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  1. #1
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    Default DP told me to stop BF

    I've been breastfeeding DD for almost 14 months, and DP has hinted quite a few times he wants me to stop. I think this may partly be due to fact we co-sleep, and over time it has increased from being just for a feed to a complete night every night.

    His family also asks me why I'm still BF and when I'm going to stop, as if it affects them in any way. My family is supportive to my decision to keep feeding DD.

    What should I do in regards to DP?

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    if you feel comfortable bf and don't have a problem with it, i don't see why you would need to stop really. baby is getting the best nutrients from it.

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    I guess you need to be up front and ask - so does he - to find the real reason behind wanting you to stop. Chances are if you stop feeding, your daughter will still want to sleep in with you so if that's the issue it won't be solved from stopping feeding

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    Quote Originally Posted by missie_mack View Post
    I think communication is the key to any relationship and for this to happen you need to know his reasons

    In a galaxy far far away....
    couldn't agree more. it might be the sleeping issue or the feeding or both, maybe your DP just wants you back to himself.

    I'd just ask straight out his reasons and see if I can both work on a solution.

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    Dont feel pressured to give up if u r not ready.

    Speak with your DP and find out his reasons. The world health organization recommends BF-ing till 2 years anyway so it's normal.

    Youre doing what's best for your DD, hope u can work things out with your DP. I stopped BF DS about 2 weeks ago. He's just gone 14 months and I'm really missing it

    No one pressured me, it was my own choice, but I do wonder if I should have continued...

    Stop when it's right for you and your DD

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    OJandMe is offline I am the strength my children will have.
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    Stopping breast feeding won't stop the co-sleeping.

    when Lysander was 14 months i stopped feeding him during the day. and would then put him to bed in his own cot and bring him in with us when he woke for a night feed.

    when he stopped waking for his night feed it just naturally phased out.

    we still wake up with two kids in our bed.
    And one of them is not Lysander coz he can't out of his cot. lol.

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    Quote Originally Posted by OJandMe View Post
    Stopping breast feeding won't stop the co-sleeping.
    Most mummies know that, but a lot of daddies don't realise it!

    It could be that he's just sick of sharing the bed and the reduced intimacy that often goes along with it (don't know if that's the case here, just a generalization) so it might be that he's ever so quietly trying to give you the hint that junior needs to go to her own bed for that reason *chuckle*.

    It might not be that the issue really is the BFing for him, it might all just be about space in the bed. Have a chat with him and ask him if that's the real problem. If it is then it's fair to consider altering the sleeping arrangements.
    Bubs definitely need their food and it's fair to want to continue with BFing, but at the same time if you militantly stand your ground and just say "This is the way it is, deal with it", chances are he'll just start harboring some pretty serious resentment.

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    I agree with pp's... A chat with the hubby is needed to find out the specific reason why he wants you to stop bf'ing.

    If his family has been in his ear about bf'ing a tot being disgusting or not needed, just point them to the WHO guidelines and tell them to get stuffed.

    If your hubby is concerned about your sleeping space I think that's a valid concern you need to sort out.

    I agree with pp's: stopping the bf'ing may not stop the co-sleeping.
    - however *If* you are still feeding through the night this may be an issue you'd want to look at if you want to stop bed sharing. 14 month old tots shouldn't need night feeds unless they have a medical issue. Many wake expecting feeds because it's just a habit bub/parents have created. Some parents continue to co-bed because it's easier with night feeds. It's a cycle. Teaching bub to self settle, replacing night milk feeds with water in a cup may play a role in helping to stop bed sharing (it that is what you want).


 

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