

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    Thank you Jaspat,

    Yes I think I do want to succeed. I've had to use humour to get myself through it I think. Its one of those things you don't get until you do it. Which I guess is like most things!

    Appreciate your digging on that.

    A friend asked me recently 'who's fault is it? ' to which I laughed hysterically because if you ask that question it's actually mine. Because my husband is older she assumed it was his. It's funny the way people respond. I find I'm being sparse in detail for the few close friends and family who know we are trying to help protect them if it doesn't work.

    Thanks for taking the time to respond.

  6. #6
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    Hi Ovumporium,

    I'm a first timer too..for everything. I hear what you're saying about the scary prospect of getting or not getting preg. I'm 41 and this is my first opportunity as I'm now with the right person..he's 46, with twin 8 year old boys from a previous relationship. For the last 6 months, my focus has been on subtly leading him to the point that he says, let's try. Deep down I'm thinking..now I might be able to have this..do I want it..yikes! I'm not sure whether I'd be cast out of such a website for saying such a thing!

    Two things that are apparent to me: I'm scared to death reading all this stuff on here..worrying that as you take each step further (we've got our 1st FS appt on 11 sept..with the counseling booked prior..to speed things up), the more the doors of possibility open and the more entrenched into all the emotional ups and downs, you become. I understand that there's nothing you can do about this..so, for the time being, I'm feeling pretty rational and in control..which I want to maintain as long as I can. Not sure how long this will last..watch this space! Secondly, I feel that as this really has been my only chance, but really is my last chance..I need to think about all thee fab things I could continue to do if it didnt happen...travel etc.

    You seemed pretty level headed..so I'd be interested in your emotional and psychological journey!

    I'm already having decaf coffee..and trying desperately to give up the vino (i have a glass once per week now). Actually, the coffee thing is proving to be more challenging! I just though it this was a good opportunity to get a bit healthier! Reading some of the things as I have done..again mindful of slipping into the abyss of obsession..it's a minefield out there. I was most interested in the information about the three months leading up to IVF..all the dietary requirements to make sure your eggs are in the best shape! When I went to my GP for the referral..she has also done IVF and is a family friend..she said the only thing that impacts your eggs is age..not alcohol, caffeine etc. Once implantation occurs..a little different of course! so..there's a lot of stuff out there that would scare the pants off you!

    So..good look and here's to staying rational as long as possible

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    Good Luck..that is

  8. #8
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    Default From one recalcitrant to another

    Dear BusyB

    I enjoyed reading your post thanks.

    I know exactly how you feel re now that it's possible is it what you really want. I think that's a natural reaction for a lot of us who try a little later being used to our lifestyles! I've had it in the back of my mind throughout the process to be honest and the part of me that's sure waivers. Or it did until recently as that has changed for me now but more on that later...

    For me the more the sure part of myself thought yes the other lifestyle loving selfish part thought of me said nooooo! And the later part would actively seek self sabotaging initiatives to prevent success such as a big night out or the wrong foods. It wasn't quite that simple because the self sabotage part was also a protection mechanism I think in case things don't go well. Oh the human mind! To get over myself in that pre phase I ended up doing meditation relaxation stuff on my iPhone to try and balance out the internal argument I was having. But when you embark on something as dedicated as this process it's hard not to think about it all the time even if you don't want to. You are thinking about drugs, hospital visits for tests, timing appointments around work. Then how is it going? Will I get to the next hurdle? And the next and the next until you are thinking of it non stop whilst trying to keep going and remain sane despite taking drugs that compound your doubts by fiddling with your hormones. It is not easy. But it is doable. And it's not forever. That's what I kept telling myself. My partner was funny during that period, supportive in his own way by making light of the situation which in hind sight was a good thing because being too serious about it all can make it more stressful I suspect. There were moments on the drugs when I was behaving badly or weirdly or over emotionally and I knew it but couldn't reign it in. But it does pass. The good thing about getting to retrieval stage was those things wear off and you start feeling normal again. The 2week wait for my blood test I was busy at work during the day and then tired at night so i would rest. We went away for a weekend and I didn't do a home pregnancy test because after reading some of the posts it looked like some people were turning their brains inside out thinking am I? Aren't I? So I didn't really look at too much info in between if I could help it which definitely helped my waiting period.

    I had had one viable fertilized egg available in the end. I was grateful because I've heard of some women having none. They implanted day 4 to give best chance as there were none to choose from. I had a positive blood test on Tuesday and the sure part of myself has officially taken over. I realize I'm lucky, happy and hoping this little tenant is long term. I've had a few acupuncture sessions during 2ww time and I think that helped a lot. The acupuncturist said well you did advertise so fingers crossed.

    Its early days but I'm choosing to feel positive unless proven otherwise, drinking a coffee every second day and I will stop. I feel far less roller coastery and just taking one day at a time so I don't get my knickers in a twist. I'm missing exercise mostly so I plan on seeing a doc soon about what my limits should be. I'm not thinking too far down the track but going with the flow as much as poss.

    My partner is older and has a 23 yr old from a previous relationship. I think that helps having a partner that's been through it even though sometimes I wish it was with me first!

    Hope all goes well 11 sept for you. I've got a scan 6 sept to see if my tenant is still there, in the right room and whether it's sharing or not!

    By the way I have a good friend who went through this process six times without success. She gave up and got pregnant naturally at 47 and now has a beautiful little girl.

    Take
    care and keep in touch!

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Hurry up and wait!

    Congrats !
    Hope all is good at your scan

    Sent from my GT-I9300T using BubHub

  10. #10
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    Thanks waggers70 I hope all is well for you?


 

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