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  1. #81
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    If it isn't detrimental to the children in any way then I fail to see how it is selfish in the first place, or am I missing something?

    Quote Originally Posted by share a book View Post
    Sorry if I offended anyone, I just fail to see how making selfish choices is bad. It is bad if it adversely affects the child/ren, but if everything is ok and you can afford the time and money, doing things for selfish reasons can be a positive thing. But if people want to assume otherwide and look for reasons to be offended, I really can't do much about that.

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  3. #82
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    There's are my thoughts on it.

    There is nothing wrong with being selfish. Everyone is selfish. If you're completely selfless you're a total push over and probably miserable in your life.

    Am I selfish that 5 days a week I get up early and go to the gym meaning that I am never home to get my kids breakfast (their dad does it). Yes I am.

    Am I selfish that even though financially we don't need me to I went to university because I selfishly decided I wanted a degree? Yes I am.

    Am I selfish that every Friday night, after a big week the kids go to bed early so that my husband and I have a night alone together every week, even though the majority of their friends get to stay up late? Yes we are.

    Is my husband selfish that he is so determined in his career it takes a lot of time away from us as a a family even though it provides us with a great life? Yes he is.

    Are any of these things damaging my family? No. Are they taking time away from our kids? Yes. Is this a bad thing? No. Who on earth would ever want to become a parent if it meant that you had to lose complete identity of yourself and morph in to a martyr who never, ever, ever, does anything that would take away even a minute of your time with them. If I lived like that I'd end up killing myself so for me and my family being selfish is best for us.

    There is nothing wrong with being selfish...as long as you aren't taking it to the extreme. You also don't need to do things because it will benefit your family in some way. Me exercising every morning has nothing to do with my family. I do it for me because I Bluddy well LOVE it and it makes me feel GREAT!

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  5. #83
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    Quote Originally Posted by beebs View Post
    If it isn't detrimental to the children in any way then I fail to see how it is selfish in the first place, or am I missing something?
    You must be, but I have no idea how to make it clearer.

  6. #84
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    I think I am missing what you actually think selfish means. This is the definition of selfish-
    devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.

    I have not heard one example on this thread that would be classed as the above, so therefore, no one here is selfish and so I fail to see you keep trying to get people to admit to being selfish, because no one here actually falls into that category.

    Quote Originally Posted by share a book View Post
    You must be, but I have no idea how to make it clearer.

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  8. #85
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    Quote Originally Posted by beebs View Post
    Are you a psychiatrist? Yeah - didn't think so If you were you wouldn't have written that post.

    I think you'll find things like alcohol abuse are often caused by mental illness. As are becoming addicted to different things, even shopping to extreme when you have no money - it is self destructive behaviour and a lot of the time is linked to mental illness.
    No obviously but I strongly stand by my opinion.
    I can walk into a doctors surgery and walk out 10 min later with anti depressants it's like getting lollies.
    I'm not referring to an alcoholic. There are parents that just don't care and are "sick" when it suits the situation.
    Some people are bad parents full stop. The reason they just don't care. And there is no cure for that.

    No need to roll eyes I give sympathy and support tto people that need it.
    And I am entitled to an opinion.
    Getting your nails done, hair done, partying till 5am, making your boyfriend the centre of your world while your children are suffering is not a mental illness no matter how much a proffessional would like it to be.
    Sometimes it's about responisiblity for your actions and the consequences that follow them.... Something that seems to have left some people.
    We live in a world where we can blame anything and everything for our misfortunes... Except ourselves because that hurts and that would mean taking responsibility.

  9. #86
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    Quote Originally Posted by beebs View Post
    I think I am missing what you actually think selfish means. This is the definition of selfish-
    devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.

    I have not heard one example on this thread that would be classed as the above, so therefore, no one here is selfish and so I fail to see you keep trying to get people to admit to being selfish, because no one here actually falls into that category.
    Nobody has to admit anything. But I think selfish is to do something that is only for you. Getting a tattoo will be a decision made based on my wants that will only be for me. How is that not selfish?

  10. #87
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    Quote Originally Posted by share a book View Post
    Nobody has to admit anything. But I think selfish is to do something that is only for you. Getting a tattoo will be a decision made based on my wants that will only be for me. How is that not selfish?
    Because it's not disregarding anybody else or putting anyone else's needs aside

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  12. #88
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    Do you not realise how ridiculous you sound. No really. You are basically sitting here saying that you don't care what the entire mental health medical community says, because you know better.

    Quote Originally Posted by Janesmum123 View Post
    while your children are suffering is not a mental illness no matter how much a proffessional would like it to be.

  13. #89
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    Doing any of the things in this thread is not just for the person - a mother who cracks under the pressure is no help to anyone, so she should take time out to do things for herself. Not selfish - but sensible.


    Quote Originally Posted by share a book View Post
    Nobody has to admit anything. But I think selfish is to do something that is only for you. Getting a tattoo will be a decision made based on my wants that will only be for me. How is that not selfish?

  14. #90
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    It isn't even that I don't appreciate what you are saying. I get it, but what I am taking issue with is that you are stating your opinion as fact.

    Quote Originally Posted by Janesmum123 View Post
    No obviously but I strongly stand by my opinion.
    I can walk into a doctors surgery and walk out 10 min later with anti depressants it's like getting lollies.
    I'm not referring to an alcoholic. There are parents that just don't care and are "sick" when it suits the situation.
    Some people are bad parents full stop. The reason they just don't care. And there is no cure for that.

    No need to roll eyes I give sympathy and support tto people that need it.
    And I am entitled to an opinion.
    Getting your nails done, hair done, partying till 5am, making your boyfriend the centre of your world while your children are suffering is not a mental illness no matter how much a proffessional would like it to be.
    Sometimes it's about responisiblity for your actions and the consequences that follow them.... Something that seems to have left some people.
    We live in a world where we can blame anything and everything for our misfortunes... Except ourselves because that hurts and that would mean taking responsibility.


 

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