Pulling things off a shelf can be dangerous so she has to help put them back.
Wanting to eat sugar for afternoon tea - it's not an option, you don't eat straight sugar, if she asked for something silly I'd give her a couple of other options instead.
Putting on shoes - well she doesn't go to school yet but often doesn't want to wear shoes and then it comes down to where we are. I don't force shoes on her because that is her choice, but I don't let her walk across a car park sans shoes.
Bad language - we explain calmly that those kinds of words can hurt peoples feelings so we don't say them.
If I say no to something that isn't a safety issue I try and make sure I have an apporpriate alternative ready for her. My 18mo I just remove and distract.