+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 25
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    106
    Thanks
    9
    Thanked
    40
    Reviews
    0

    Default Confidence in partners parenting

    My partner was feeding our 18mo DS who was grouchy and didn't want to eat.I never have a problem with this if he's eaten through the day - sometimes your just not hungry!OH was getting frustrated and I saw that he was going to try and pinch DSs nose and shove the food in his mouth.I flipped out, I couldn't believe he even contemplated the idea!He was very embarrassed and tried to justify it by saying other parents did it and I said maybe in the 19th century!We had a fight and he went out and I broke down and called my mum.I can't tell you how much it scared me.What if I hadn't been there?He came home and apologised, saying that he was learning too, which irritates me because kids aren't test guinea pigs.He hasn't really done anything else aside from feeding him sugary crap every now and again.But now I feel like I have to supervise him because he didn't THINKAny advice? I don't want to feel like I need to be a parent to him as well

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    3,492
    Thanks
    4,294
    Thanked
    1,806
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    Aww, I'd go easy on him (after I gave him a b*llicking, which you have)

    My uncle once stuck my brothers face into his dinner , for refusing to eat.
    Not saying it's right, we all laugh about it now, but that was his stress response to a kid (7 yrs old) who was just being a brat.

    My own nose was pinched for medicine or a spoon full of honey...
    that is how they did things back then.

    I know you're child is only a baby, but I don't think this is something you should really worry too much about, especially if he hasn't ever done anything like this before.
    Continuing to punish him will only knock his own confidence in himself as a parent, as he said, he's only learning, lesson learnt there I say.

  3. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Phony For This Useful Post:

    GrabbyCrabby  (05-08-2012),SugarSkull  (04-08-2012)

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    14,057
    Thanks
    1,875
    Thanked
    2,608
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Well, he IS still learning. Why does that irritate you? Do you know the answers to everything parenting related? Probably not, so you, yourself, are still learning.
    Give the poor guy a break.
    Last edited by Guest1234; 04-08-2012 at 12:14.

  5. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Guest1234 For This Useful Post:

    peanutmonkey  (05-08-2012),SugarSkull  (04-08-2012),themissingpiece  (04-08-2012)

  6. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    125
    Thanks
    140
    Thanked
    76
    Reviews
    0
    And also at least he is helping out! How many times do you read on here that partners do nothing? Go easy on him...he is learning and if you keep having fights over how to do things, you may find he doesn't want to help out as much.

  7. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to jellybub For This Useful Post:

    SugarSkull  (04-08-2012),themissingpiece  (04-08-2012)

  8. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    663
    Thanks
    797
    Thanked
    339
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Wow! That's really frightening. It sounds like he really is contrite and wants to do the right thing. Would he be open to sitting down with you and nutting out your shared parenting strategies and ideals. Of course, you'll both have your individual parenting styles but i find it really useful to sit down with my partner and discuss where we're at and how we feel about our parenting and issues that arise in a really respectful way. Hope you can both get to a place where you feel safe and valued with your parenting abilities

  9. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to wrena For This Useful Post:

    Mulva  (04-08-2012),SugarSkull  (04-08-2012)

  10. #6
    London's Avatar
    London is offline “I think we're losing our sense of humor instead of being able to relax and laugh at ourselves" - Betty White
    Winner 2012 - BubHubber you'd like to meet IRL
    Winner 2012 - Best Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Perth
    Posts
    11,392
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked
    4,936
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    I agree with those saying go easy on him. He admitted he is learning and apologised......should be thankful you got that. Did you apologise for going off your face? He didnt do anything to hurt the child. I can understand you are emotional about it, but this is his child too and he was trying to feed him, not hurt him!
    Take a breath, apologise to your partner for flying off the handle and have a talk about what the problem was.

  11. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to London For This Useful Post:

    Guest1234  (04-08-2012),peanutmonkey  (05-08-2012),SugarSkull  (04-08-2012),themissingpiece  (04-08-2012)

  12. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    19,776
    Thanks
    5,212
    Thanked
    7,063
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 posts
    To be completely honest, I don't think I would leave my baby with someone with such a temper. Holding a child's nose and forcing food down...... I'm just glad you were there before it got worse!

  13. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Benji For This Useful Post:

    BornToBe  (04-08-2012),Ellewood  (04-08-2012),Mulva  (04-08-2012),SugarSkull  (04-08-2012)

  14. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    561
    Thanks
    886
    Thanked
    168
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I understand how you feel OP, I am scared to leave my bub with DH for an extended amount of time because we have different ideas on what is appropriate, especially in terms of nutrition and comforting, I identify with AP and he is happy to let him cry or not tend to his immediate needs which just breaks my heart to imagine him tired and screaming and not consoled.
    Talk to your DP about your different parenting expectations and styles, hopefully you can both come to common ground and understanding. I would have been horrified aswell at your situation. Yes he is still learning but doing something like that is just horrible IMO.

  15. #9
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    3,492
    Thanks
    4,294
    Thanked
    1,806
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    He "was going to pinch his nose"...
    So he didn't actually do it.

    Quote Originally Posted by wrena View Post
    Wow! That's really frightening. It sounds like he really is contrite and wants to do the right thing. Would he be open to sitting down with you and nutting out your shared parenting strategies and ideals. Of course, you'll both have your individual parenting styles but i find it really useful to sit down with my partner and discuss where we're at and how we feel about our parenting and issues that arise in a really respectful way. Hope you can both get to a place where you feel safe and valued with your parenting abilities
    Yep, great advice, I had to have the talk with my DH, about little things that I didn't agree with in his parenting style.
    Sometimes it just needs to be pointed out that that's probably not the best way to do things.

    OP , as for thinking you might have to supervise your partner,
    unless your child has special needs/medications,
    I'd say let him make the little mistakes himself.
    No better way to learn

  16. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Phony For This Useful Post:

    GrabbyCrabby  (05-08-2012),SugarSkull  (04-08-2012)

  17. #10
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Country WA
    Posts
    6,643
    Thanks
    3,135
    Thanked
    3,028
    Reviews
    13
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    I wouldn't be happy with that either OP, but you can't hold it against him. We all make mistakes and if he has learnt, then that is good.

    Is there a reason why your DS isn't feeding himself at 18 months? I found my DS less picky if he fed himself


 

Similar Threads

  1. Confidence is ...
    By Smartiecat in forum Choosing Baby Names
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 18-07-2012, 19:51
  2. Great Confidence
    By SugarSkull in forum General Chat
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 04-04-2012, 12:25

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Shapland Swim Schools
Shapland's at participating schools offer free baby orientation classes once a month - no cost no catches. Your baby will be introduced to our "natural effects" orientation program develop by Shapland's over 3 generations, its gentle and enjoyable.
sales & new stuffsee all
True Fairies
True Fairies is the first interactive website where children can engage and speak with a real fairy through the unique webcam fairy portal. Each session is tailored to the child, and is filled with enchantment and magic.
Visit website to find out more!
featured supporter
The Health Hub & Glowing Expectations
Glowing Expectations is conveniently located at The Health Hub in Darlinghurst. We offer pre & post natal personal training, small group pregnancy exercise classes, flexible mums & bubs sessions, massage, & naturopathy in our air-conditioned studio.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!