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  1. #11
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    I think it's time to leave.

    You are better than that and deserve to be happy.

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    HugsBunny  (03-08-2012)

  3. #12
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    i think so..his night was canned BUT he went there anyway after telling me he wasnt going...he got home at 9am this morning, no word nothing........i told him i dont want to be married to him anymore...he was drunk, argued about it, told me the usual BS, told me i'd end up in "in housing commission"......seriously what a loser. he tries to make me think im mad and think that its "all in my head"....he alsi said he will take 6 months off work and i can go to work fulltime so as to "prove" that i do nothing all day and that looking after 2 kids under 2 is easy and the house should be spotless....i told him he is living in the wrong century........blah.....what a jerk. i didnt want my kids to be from a broken home but what is the alternative...he will never change.

  4. #13
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    HugsBunny is offline Once upon a time there was a bunny.........
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    Kids would rather be from a broken home than live in one

    Do you have a plan?

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    Californication  (07-08-2012),MsImpatient  (05-08-2012),Sarelou  (05-08-2012)

  6. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by HugsBunny View Post
    Kids would rather be from a broken home than live in one
    ?
    That is a great way Of looking at things.!

    OP: something is obviously wrong with your hubby. Either he is/was not ready to be a dad, is suffering some type of depression and/or is just not in love with you anymore. Id hope he would talk to you and let you know what's going on. If not you have to look after yourself.

    It sounds like you have your head screwed on right and I have no doubt you will do the right thing.

    Good luck..

  7. #15
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    What a jerk. Stay strong, you and your children deserve better.

  8. #16
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    thanks....i dont have a "plan" as yet..im on (paid) maternity leave currently...my thoughts was to stay here (mortgage keeps being paid in the meantime), he move out, he could live with his sister as she has 2 spare rooms and lives alone...he can see the kids as often as he likes, i will never use them as a pawn no matter how low i think he is, i would never slag him off to them, i grew up with that and vowed i wouldnt behave like that.

    nothing else happned, he sat on the lounge all arvo, no-one spoke..his friggin parents are coming up tommorow to help with downstairs reno's....he will probably apologise and then the same $hit happens again...im over "talking"..he needs to go....he thinks cos he works that entitles him to go out and stay out....he stops for a few weeks when i whinge but gradually the all night booze up's esculate to every saturday night, the nagging, whining, bad moods etc....he did have male PND to some degree after DS was born..he is selfish man and cannot see h ow his behaviour affects his kids....ie laying on the lounge hungover is hardly good parenting....i personally think he finds parenting a drag and its too hard work for him.. he needs counselling individually if he has any hope with me and or issues with depression....even then he still needs to move out regardless.

  9. #17
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    Hi topaz - how're you going?

  10. #18
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    It certainly doesn't sound like an equal partnership. I know I couldn't be with someone like that.

    I think your plan is good. He can move out and see if that is really what he wants, or if he is going to realise family is important and work his @rse off to change things in himself and try to win you back. Because something needs to change. For your sake and the kids.

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  12. #19
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    hi

    thanks.

    nothing much has happened as his parents were here...its really hard to talk as at least one of the kids is occupying someones time....im just over "talking" about stuff with him....he is trying to be nice to be...but this is exactly the patterns of toxic relationships/ dv etc...esculating behaviour to big blow out, the silence, sucking up, forgiveness, the gradual return to behaviour....i just feel so bored by the whole thing which is kinda where im at, its so predicable...yes i would love change to happen but ive lost faith that it will...he needs to decide what he wants as my feelings for him are almost gone.....big sigh right now.

  13. #20
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    hugs.

    so you haven't spoken to him about him moving out?


 

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