+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 6 of 6
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    1,106
    Thanks
    80
    Thanked
    97
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Question Complicated Birthing situation

    ok so this is not exactly about birth but its a concern i have that revolves around birth

    Mods please move this if you please

    my EDD is 8/12 and my mother is flying up to be there for me, the only problem is im worried about how she will interact with my father (they havent seen each other in 24 years) and how she will deal with my step mum (they have never met) my step mum wants to be close by as she is like a mum to me. i just dont wanna have to mediate between them while im in labour and i dont wanna exclude any one. Dad will obviously not be present till after bubbby is born.
    Both have obviously re married and gone separate ways (they didnt meet at my wedding coz mum wasnt invited due to issues i had with her).

    Im anxious about this more then anything else and im the one giving birth.

    can anyone offer any advice, maybe something i could say to them or a way to organise so mum and dad dont see each other.

    TIA

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    8,806
    Thanks
    7,267
    Thanked
    9,720
    Reviews
    5
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    I'd speak to all of them separately and explain that I won't be able to mediate and that I expected they'd all act like adults and be civil as the birth and new baby are the most important things.
    Are you wanting both mum and step mum at the birth? It might be hard to do that if they don't know each other. It might be better to pick one or neither instead of trying to force an intimate relationship iykwim?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    1,106
    Thanks
    80
    Thanked
    97
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    i originally asked my step mum to be there with me coz i didnt think mum could make it as she has a 5 & 6 year old to look after but this week she said shes coming, and im worried about hurting my step mums feelings

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    5,554
    Thanks
    1,602
    Thanked
    2,360
    Reviews
    6
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Honestly, I'd have neither at the birth. Is your DH going to be there? If so, I'd just have him and get everyone else to visit after bub has arrived and you've had time to soak up your newborn. You don't need to deal with any stressful family stuff at that time.

  5. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Cue For This Useful Post:

    BlueRose1  (31-07-2012),HugsBunny  (31-07-2012)

  6. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    1,832
    Thanks
    1,407
    Thanked
    794
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Cue View Post
    Honestly, I'd have neither at the birth. Is your DH going to be there? If so, I'd just have him and get everyone else to visit after bub has arrived and you've had time to soak up your newborn. You don't need to deal with any stressful family stuff at that time.
    I agree!

  7. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Country WA
    Posts
    6,641
    Thanks
    3,134
    Thanked
    3,024
    Reviews
    13
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Do you have any reason to think there will be issues? 24 years is a long time to hopefully get over any hurts and move on. If you think there could be, then yes. Just tell them you expect them to put it aside and focus on you and their grandchild.

    As for the labour room, I think you either need to have neither or do rotating shifts so they can both be there but not at the same time and who ever is there at the end leaves before bubs comes out. Then there is no perceived favourtism for someone to be upset about.

    Good luck!

  8. The Following User Says Thank You to Californication For This Useful Post:

    BlueRose1  (31-07-2012)


 

Similar Threads

  1. TTC after recent complicated loss and contraceptives
    By Piscean Dreamer in forum Conception issues & ttc
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 12-04-2013, 21:31
  2. What would you do in my situation!?
    By perthmumm in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 164
    Last Post: 06-12-2012, 22:13
  3. Help...Has anyone else been in this situation?
    By Megan90 in forum Conception issues & ttc
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 15-11-2012, 07:21

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Babybee Prams
Save $50 in our pre-Christmas sale! All Comet's now only $500. Our bassinet & stroller set includes free shipping AUS wide, $75 free accessories, 18-months warranty & a 9 month free return policy. Check out our new designer range today!
sales & new stuffsee all
Wendys Music School Melbourne
Wondering about Music Lessons? FREE 30 minute ASSESSMENT. Find out if your child is ready! Piano from age 3 years & Guitar, Singing, Drums, Violin from age 5. Lessons available for all ages. 35+ years experience. Structured program.
Use referral 'bubhub' when booking
featured supporter
Maternity Clothes
Looking to buy maternity clothes? :: Check the bubhub directory of local & online maternity clothes shops :: Find preloved maternity wear
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!