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  1. #21
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    You may want to talk to a lawyer about this because he works in QLDs you are moving him in with you making him think all is fine so when you get settled and tell hi where you go he may have some ammo against you to get you back. Prob best to deal with this before you move, he will most likely not be as flexible if he knows you manipulated him. You shoudl deal with this asap if he is violent go to a shelter or something that can help you but cheating your way though will bite you in the bum if it goes to court and you will be placed in a bad light.
    Perhaps you have never been in an abusive relationship and have no idea what it's like? When you are in that sort of position you really need to play your cards right to get out and away.
    It's not as simple as just saying 'it's over' one day. You do generally have to play games and manipulate. I know i did in order to get out my very abusive and unhealthy relationship.

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by HarvestMoon View Post
    Perhaps you have never been in an abusive relationship and have no idea what it's like? When you are in that sort of position you really need to play your cards right to get out and away.
    It's not as simple as just saying 'it's over' one day. You do generally have to play games and manipulate. I know i did in order to get out my very abusive and unhealthy relationship.
    Oh no I was thinking she just say its over but dont you think its a better way to go to a center that can help her and protect her? I mean so she moves him down under the thought they are together and then what just tell him to go? The last thing she wants to do is risk losing the kids or having to move them back because she didnt talk to someone and get proper help.

  3. #23
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    Oh no I was thinking she just say its over but dont you think its a better way to go to a center that can help her and protect her? I mean so she moves him down under the thought they are together and then what just tell him to go? The last thing she wants to do is risk losing the kids or having to move them back because she didnt talk to someone and get proper help.
    No, i think she has the right idea. She wants to move closer to her mother for support and this is probably the only way she can go about it.
    Refuges don't always have spaces on offer. I was turned away multiple times. Even if you do get in they take you so far away from your life that it's difficult to resume any sort of normality.
    It's an incredibly difficult situation to be and i think you really need to have experienced something similar yourself to grasp exactly what the OP is going through.

  4. #24
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    Default Re: Leaving husband

    Ok ill clear a few.things up

    1 I am not manipulating him into moving its actually his idea to move as his family live there

    2 I will only go back to UK if I have too but wouldn't just go without sorting some sort of agreement first

    3 he doesn't deserve to be treated fairly after what I have gone through the past 3 years

    I do appreciate all the advice but for now I just need to be somewhere near my family and if I didn't have kids a refuge would be fine but I refuse to put my kids into that situation if I have somewhere to go.
    Were only moving to NSW to move in with my mum for a bit to save and as he constantly threatens me and kicks me out with the kids I will have the upper hand for a change and kick him out

    Sent from my HTC One XL using BubHub

  5. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mum2twoEs View Post
    Ok ill clear a few.things up

    1 I am not manipulating him into moving its actually his idea to move as his family live there

    2 I will only go back to UK if I have too but wouldn't just go without sorting some sort of agreement first

    3 he doesn't deserve to be treated fairly after what I have gone through the past 3 years

    I do appreciate all the advice but for now I just need to be somewhere near my family and if I didn't have kids a refuge would be fine but I refuse to put my kids into that situation if I have somewhere to go.
    Were only moving to NSW to move in with my mum for a bit to save and as he constantly threatens me and kicks me out with the kids I will have the upper hand for a change and kick him out

    Sent from my HTC One XL using BubHub
    Thanks for clearing that up if he wants to move too then your right your not manipulating him in that fashion. Your last statement about being in control and kicking him out I know it is hard not to be down right angry and vindictive but remember to always be the bigger person. I hope things work out for you and get settled soon.

  6. #26
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    Good luck. Whatever is the SAFEST option for you and your children is the right option IMO. I hope everything works out for you.

  7. #27
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    Default Leaving husband

    Good luck and I hope all goes well once you and your partner seperate

  8. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mum2twoEs View Post
    Were only moving to NSW to move in with my mum for a bit to save and as he constantly threatens me and kicks me out with the kids I will have the upper hand for a change and kick him out

    Sent from my HTC One XL using BubHub
    Just a word of warning - don't count on your Mum taking your side without talking to her first. We moved in with my mother and she was always going on about how he was such a good boy. When we finally did separate and I told my mother about the abuse she asked what I had done to make him do that.

  9. #29
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    Default Re: Leaving husband

    No advice, just wanted to send some hugs Good on you for takong action regardless. I hope he does you all a favour and stays away once youre out! x

    Sent from my GT-I9100 using BubHub

  10. #30
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    Default Re: Leaving husband

    My mum and friends all see how he has treated me and the kids and they all support my move and wish I had done it sooner. My mum wants us to move in with her for us to be safe and so that we are already there and she can make sure were all ok.

    Sent from my HTC One XL using BubHub


 

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